I Told My Son To Shut Up

The following will probably eliminate me from parent of the year contention. I'm not sure that is really an award. Even if it's not an award the following will probably make non parents and perfect parents judge me. The following moments are not moments that I am proud of.

Here's the scene: It's 2:00 AM. My son, Hayden, was crying no scratch that freaking out um...still not it...hulking out.  I had tried everything to calm him down. Now he doesn't normally act this way so I wasn't used to this type of behavior. Normally after he is fed he is quiet and falls to sleep. Not this time. This time he screamed. My nerves were all but shot but then he took it to a whole notha level. He pooped. He pooped enough poo to make me yell, "OHHHHHHHHHH!" as soon as I opened the diaper. Now instead of letting me clean him in peace he kept hulking out. He was reacting so much he was kicking his legs into his own poo.

His twin sister is sleeping, I'm tired, and he's kicking his legs in his poo at 2:00 AM. It was rough. I finally clean him up and start to put the clean diaper on him and he sprays pee everywhere. I'm talking on me, on his face, and on his new un-used diaper. It was at this moment that in the midst of him screaming that I said, "shut up." Now shut up is not a phrase that Monica and I use to each other. It's not a phrase that I ever want to say to my kids. In fact it shocked my wife so much that she started crying. My wife doesn't cry so I knew I messed up.

Now Hayden hulked out often that night and into the morning. So much so that Monica called the doctor. I can't remember the official name but apparently Hayden has a baby version of acid reflux. He has to sleep in his car seat, take adult Malox, and he has to be propped up as he eats. I already felt bad about telling him to shut up, but now I felt worse. At least I now knew the reason for his actions.

I've said this on the blog before but hurt people hurt people. People that are hurting and don't deal with their hurt will often hurt others. Hayden was hurting and I didn't deal with it properly.

It makes me think about how I respond to others that are hurting. We tend to be reactionary and if someone is rude to us we lash out at them. But maybe they are hurting. Maybe we should show a little bit of grace. Maybe we shouldn't tell them to shut up. Maybe through caring for them they will get the help they need to not hurt anymore.

You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. - Jesus.

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you. - Solomon.