So I've been a dad of twins for two weeks now. I love it even more then I thought I would. Here are some of my thoughts for my first two weeks of fatherhood...
- I hated holding other people's babies. Especially when the babies couldn't hold their own head up. HATED it. I love holding my babies. I sit for long periods of time just holding one of the twins.
- Putting babies in a WWE choke hold move is my least favorite thing about parenting...so far. I know babies need to burp after they eat but I am not a fan of the suggested choke hold. My son Hayden will look up at my after 2 or 3 pats on the back with a look that says, "seriously?" I hate the look.
- I go to sleep hearing things. I close my eyes and I hear crying. I look at the baby monitor and it's not moving. I close my eyes again and I hear crying. I repeat this 3 or 4 times and then finally fall asleep.
- I smell baby poop. I smell poop even when there is no poop to smell. I have smelt poop in my car, while jogging, and just wafting in the air at home.
- Babies startle easy. You know when you wake up because you startled? It's this leg shaking, what the heck type moment. I call it the sleep startles. It happens to babies all the time.
- I wish that babies snored. I don't like when they cry but when they cry I know they are alive. When it's silent I get nervous. I check on the twins constantly to make sure they are still breathing. This is when I see them get the sleep startles.
- Beware of Flathead. After being a parent for a full week the doctor told us about Flathead. Flathead? Apparently if you don't give babies belly time they get Flathead from being on their backs all the time.
- Some advice just doesn't make sense. The nurses told us not to wake the babies for anything. Then she told us that we must not keep them in a dirty diaper. So does the dirty diaper trump the don't wake rule? She also said that they need to stay nice and warm. "You can't keep a baby warm enough" she said. A few minutes later she tells us not to make them too warm because babies stop breathing when they are too warm. Do what?!
- With all the rules of raising babies I am shocked that human race is still alive. How did we survive before people washed their hands, had hospitals, car seats etc.? I mean seriously, Jesus was born in a stable. A stable. A stable without changing tables, baby wipes, disinfecting pads for their umbilical cord (more on that in a second), diapers, hand sanitizer etc.
- I cut the umbilical cord, but that thing still takes 7 to 10 days to fall off. Currently it looks like a shriveled piece of bacon coming out of their belly button.
- I wondered if my son would attempt to latch on to my nipple. When he's hungry he roots around and makes a sucking noise. He often starts eating my arm. I offered him my nipple to see what he'd do and he wasn't even remotely interested. I think it means he's a genius already.
- Both my kids are escape artists. We swaddle them tighter then a straight jacket and like Houdini they find a way to get at least one of their hands free and on to their face.
So if you are a parent what is the one thought that you resonate with the most? If you are not a parent what is the one thought that surprised you?
Love this, Rob. I also love that Hayden's free hand is on his sister's cheek. Sweetness* Good stuff. I smell poop. ; )
ReplyDeleteI get a portion of every point (except the nipple part...i did let my kids suck on my finger, because it was so cute)...and I used to hear things in my sleep ALL night long, not just as I was trying to fall asleep...to remedy the Houdini act, I would put Tirzah in a swaddle me blanket and then wrap another blanket around her...sounds cruel, but she would keep herself awake with her hands flying all around like they had a mind of their own...I love how you are able to articulate all of these insights .
ReplyDeleteThe one thought I resonate with is "This, too, shall pass". You think you have one stage figured out and kids are already transitioning to another stage. Regardless of the issue: sleepless nights, stinky diapers, dependency on one thing or another, colic,separation anxiety, terrible twos--Remind yourself: This, too shall pass. Therefore, don't sweat the small stuff.
ReplyDeleteWhat one thing surprised me? Are you kidding here? Try to breast feed your own children. This will have them in therapy before they are out of diapers.
ReplyDeleteLove checking your blog here & there, especially to read about your new babies! I couldn't agree with you more about your first point. I am NOT a baby person...Even my nieces and nephews I have a hard time wanting to hold them, but when it is your own child...something different happens. You can't explain it!! I wish you the best & pray you get some sleep!
ReplyDeleteDawn Davis
ps. Our daughter also is an escape artist. look into this thing called, "the miracle blanket" it truly is a 'miracle' for swaddling & helped our little one sleep & not hit herself in the face.
your nipple huh? yeah, that's a little weird, lol! seriously though, it all sounds pretty normal and you seem to be handling it like a pro!
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny. All of your observations (except the nursing part) are normal. The part that resonates with me is the one about checking on them all the time. Something happens to you when you become a parent. Your whole reason for being changes. You are constantly vigilant about your kids. It does get easier with the passing of time, but not much. God has made you responsible for two wonderful children. It is mind blowing at times how much these little strangers rock your world. You will be fine. Take what advice you want and leave the rest. Most people mean well. The babies are beautiful.
ReplyDeletegreat post rob! i, as you know, am not a parent. so the one thought that surprised me the most was the umbilical cord not falling off for 7 to 10 days. i never knew that happened. crazy what you learn when you, or your friends become parents. cant wait to meet the little ones. i'm sure youre kickin butt as being a dad!
ReplyDeleteRob, too much info on the nipple experience...can't believe you would try that much less share it with others. I do get the checking to see if they are breathing ! I remember (this was 30 years ago) holding my finger under my sons nose to feel for the air coming out or placing my hand on him to check to see if he was still breathing. About keeping them warm...so important. At my great nephew's six week checkup he had lost weight due to using his energy to keep warm. My sister (the grandma) had tried to tell them they weren't keeping him warm enough but they didn't listen to her. So, keep those babies wrapped up! CHERISH each and every moment you have with them, HOLD them while you can. they grow up so very fast.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to so many of comments. It's hard to pick one! I am so thankful for our video monitor to help us out with the hearing noises and the checking on them points. Buying that monitor was one of the best investments ever.
ReplyDeleteI have often smelled poop when there isn't any poop to smell. Connor's poop didn't really stink all that much when he was a tiny baby, but it had a certain smell to it. I used to have some make-up that reminded me of how his poop used to smell. As soon as I used up that make-up, I switched to another kind. Even though it didn't really stink, something seems really wrong about putting something that reminds you of that on your face!
Connor was also an escape artist. One little hand would break out of his swaddle.
Also, I love Mim's comment about the changing stages that they go through. You will have them all figured out (or at least think you do) and then something changes. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world though!
Wow man, the nipple talk... TMI. But I appreciate your honesty!
ReplyDeleteThe only one I really can relate to is the umbilical cord. I knew it took at while for it to fall off but it gets grosser and smellier as it gets closer to falling off. It would make me gag a little.
ReplyDeleteThe phantom crying. I forgot about that. I started wearing earplugs. (Yes, another fact that won't further my Mother of the Year nomination).
ReplyDeleteThis is a great list. Wish I kept one. Kind of.
Katelynn roots around on Kevin too and it kinda creeps him out, so he immediately brings her to me to feed her! I think it's hilarious...her umbilical cord took 3 weeks to fall off! And it was definitely pretty gross! Right now, Katelynn is currently suffering from baby acne all over her face. Unfortunately, I'm a picker and it takes everything in my body to leave the spots alone and it makes me wonder if this is going to be a problem when she hits adolescence??? I'm so happy for you guys!!!
ReplyDeleteHey Rob, google the term "lotus birth". All of the umbilical cord talk brought this to mind. A little something that I learned about during my years as an L&D nurse. As gross as the little umbilical stump is, could you even imagine this?! I think in your words it's "gag nasty".
ReplyDeleteGag nasty indeed. Wow!
ReplyDeleteEarplugs...I like how you role.
ReplyDeleteI never smelt it, but I did get grossed out cleaning it.
ReplyDeleteI know, but I thought it was funny. I figured others might to. It was late at night and I haven't been getting much sleep.
ReplyDeleteWhat's up with those Shepherd boys. One day they will be escape artists together...pretending to break free from some villains traps.
ReplyDeleteWill do. About the nipple...I thought it was funny and thought others might too.
ReplyDeleteIt is crazy. Thanks for the comment B-Rad. Excited for you to be back in the 757.
ReplyDeleteThanks Meema92. When are you going to come meet them?
ReplyDeleteI don't know about the pro part, but thanks.
ReplyDeleteDawn, thanks for the comment! It was good to hear from you. Mon and I will check into the miracle blanket for sure.
ReplyDeleteI'm banking on the fact that most kids remember nothing before 4 years old.
ReplyDeleteWill do.
ReplyDeleteThanks Billy.
ReplyDeleteBarb, I didn't notice the hand till I read your comment. Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteNot a parent yet, but loved this post!
ReplyDeleteIt was terribly funny! I just appreciate your selfless abandon into brutal honesty. I'm sure you aren't the first person to try that, but you're one of the few to own up to it. And that, is respectable!
ReplyDeleteDerek, we are good for lunch at 11:30 on Tuesday? Just wanted to check again.
ReplyDeleteThanks Susan. I've got a feeling that you will be soon.
ReplyDeleteI love seeing the picture of YOU holding TWO babies! Your visit to see me and Addy Lin at the hospital was the MOST memorable because of your baby phobia! It cracked me up that you drove all the way to Norfolk by yourself and did not want to hold her... So it is a total trip for me to see YOU holding not one but TWO babies! I love it! You are an excellent Dad already! I am so excited to meet those sweet little people in the morning! Being a parent is NOT for the weak... I can remember hearing the phantom cries. And it is SO true about thinking you have the kid all figured out and then they move on to the next phase! That continues to happen... forever I think! My heart is so full when I think about you and Mon's new normal. It has 2 sweet, little stinky, crying, hungry, adorable and precious babies in it! :)
ReplyDeleteYessir! See ya then.
ReplyDeleteThis made me chuckle out loud!!!
ReplyDelete{im kristi andersons sis}
Love this post, Rob! It made me laugh out loud! Totally get the checking to see if they are breathing - I STILL check on Grayson every single night before I go to sleep...and he's 3 1/2. :)
ReplyDeleteYour babies are BEAUTIFUL! Loved reading about your thoughts... so many of them made me laugh, like the belly buttons looking like shriveled up bacon and the confusing contradictory advice! So true! Congratulations to you and Monica!!!
ReplyDeleteJulie Wagner
Oh and if you haven't gotten them already get swaddle me blankets (babies r us). My twins couldn't wiggle out of those and it kept them asleep LONGER :) And, they startled less...
ReplyDeleteI remember the constant smell of poop and the freaking out about if they were breathing while sleeping. It took us a while to feel at ease while they were sleeping. Then I figured out that I had to sleep with the monitor on, but a pillow over my head. So I couldn't stress over every little sound, but I could here the real crys. Now I have to have a pillow over my head to go to sleep.
ReplyDeleteThis type of stuff used to freak me out. Now I'm just excited to see how I'll do!
ReplyDeleteFunny stuff, Rob.
Sweet pictures :) my friends baby's poop smells like popcorn! It's awesome ...except now we don't want to eat popcorn haha
ReplyDeleteI was going to wait until the stampede slowed down some. I would love to meet them, though.
ReplyDeleteYou sound like any other first time parents. As a NICU nurse myself, this is the one important piece of advice I give every parent...don't forget to make time for each other...the rest will fall into place! Congratulations and best wishes!
ReplyDeleteThis was so "Rob as Dad"! I loved it! I laughed and I cried (with joy) those are two of the most blessed kids in the whole world being raised by you and Monica! I loved the dried up bacon umbilical cord- never thought of it- but you are absolutely right! My prayers are daily with you...
ReplyDeleteRob have been travelling a lot lately & not been so diligent in blog reading so just discovered about the arrival of your twins.
ReplyDeleteTotally, totally thrilled for you both - how so cool!!
Special greetings from down under!!
Love the pics!!
John
PS I think that my kids are in the genius class!
ReplyDeleteThe hearing things...this takes years to get past and then when you get past that and they are teenagers and you want to hear things like them sneaking out of the house, or coming in after curfew, you don't because you're so freaking tired from all the years of getting up to make sure they are breathing or getting up 10 times a night when they have the late night vomit sessions after eating the hot dogs, funnel cakes and cotton candy you told them would make them sick... it's never ending until they are out of the house and you realize your alone and its all quiet and you miss ALLthose thoughts from above and then some - think about it this way, these are just your thoughts from two weeks, imagine your thoughts in one year. Ha-Ha
ReplyDelete