I went to the dentist today. I'm 30 years old and I still haven't had a cavity. Not only that the dentist told me I had great teeth. The only problem is that when she went to clean them she cleaned them like she was upset at my mouth. She beat my gums up so bad my whole mouth was swollen. She pushed the sand blaster plaque remover (not official name) against my teeth so hard I thought they were going to uproot. I kept wincing in pain hoping she would notice but she just kept smiling. The dentist even poked my tongue with the sharp scraper (not official name). The dentist said a quick "I'm sorry" after that one. My mouth feels like it's been beat up. She even pulled out gauze to soak up the blood from my gums. I think the dentist hates that I have such good teeth.
Side Note: When it was over she asked if I would like a warm towel. I thought that was weird but I don't like to pass up new opportunities. I said yes and she brought me a hot mini towel to wipe my hands and blood soaked face. It was refreshing.
Are you sure that this wasn't the office of Dr. Frankenstein? Was there a strange gray storm cloud with lightning bolts shooting out of it located directly over this place whereas the entire surrounding area was sunny? Were there distinct sounds of werewolves baying?
ReplyDeleteI should have known something was up when I heard the baying werewolves. Funny stuff Daniel.
ReplyDeleteDentist...check. Pain...check. Blood...check. We are brothers in gauze.
ReplyDeleteI have had that experience before as well! I mean, it's just a cleaning for heaven's sake! You would think if they tell you "you have such great teeth" they wouldn't need to create WWIII inside your mouth. I can't imagine what they do to people with bad teeth...
ReplyDeleteYou made me laugh out loud (as usual). Even though I was in the room beside you, I had quite a different experience. There was no blood or pain, but the sound of that metal hook screeching against my teeth was just awful. She was friendly and I still have zero cavities ever. He said some spot on my tooth was close, but too small to even do anything about. I will win the fight against that tooth.
ReplyDeletegrowing up my dentist name was Dr. Malice, no kidding. I think you should make a movie. It would obviously be graphic in nature and we would not want the kids to be afraid of the dentist until after they had experienced it.
ReplyDeletethey usually just dangle a shiny keychain above me while they do work... so i'm completely preoccupied
ReplyDeleteI am TERRIFIED of going to the dentist. Completely and totally scared to death. So this blog affirmed that fear. I have a stomach ache just thinking about you being at the dentist..... Ugh.
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe nobody commented on the hot towel she offered. The pain and the blood are to be expected, but the hot towel! Come on people, that's good stuff! Perhaps you were sweating profusely. Was Monica also offered a towel? My dentist office is absolutely puntual, but no hot towels. I like that a lot.
ReplyDeleteDanielle, Monica was not offered the hot towel. I don't know if it was just the person that cleaned my teath. It was nice.
ReplyDelete