Warning: The following post is about High Maintenance Friends. A high maintenance friend is different than a socially awkward acquaintance, an annoying neighbor, or a person that you just don't like. They are a friend, but they require a lot of maintenance. Do not wonder if this post was written about you. Rob wrote it for all people to think about. If you wonder out loud and then ask Rob if you are a High Maintenance friend then you are being high maintenance. And yes sometimes Rob writes in the third person. This whole post is designed to be fun and make all of us think at the same time.
Do you have a high maintenance friend or two? Sure you do, we all do. Now the thing about high maintenance friends is that most of the time they don't know that they are high maintenance. I've come to this conclusion because if they did I believe they would stop being so high maintenance. Now from time to time everyone of us become a little high maintenance, but there are some people that seem to never learn. I think they don't learn because we (the friend) are afraid to hurt their feelings. We don't tell them how we really feel and so they continue to live their life being high maintenance to you. That's got me thinking...am I high maintenance? I know I have been from time to time, but am I continually a drain on my friends? To help with this question I've developed a little quiz. Take it to see how high maintenance you are.
1. How do you feel when your friends hang out with someone else and you are not included?
a. I love it! I'm glad my friends have other friends because I do too.
b. I get a little jealous but I don't say anything.
c. I get jealous and I call my friend to let them know they hurt my feelings.
d. I plot out ways to get the other friend out of the picture. I'm not above blackmail.
2. Would your friends say you are...
a. Easy going and know how to take a joke.
b. Pretty sensitive, but can still laugh at myself.
c. Very sensitive and over analytical.
d. I'm always worried about what people say or how they are going to perceive what I said.
3. When do you call your friends?
a. Whenever you think about them and for any reason.
b. Mostly when you need something.
c. You don't call your friends. You wait until they contact you.
d. You don't call your friends and you don't call them back when they call you.
4. When you talk to your friends...
b. Talk and listen about the same
c. Talk more than you listen
d. Talk more than you listen and interrupt when your friends try to talk
5. In the past week approximately how much have you complained?
a. 0-5 times
b. 5- 10 times
c. 10 -15 times
d. There is nothing positive. Everything deserves to be complained about.
6. When someone gives you a compliment you respond by...
a. Saying thank you.
b. Deflecting the compliment by complimenting them. For example "Your pretty." "No, I'm not. Your way prettier."
c. Nobody gives you compliments so you ask for them by putting yourself down. For example "I'm not pretty." At this point your friend feels the pressure to say something nice about you to build your self esteem. Normally resulting in half hearted compliments about how great your personality is or how pretty your hair looks.
d. Nobody gives you compliments so you make fun of others and put others down. Nobody is safe from your wrath.
7. When your feelings are hurt by your friend you...
a. Wait for the right time to talk to them about it. Your goal though is to communicate not win a fight.
b. Don't say anything because you don't like conflict. Thus you hold onto some hurt for periods of time.
c. Confront them. It doesn't matter when or how. They need to hear what they did.
d. Talk crap behind their back and then pretend everything is OK.
8. Your friends would say the following about you...
a. You encourage them and help them find the good in things.
b. You encourage more than you put down.
c. You put down more than you encourage.
d. You don't put down, you tell it like it is and the truth is everybody is stupid.
9. In the last year you have...
a. Invited yourself over to a friends house or to a function with friends.
b. Think you have received a pity invite because your friends were afraid to hurt your feelings.
c. Had a friendship end because of conflict.
d. All of the above.
10. When a group hangs out does something I don't want to do I...
a. Do it anyway because I love hanging out with my friends.
b. Go, but don't participate because you don't want to do what they are doing.
c. Go and make everyone feel bad for not doing what I want to do.
d. Refuse to go!
11. When a friend gives you a gift you...
a. Thank them no matter what the gift because you are grateful they thought of you.
b. Lie to them and pretend to like it, but talk crap about the gift behind their back.
c. Tell them straight up you don't like the gift. You think they should know what to get you.
d. Throw the gift back at their face.
12. When you call a friend just to talk and they don't answer you...
a. Leave a message and wait for them to call you back.
b. Call again in 5 minutes.
c. Call every number you have for them until you reach them.
d. Call every number you have for them and leave multiple messages circa Jim Carey in the Cable Guy.
13. You ask a friend to go to a party with you. When they say no because of a prior engagement you say...
a. I understand, maybe next time.
b. Cancel your plans and come with me!
c. What the ____! (And then you pout and make them feel bad).
d. I hate you and everything you stand for.
14. On a road trip your friends would say...
a. That was fun let's do it again!
b. That was fun, but we need a little time away from each other.
c. Never again!
d. I hate you and we are never speaking again!
15. When it comes to being on time...
a. I'm right on time.
b. I like to be early to everything...the earlier the better.
c. I'm never on time and I make everyone wait on me.
d. Sometimes b and sometimes c, but I don't call to let anyone know I just show up.
Score: a = 1 point, b = 5 points c = 10 points d= 15 points
Add up your score.
If you scored 15 to 50 points - You are low on the high maintenance scale. You're probably laid back and your friends like having you around. Expect a lot of calls from really attractive people.
If you scored 55 to 75 points - You are pretty laid back, but at times your maintenance runs high. Avoid people when you are tired, hungry, or in a bad mood.
If you scored 80 to 150 points - You are HIGH MAINTENANCE!!!! Your friends like you, but talk about you behind your back. Every once in a while they forget about your high maintenance ways and invite you on a trip. Don't get excited. After 25.5 minutes of the trip they are praying to God that your head spontaneously explodes. There are still times where your friends like you but after long periods of exposure to you they feel drained and exhausted.
If you scored 155 + points - I'm proud of you for being this honest, but WOW. If you scored this high then your high maintenance levels are off the chart. You are everything the 80 to 150 point section is on crack.
nice. You spent a lot of time on this.
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