Best of the Decade

Before we hit the 2000's I didn't have a fat clue who Mark Batterson, Donald Miller, or Rob Bell were. Below is a list of my favorite books from the last decade...

1. In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day - Mark Batterson
2. Blue Like Jazz - Donald Miller
3. Velvet Elvis - Rob Bell
4. Crazy Love - Francis Chan
5. Communicating for Change - Andy Stanley
6. It - Craig Groeschel
7. Everybody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them - John Ortberg
8. The Shack - William P. Young
9. The Last Season: A Team In Search of It's Soul - Phil Jackson
10. Visioneering - Andy Stanley

As you can see I don't read a lot of fiction. What were your favorite books of the past decade?

Best of the Decade

It's crazy to me that this week we enter a new decade. It's hard to imagine life without Harry Potter, The Dark Knight, and the The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. The following is a list of some of my favorite movies from the past decade.

1. The Dark Knight - 2008
2. Slumdog Millionaire -2008
3. I Am Legend - 2007
4. The Bourne Trilogy - 2002, 2004, 2007
5. Iron Man - 2008
6. Shrek 1 and 2 - 2001, 2004
7. Star Wars Episode III - 2005
8. Batman Begins - 2005
9. X2: X-Men United - 2003
10. Elf - 2003

Honorable mention: Bruce Almighty, Signs, Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind, and Mission Impossible III.

It was hard to limit the list down, but that was my best attempt. What were some of your favorite movies of the past decade?

Christmas Eve with Waters Edge

Christmas Eve with Waters Edge was a huge success. 4,294 people attended the service. Just to put it in perspective, last year we had 2,700 at Christmas Eve. We are averaging close to 1,700 right now on Sundays. I don't know where we are going to put everyone if they come back to WEC.

The service was packed with creativity, humor, and a clear gospel message. Monica's (my lovely wife) camera died before the service was over, so you won't get to see everything. Enjoy the pics.

Pictured Above: I borrowed this pic from Larry Enscore's Facebook page. We ended the service with 6 drummers rocking out to Oh Come Let Us Adore Him.

Pictured Above: Mike Dominice rock'n out.

Pictured Above: The band kicked things off with Carol of the Bells..it was sick nasty.

Pictured Above: We had a DJ mix with the band. He's also the #16 beat boxer in the world. Check him out at http://www.maximillianmusic.com/

Pictured Above: I had the privilege to start things out with a 30 minute pre-show. I shot Chick Fil-A cows out to the crowd, showed videos, and played some crowd games. It's our way to help people get to church on time...even early.

I Got A Snuggie For Christmas

So for Christmas I got a Snuggie. In case you haven't been exposed to the cultural phenom that is the Snuggie, a Snuggie is a blanket with sleeves. My wife saw a super hero Snuggie at the mall and surprised me with this hilarious gift. I'm not going to lie it has now become my blanket of choice. Enjoy some pics...

Pictured Below: My brother got a matching Snuggie from his wife for Christmas.

Movie Review: Sherlock Holmes

The first time I saw a preview for Sherlock Holmes I marked my calendar for December 25. The preview looked amazing and I couldn't wait to see it. Every Christmas my family has a tradition where we go see a movie after we open gifts, and Sherlock Holmes was the unanimous selection. The question is does it live up to the hype?


Sherlock Holmes is the newest recreation of the classic character created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Like Batman, or James Bond Holmes gets a fresh start with this modern reboot. As Holmes, Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man) creates a character that could be Captain Jack Sparrow's brother...or at least his cousin. He's a little eccentric, but you can't help but root for him.


The movie has great action scenes, excellent acting, and a decent plot. It's a good movie. I didn't love it like I thought I would, but I may have to see it again before I make a final judgement. If you liked the new Bond movies or your fan of action movies then you will love Holmes. It's rated PG-13 for intense action/violence, a few swears, and a creepy villain who is in the occult. I give it one thumb up.

Rob's Rating System: Two Thumbs up = I loved it, worth paying full price, and I will own it on DVD.
One Thumb up = An OK movie, worth a matinee showing, and I may buy it on DVD if I see it in the $5 bin.
Thumb to the side = Wait and rent it. I wouldn't be mad if someone gave me this DVD, but I wouldn't buy it.
Thumbs down = I hated it, wish I wouldn't have wasted money on it, wouldn't own it on DVD

That's Christmas

From the makers of the classic video "overnighter" comes "That's Christmas." These guys are a part of the High School Student Ministry at Saddleback Church. I dream of making videos like this. Enjoy...

Spirit Week at the Waters Edge Office

Twas the week before Christmas and all through the office...WEC STAFF WERE WORKING LIKE CRAZY! Santa has nothing on the Waters Edge staff.

Christmas is a very busy time for the WEC staff. We are all putting in extra hours to make sure every detail is covered for our Christmas Eve services. In the midst of all the busyness we celebrated our 2nd Annual Spirit Week. Last week we celebrated each day with a different theme. The founder and president of WEC Spirit Week, Jamey Menser, did an excellent job of pulling it all off. Enjoy the pics...

Pictured Above: Founder and President, Jamey Menser, posted flyers all over the WEC office. The location of this one made me laugh.

Pictured Above: A WEC member, Derrick Phillips, took the staff out to lunch at Carrabba's. Carrabba's opened just for us. Big thanks to Derrick for that one!

Pictured Above: WEC staff plus Derrick doing our best to look cool for Dress Cool and Trendy
Day at Carrabba's.

Pictured Above: Tuesday was Flip Flop Day. Besides Fridays this is the only day of the year where we can wear flip flops to work. We are all off on Fridays so that day doesn't really count.

Pictured Above: Wednesday was Tacky Christmas Sweater Day.

Pictured Above: Favorite Waters Edge T-Shirt Day

Book Review: Primal by Mark Batterson

I'm a big fan of Mark Batterson's books. If you haven't read "In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day" then stop what you are doing, buy that book, and start reading it today!

I was lucky enough to get a pre-released copy of Mark's newest book "Primal." In Primal Mark challenges readers to get back to the heart of what it means to follow Jesus...to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. I love Mark's writing style. His writing makes me feel smarter at the same time he puts his lofty knowledge on the bottom shelf so I don't feel like an idiot. He quotes psychologists, facts about the universe, and theologians like sports statistics. At the same time he offers practical application that challenges the reader to put what they read into action.

Some of my favorite quotes are "It's much easier to act like a Christian than it is to react like one," "Most of us let what we cannot do keep us from doing what we can," The Bible isn't meant to be read reactively. It is meant to be prayed proactively. There are thousands of promises waiting to be claimed."

Primal is a great read and without a doubt it should be one of your first reads in 2010. Primal hits shelves today or you can purchase it here.

Brain Dump

My brain feels constipated with thoughts. The following is a brain dump of all the random stuff going on in my head.

• I saw three ladies wearing tacky Christmas sweaters while out at dinner. I wasn't at a Tacky Christmas Party. My question is are they in on the joke or do they seriously not know? Maybe they just don't care. Do they never get invited to a tacky Christmas Sweater Party because people are afraid they'll hurt their feelings?
• Speaking of tacky Christmas sweaters our staff wore them last Wednesday for Spirit Week. Come back Wednesday for some pics.
• Weird things are happening at my house. Monica and I came home the other night and the Nintendo Wii was on. I hadn't played it in days and it wasn't on when we left. Speaking of weird things...
• Last week our the water pressure to our shower turned into a pressure washer. It nearly ripped the skin off. I couldn't help but chuckle when, from the living room, I'd hear my wife yelp when the water first hit her.
• I went out and bought a new shower head that feels like rain. I was quite proud of myself. I don't fix things. It's not my gift, but I took care of this one. However, I did have to borrow some tools to get the old one off.
• This week is Christmas...CAN YOU DIG IT?
• I don't know if you know this or not but it's a proven fact that this is the most wonderful time of the year.
• For the first time ever Monica and I are giving each other a practical gift for Christmas. You don't know how hard this is for us. We love gifts! But we need a lot of stuff for the house so it makes sense to put the money towards that.
• I can't sleep on Christmas Eve. I wake up around 4:00 AM in excitement for Christmas. I normally open my stocking and then put in a Christmas movie.
• Robshep.com's survey for best Christmas Movie ends on Christmas day. Right now Elf has a commanding lead. If you haven't voted you should.
• The Christmas Movie Season is here! It's the second best movie season behind the Summer Movie Season. Look for a lot of reviews in the next couple of weeks. Click here to see the review for Avatar.
• If you live within a 610 mile radius of the 757 then you should come to Christmas Eve with Waters Edge. It's at the fabulous "Ferguson Center for the Arts" in Newport News. Service times are 1:00, 3:00, and 5:00 PM. Pre-show starts 30 minutes before the service.

Whew...I feel much better now.

Movie Review: Avatar

Avatar is the return of James Cameron. He's the director and writer of Terminator 1 & 2, Aliens, and a little film called Titanic. It's been 12 years since his last film, Titanic, took over the world. The question is was it worth the wait?

What separates Avatar from all other movies is the stunning visual effects. It's the best looking movie I've ever seen. I saw it in IMAX Digital 3D. I could do without having to wear 3D glasses, but it did add a cool element to the movie. The visual and special effects are worth seeing Avatar in the theaters, and paying the extra money for the 3D glasses.

The movie is epic in scale, visually stunning, and has some of the coolest action scenes in any movie I've seen. With all that you'd think I'd love this movie, but I didn't. I liked it a lot, but I didn't love it. I think the main problem was that it is a little too Sci-Fi with a dash of weird. I give it one thumb up. It's rated PG-13 for swears, and action/violence.

Rob's Rating System: Two Thumbs up = I loved it, worth paying full price, and I will own it on DVD.
One Thumb up = An OK movie, worth a matinee showing, and I may buy it on DVD if I see it in the $5 bin.
Thumb to the side = Wait and rent it. I wouldn't be mad if someone gave me this DVD, but I wouldn't buy it.
Thumbs down = I hated it, wish I wouldn't have wasted money on it, wouldn't own it on DVD

Everybody needs a Chad Johnson

We can only pretend to be perfect for so long. Eventually who you really are will be seen. The last few years whenever a public figure would fall from grace I would start to get scared. Not because of something I was hiding, but because of the lack of accountability in my life. I think people assume that everything is ok with Rob.

This year I started praying for someone in my life to ask me the tough questions. Again it's not because I was in trouble it's the fact that I could get away with it if I wanted to. I was sharing my thoughts with my good friend Chad Johnson (not the football player). That next week Chad gave me a call and that turned into weekly phone conversation. We talk about sports, life, the Bible, and what no one else knows about us. It's a safe conversation where we can honest.

Everybody needs a Chad Johnson in their life. Someone who can ask you the tough questions but not judge your answers. Someone who pushes you to be a better person. Someone who will make you think twice about decisions that could ruin your life. Someone who sees the real you.

Need A Christmas Game For Your Party?

The last few years I've played a really fun Christmas gift game. It's called the Dice Game. If you like White Elephant, Yankee Swap, or Dirty Santa (why does this game have so many names?!) then you should like the Dice Game. Here's how you play...

• Everyone needs to bring 5 wrapped gifts that cost no more than a $1 each. They can also bring junk from home if they don't want to spend the $5 bucks.
• Once you are ready to play put the gifts in the middle of the room and circle up around the gifts.
• You will need 4 dice and two containers to roll the dice in. Small plastic containers work fine. The container helps the dice not roll all over the room.
• When you say go, the two people that have the dice roll them into their container. Start the two containers at opposite sides of the circle.
• If they roll a 7 or 11 they get to pick out a present from the pile. If they roll doubles they get to roll again.
• After they roll they pass the container with the dice to the person next to them. The next person rolls and continues the process.
• The game moves quick because of the two sets of dice.
• Once all of the presents have been collected everyone gets to open their gifts. I like to have each person open one gift at a time. This way everone gets to see the gifts.
• Now this is where the fun begins. Set a timer for 5 minutes and start the game over. This time if someone rolls a 7 or 11 they can steal one gift from someone else. If they roll a double they get to roll again.
• At the end of the five minutes if anyone doesn't have a single gift then they get to steal one gift from someone else.
• It's a fast paced game and a lot of fun!

Here are a couple of pics from my Student Community Group. We played it on Wednesday night for group. I also played it with my Adult Community Group on Monday. I say that just let you know it's not just a Student game.

Vs.

Vs. - a challenge at robshep.com where you decide the outcome.

On this weeks Vs...

Real Christmas Tree vs. fake Christmas Tree. Which is better? You decide.

Negative People Suck

There are some people that will complain just because they are negative. The problem with negativity is that it's a cancer that spreads quickly. I've said for years that negativity breeds negativity. If you hear a negative comment it plants a negative thought that often gives birth to more negativity. Unintentionally a negative person can turn the most positive person into a sourpuss.

I believe that negativity comes from issues from within. A person who is at peace with themselves focuses on the positive things in life. When I get negative one of the first things I start to focus on is what's wrong within me. Why am I jealous, why am I being critical, why are they getting on my nerves? Finding out the answer to why I'm negative helps me change my attitude.

A negative person is that way because of their insecurity, jealousy, lack of fulfilment, and inner turmoil. Everyone visits negativity from time to time but some people live there. Spending time analyzing your own actions will help protect you from an extended stay in negative land.

My Pastor's Clone

This is my pastor, Stu Hodges...


This is my pastor, Stu Hodges clone...

The above picture was taken by a former WEC member who moved to Texas. They were visiting friends when they saw this picture. They sent it to their old Community Group Facilitator at WEC who then sent it to me. The resemblance is scary.

Christmas lights prank

I was sent this picture through email this week. I don't know if the following is true (I mean it was from an email forward) but it sure is funny. Enjoy...

Well, there is good news and bad news about my Christmas decorations.
The good news is that I truly outdid myself this year. The bad news is that
I had to take them down after only two days. I had more people come
screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me
take it down. First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic
accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by. Second, a 55 year old
lady grabbed the ladder and almost killed herself putting it against my
house and didn't realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was
not happy). She was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard
couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people
literally drove up my yard.

If Chick Fil-A Ruled the World

I tweeted this earlier this week, but I felt like it was a blog worthy thought. What if Chick-fil-A ruled the world. If you are a robshep.com reader outside of the south you may not know about Chick-fil-A. What you need to know is it's amazing! Both the food and the customer service are top shelf. It's fast food yet they come by and ask if you want refills on drinks, provide after dinner mints, and wet wipes. They also always respond with the phrase "my pleasure" whenever you say thank you. So what if they ruled the world?

• Places like the DMV, cable companies, and Wal-Mart would have stellar customer service.
• You would pay a little bit more (they don't have a dollar menu) but it would be worth it for the quality and service.
• Businesses would be closed on Sundays so that families could spend time at church and then with each other. Thus I believe we would be less stressed, have healthier relationships, and come to work on Monday's re-energized.
• Comedy would be smart but void of crude humor. Have you ever scene their billboards? Ha-larious.
• Politicians would run clean campaigns while at the same time poking fun at their opponent. Chick fil-A picks on hamburgers non-stop. Their slogan is "Eat More Chicken" and it's said by a cow. It's funny but it's not mud slinging.
• All coupons would be taken even after they expire. I love that about Chick-fil-A.
• Creativity would be appreciated and taught at schools. It's one of the most creative companies I know.

Any other ideas of how our world would be different if Chick fil-A ruled it?

Do you want liquid to spew from both ends of your body?

My wife calls me in a frantic state to let me know that there was a recall on all Slim-Fast cans. Apparently some of the cans had a bacteria on them that causes explosive liquid to spew from both ends of your body. Hearing that made me giggle. There are no issues with other Slim-Fast products...just the cans. You can get a full refund for all cans from Slim-Fast.

I drink Slim-Fast for breakfast.

I have two cans left in my fridge from a six pack. To drink or not to drink? That is the question.

Rob Raps

A couple of Sundays ago at WEC I got to channel my hip hop side at church. Sometimes I like to pretend to be a rock star. It doesn't come out often, but I have a lot of fun with it when it does. If you weren't there I hope you enjoy the performance.

The song is "Get This Party Started" by TobyMac

A Letter to Hair

Dear Hair,

I really appreciate you. In fact I'd look really weird if my body was completely hairless. You provide warmth for my head, as my eye brows you provide a sweat catcher, and because of shaving you give me something to do in the morning. In other words I'm grateful for you.

With all the good you do I hate to nitpick but there are a few things that I just don't understand. I don't understand why you decide to grow and not grow. Why are you on my back when I don't want you to be? At the same time you're leaving my head where I really want you. Don't you want to go where you are welcomed?

I also don't get what causes you to grow. Why did you decide to start growing on my ears? Are you like a plant who leaves seeds when it falls. Did you fall off my head and onto my ears, and back? Don't get me wrong I don't have it as bad as some guys, but I'm curious.

If there is anything I've done to tick you off and make you want to leave my head then I'm sorry. Please don't take it out on the rest of my body.

Trying to understand,

Rob

P.S. Please stop growing out of my nose. Instead put that same effort into the top of my head and I'll be a happy man.

What do people think of you...

What do the people who know you the best think of you? Everyone can fool strangers or people at a distance but the people who see the real you can't be fooled.

"Being above reproach means that the people who see the real you still decide to follow you." - Francis Chan

It's easy to try really hard to please people you barely know and neglect the people that you love the most. The real you comes out when you are not pretending. When that happens it's the people who love you the most that are affected. Make a conscious effort to work on yourself and then you wont have to work so hard to hide who you really are.

Lazy Man's Christmas Lights...or Genius

Do you have a neighbor who goes all out with Christmas lights on their house? If so you might want to borrow this idea...
In my opinion it's very clever.

Rob's Top Ten: Christmas Movie Edition

It's December and that means that it's time to watch Christmas movies. Call me legalistic but I don't think people should watch Christmas movies before Thanksgiving and after New Years. Someone should pass that along to the cable networks who play Home Alone 2 in July (seriously it's played almost every month of the year). The following is a list of my favorite Christmas movies of all time...

10. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (It's not as good as the first but it still makes me laugh)

09. A Charlie Brown Christmas

08. Gremlins

07. It's A Wonderful Life

06. The Santa Clause (classic, but don't make me comment on the two sequels)

05. National Lampoons Christmas Vacation

04. Die Hard (I recommend watching this one on TV, but it's a classic)

03. A Christmas Story

02. Elf

01. Home Alone

What's your favorite Christmas movie? Vote on it on the new poll at robshep.com.

If you like Twilight...

If you like Twilight I think the following clip will make you laugh. It's from Taylor Swifts appearance on Saturday Night Live. Very funny.

God doesn't make sense

I don't get God. In fact there are a lot of things about God that just don't make sense. Like why doesn't He show up anymore? In the Old Testament He seemed to show up a lot. I'd like a burning bush every now and again. Another thing that doesn't make sense is how God is one and yet at the same time three...Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. That may not be a big deal to you but that claim almost got Jesus stoned (and I'm not talking about the wacky weed). I don't get why God doesn't step in more when tragedy arises. I don't get why God allows negligent, unloving people to have kids, while potential great parents are barren.

There are a lot of things about God that just don't make sense, but some how God still makes sense of my life. I don't get God and truthfully I'm glad. If I could fully understand God what type of supreme being would that be?

What makes sense to me is that I need Him in my life. Without Him I'm lost. I'm a better husband, friend, and human being because of God. What makes sense is that I'm imperfect and in need of a Savior. What doesn't make sense is how God would love me despite my imperfection. What doesn't make sense is how God would pursue me despite how many times I've turned my back on Him. God doesn't make sense but He makes sense of my life.

Movie Review: The Blind Side

The Blind Side is one of the best movies I've seen this year. It's heart warming, funny, and inspirational. It has something for everyone in your family.

The Blind Side stars Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw (yes the country music superstar). The film is based off the real life story of Michael Oher, a NFL lineman. Oher was on the streets, and a below average student when a family took him into their lives. This movie has something for everyone, sports, drama, humor, and an engaging story. It's also one of Sandra Bullock's best performances. It's rated PG-13 for brief violence, and a few swears. I give it two thumbs way up.

Rob's Rating System: Two Thumbs up = I loved it, worth paying full price, and I will own it on DVD.
One Thumb up = An OK movie, worth a matinee showing, and I may buy it on DVD if I see it in the $5 bin.
Thumb to the side = Wait and rent it. I wouldn't be mad if someone gave me this DVD, but I wouldn't buy it.
Thumbs down = I hated it, wish I wouldn't have wasted money on it, wouldn't own it on DVD

Random Things I'm Thankful For...

Thanksgiving is a day to give thanks. I'm thankful for my wife (she's the best wife ever hands down), I'm thankful for my family, my friends, my church, and I'm thankful that God found me. There are also a lot of random things that I'm thankful for, like...

• The inventor of toilet paper, Joseph C. Gayetty. Before him people used the Sears Catalog, grass, leaves, sponges, shells, and corncobs. Read those last two again and you will be thankful for Joseph C. Gayetty.
• The inventor of the phrase, "righty tighty lefty loosey." I don't know who that was but they have saved me a lot of time and frustration.
• Chipotle...nuff said.
• People falling down. It makes me laugh and laughter is a healthy thing.
• Ice Spiker hair glue. I've used it for years. It works really well.
• Wireless Internet. We just got it for Monica's (my wife's) b-day. Before that we were stuck up stairs on a computer that was worse than having dial-up.
• Underwear. It rarely gets seen but it's one thing we all have in common...at least we should.
• Texting - so simple but yet it's revolutionized the way we communicate.
• The fact that my butt has never been featured on the news when they talk about obesity. Have you ever watched the news when they talk about obesity?
• The Nintendo Wii. It's fun and it's name opens itself up for immature jokes.
• Speaking of immature humor who came up with the name aspergers. It's a serious condition that many kids have, but someone should have thought through that name.
• Naps - if I was in charge I would allow a 30 minute nap everyday. We force kids to take them but then we don't take them ourselves...a little hypocritical don't you think?

That's it for me. So what random things are you thankful?

Rob's new hair

I have not kept it a secret that I know that I'm losing my hair. I posted about the time my barber told me I was at stage three for hair loss...there are only four stages. I posted about the new shampoo that is supposed to work work wonders. It's expensive. It also brings fear to me every time I use it because I'm nervous it's not going to work on my head...but shampoo has to touch other parts of my body when I wash it off. I'm afraid I'm going to turn into a bald wookie (for none Star Wars fans that's what Chewbacca is).

This visor could solve that for me. We saw it at a restaurant in Nags Head and it made us all laugh. I hope you enjoy the pic.

Can You Fall Out of Love?

I'm not a big fan of the phrase I fell in or out of love. I often use it, but I'm not a fan. The problem I have with it is that it makes love completely about a feeling. It's relatively easy to fall in and out of love when it's comprised of feelings alone. Something new can evoke a feeling that we mistake for love. Attractiveness can evoke a feeling that we mistake for love. Instant gratification can evoke feelings that we mistake for love. The need for companionship can evoke a feeling that we mistake for love. Love goes beyond feelings. It's a choice!

Feelings are fleeting. True love sees the worst you have to offer and still sticks by your side.

I know we can't always control our feelings...but that is why when it comes to love it has to be about more than feelings. If you want true love in your life then choose to love others well...despite their flaws. If you want true love in your life love beyond the feelings.

If you can fall out of love then was it ever love to begin with? Maybe it was just a feeling. I have enough feelings in my life...I want to choose to love.

Movie Review: Twilight Saga New Moon

I don't get it.

I give it a thumb to the side.

(For more review check out the comments...)

Rob's Rating System: Two Thumbs up = I loved it, worth paying full price, and I will own it on DVD.
One Thumb up = An OK movie, worth a matinee showing, and I may buy it on DVD if I see it in the $5 bin.
Thumb to the side = Wait and rent it. I wouldn't be mad if someone gave me this DVD, but I wouldn't buy it.
Thumbs down = I hated it, wish I wouldn't have wasted money on it, wouldn't own it on DVD

Conflict Part 3

Conflict happens for two reasons.

1. Unmet expectations
2. Unrealistic expectations

Conflict arises when someone doesn't meet or exceed your expectations.
Think about something you think is rude...someone texting during a meeting, a girl farting on a first date, someone constantly interrupting you when you speak.

Now the question you need to ask is have I communicated this expectation? If you haven't then your first step is to communicate it. Not when you are upset or mad, but when you can communicate it clearly.

Ex: The guys in my Student Community Group often text during the lesson. I felt like that was a distraction but I never communicated that with them. I can't get mad if they text if I never set up a ground rule. So the new rule we have in group is everyone shuts off their cell phone before the discussion.

Now if you have communicated that expectation then you need to answer a second question...is it unrealistic? In premarital counseling the example we always give to guys is that it's an unrealistic expectation to have sex every day with your wife. That's unrealistic! Understanding if it's realistic or not can help you decide if you should address the conflict.

If you have communicated the expectation and it is realistic then it's healthy to confront. In fact it's the only way to grow and move past this...for you and for the person you are in conflict with.

To be continued...

Conflict Part 2

How do you feel about conflict?

I hate conflict but I've come to believe that conflict can be healthy and necessary to maintain healthy relationships. With that being said I still want to avoid it like the plague.

The reason that conflict can be healthy is because, when handled right, it can help restore a relationship, heal a wound, or help a person get to the next level.

Think about it this way if someone had a problem with you and it wasn't petty wouldn't you want to know? If you had a blind spot in your life that drove people crazy wouldn't you want to know? If you had unintentionally hurt someone with your actions wouldn't you want to know about it?

Now if it's a high maintenance friend who always complains that you don't call, don't hang out enough, or leave them out then you may not want to know. But if I'm doing something and it's affecting the quality of someone else's life I'd want to know. The key to conflict and overcoming it is in the way you communicate...

To be continued

Catalyst: One Day

On Monday the WEC programming staff went to Maryland for a conference called Catalyst One Day. It was a great day and a good conference. This trip was extra special because we brought our wives. Enjoy some pics of the trip...

Pictured Above: Bethany and Phil Poteat

Pictured Above: Stu (with strep throat), Tab, Jamey, and Carlyn.

Pictured Above: Our staff was blessed with a homemade dinner for the ride up and a basket filled with sparkling cider, chocolate covered strawberries, mixed nuts, and grapes. All of this was provided by one of the WEC volunteers!

Pictured Above: We took the WEC party bus.

On our drive up the party bus broke down. Lucky for us Bill Laws was with us. Not only did he drive us he also pulled a MacGyver and fixed a leaky hose with duct tape.

Pictured Above: All the liquid leaking from the party bus .

We stopped at a Wal-Mart in hopes to find the parts we needed to fix the bus.

Pictured Above: Carlyn and Tab pretending to dual.

Pictured Above: Andy Stanley and Craig Groeschel spoke at the conference.

Both were top shelf!

Pictured Above: Steve Fee led worship. If you don't have his new disc you need to ASAP!

Pictured Above: The WEC staff and wives singing We Shine by Steve Fee

Conflict Part 1

I learned in a college psych class about Flight or Fight. According to Flight or Fight we all have a tendency to either flee confrontation or fight when a problem arises. For me I'm a bona fide flighter. I hate confrontation.

Because I hate it I have a hard time talking to someone when they hurt my feelings. I analyze it to death, have conversations in my head, and then dismiss the issue because I convince myself it's not that big of a deal.

Here's what I've learned with conflict...it shouldn't be avoided. Conflict should be handled with care and done in a respectful way, but if you avoid it the problem it never goes away.

To be continued...

Monica's Birthday

30 years ago today my wife was born. I can't tell you how thankful I am to have her in my life. Without a doubt every day is happy birthday to me because of her.

I love you Monica!

Movie Review: This Is It

"This Is It" is the documentary about the prep for Michael Jackson's last concert tour. As you probably know Michael never got to preform that concert so all the footage is of rehearsals for the show.

"This Is It" is a great film. Maybe it's because MJ's music is so timeless but the film is very enjoyable. At times you can tell MJ is going through the motions but even at 50 years old it is evident that he is a stellar performer. The sets for the concert are mind blowing, the dancers move effortlessly, and the concert shows why MJ was one of the greatest entertainers ever.

I probably won't own this on DVD but it's such a great theater experience I have to give it two thumbs up.

Rob's Rating System: Two Thumbs up = I loved it, worth paying full price, and I will own it on DVD.
One Thumb up = An OK movie, worth a matinee showing, and I may buy it on DVD if I see it in the $5 bin.
Thumb to the side = Wait and rent it. I wouldn't be mad if someone gave me this DVD, but I wouldn't buy it.
Thumbs down = I hated it, wish I wouldn't have wasted money on it, wouldn't own it on DVD

Catchphrase

Catchphrase: "A phrase that is recognized by it's repeated utterance and often becomes apart of culture."I don't know about you but I like to know where phrases that people say come from.

Today's catchphrase: "Sorry Charlie."

Origin of Sorry Charlie - according to Wikipedia "Sorry Charlie" comes from a popular tuna commercial that played up until 1985. It was said by Charlie the Tuna after he would escape the fisherman's hook.

Student Group

Every Wednesday night 8-12 junior and senior guys come to my house for Student Community Group. We hang out, laugh, play the Wii, eat snack, and talk about God. It's a big part of my life and I think it's a big part of theirs as well. One of the students needed some pics for their school yearbook. After taking some I thought I share them with the rest of the world. Enjoy.

Rob's Observatory

Rob's Observatory: A place where Rob observes the world around him.

Observation: I take a men's vitamin called One A Day (Pictured Below).

While taking this vitamin I noticed that it was sponsored by Major League Baseball. I don't know if I was a vitamin or supplement company if I would want to be sponsored by a league that is so known for their use of steroids. Come to think of it I do feel a little stronger since taking One A Day. Maybe it is a good thing for them to partner with the MLB.