I'm Glad I'm Not A Baby

I love that I have twin babies. I love it, but it constantly reminds me that I would hate to be a baby. Sure it comes with some good things like being waited on hand and foot, being able to take multiple naps in a day, and not having to worry about matching your clothes because  you can wear a onesie. But I'll take being an adult over being a baby every day.  Here are some things that make me glad I'm not a baby.

• They scream to communicate. Hungry = scream. Gas = scream. Tired = scream. Bored = scream. Dancing with the Stars is on the TV = scream. Now granted that last one is from me screaming, but you get the point. I like being able to communicate by speaking instead of just screaming.
• They poo and pee in their pants. Granted sometimes this would save some time, but it would stink (pun intended) to sit in your own poo until someone changes you.
• They get swaddled in straight jackets. I hate...let me repeat...I hate going to a hotel and getting into the hotel bed. Stay with me on this. It's so binding and tucked in that it feels like being swaddled. I kick like an infant until I get the sheets untucked from the bed. I can't imagine being swaddled as an adult.
• They get diaper rash and and need butt paste. Okay these could be two separate bullet points, but they kind of go together. I don't get rashes...thankfully. I also don't have to keep butt paste for myself. I didn't know this until this past week, but when you apply butt paste you have to rub it in with your finger. Your FINGER. My wife loves me, but I don't know if she'd put butt paste on me.
• They only eat liquid. Have you ever been on a liquid diet? I have. It was called fasting. It was for God and it was awful. I am so glad I get to eat Chipotle.
• They can't see. I don't know how far they can see, but I know it's not far. I like to see.
• They go cross eyed, their eyes roll up in their heads, and they throw up. As an adult that is a clear sign that you are possessed by a demon or two.
• They can't keep a pacifier in their mouth. If it didn't cause them to suffocate, I'd be a HUGE fan of a pacifier that could be attached to a babies face. Similar to those contraptions that come with some braces. My twins love a pacifier, but they can't keep it in their mouth. I'd hate to have something I love slip away from me so easily.

Now that I think of it a lot of these things apply to getting really old. That sounds like a blog post for another day.

I'm glad I'm not a baby, but I sure do love the two that God gave me! Enjoy some pics from their first photo shoot provided by Barbspencerphotography.com...

So what'd I miss? What is one thing that babies do that you are thankful you don't have to do?