Awesomely Bad Movies: Return

Three years ago I started this blog and each year I have featured a post entitled Awesomely Bad Movies. To check out year one click here. Year two click here. And finally year three click here.

Awesomely Bad Movie = a movie that you love but when you show it your friends they are like, "do what?" It's a movie that you could watch over and over but your spouse wants to burn. It's a movie that when you tell people it's good they question all the choices you have ever made in this life. It's hard to admit that a film that you like is Awesomely Bad, but we all have them.

This year I decided to step things up and let some wicked awesome blogging supper ninjas step up to the plate and pitch their Awesomely Bad movie. Here's where you come in. Read each post, check out the authors blog, and then vote at the bottom for the most Awesomely Bad movie from the list. Voting ends at midnight tonight. Let the fun begin...

Rat Race - pitched by Ricky Anderson

I love Rat Race.

It's a loose remake of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, which I grew up watching.
Both are gems.
I laughed so hard in the theater the first time I saw it that I couldn't sit up straight.
My wife and her friend were chatting and giving me strange looks, having given up on the film ten minutes after the opening credits. John Cleese, Seth Green and Rowan Atkinson steal the show. I own this movie, but nobody is ever willing to watch it with me. I guess that makes it Awesomely Bad.
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Weekend At Bernie's - pitched by Matt Cannon

Do you remember the episode of Friends where Joey reveals a secret concerning Rachel’s favorite movie? You probably don’t, but I do. This is mainly because I am a nerd whose social life resembled that of a Franciscan Monk for much of the show’s run.
In the episode, Rachel claims that her favorite movie is Dangerous Liaisons, but Joey reveals the truth: her favorite movie is really Weekend at Bernie’s. This marked the 2nd thing that Rachel and I had in common. The first? We both made certain hairstyles popular—she had “The Rachel” featured at salons everywhere and I had “The Big Ugly” featured at Rocky Top Barber Shop.

Rachel was embarrassed by her love for the most awesomely bad movie of all time. Maybe you are, too.

Maybe you don’t want to admit that you view the combination of Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman as the comedic equivalent of pimento loaf and cheese. Maybe you don’t want anyone to know that you believed Terry Kiser’s ability to literally play dead should have garnered him an Oscar. Or that after seeing his performance you and your cousin tried to replicate his mannerisms for the rest of the summer.
It’s possible that you were never a nerd or that you have since moved way past your nerdy stage. If so—congratulations! I’m happy for you. In fact, I may even join you someday. But if I do, I hope to never forget that during the summer of 1989 I first watched a movie that made me want to spend a weekend at the beach with my best friend and a dead guy.

It’s good to have a goal; Weekend at Bernie’s gave me one. That is why it gets my vote as the most awesomely bad movie of all time.
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Clean Slate - pitched by Clay Morgan

Clean Slate is one of the funniest comedies from the 90s. Many people don't remember the Dana Carvey laugher which is ironic since his character suffers from a form of amnesia that causes him to lose his memory every morning. Siskel called it dismal, but what does he know. Ebert liked it. Even Siskel admitted that the eye-patch dog with depth perception issues was funny.

Another memorable scene takes place when Carvey runs on stage during a chase and is thrust into the role of keynote speaker. Pointer in hand he "describes" his recent archaeological dig by retracing the team's steps. I've mimicked that scene many times in my classrooms and no one ever gets it. And the courtroom scene is hilarious!

The cast is no joke with Kevin Pollak and James Earl Jones in supporting roles, not to mention Valeria Golino who I may have been mildly obsessed with during high school. To this day I can't even speak to women who are half Italian-half Greek for fear of being melted by their accent. Yeah, Dana Carvey totally rocked the 90s.

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Kung Pow - pitched by Tyler Tarver

Kung Pow (2002): Enter the Fist is the greatest worst movie ever for the sole reason it is not bad at all. It is a plethora of comedic genius with a dash of charm and action with a clump of awesome.

It tells the story of a Chosen One, who is hunted all his life because he has been given a gift of being unparalleled in his martial arts ability. Action? Why yes, it has that too.

How was he marked? Tonguey, a little face that can talk that is located on his tongue, obviously. Comedic gold, yeah, we've struck it.

The thing that made this movie over the top like Stallone was the numerous amount of reusable situational catchphrases. My entire senior year of high school was comprised of nothing but these. English? Nah, Kung Powenese.

If I had a dollar for every time my friends and I would see each other at the end of the hall and yell "CHOSEN ONE" and the other'd respond "I'M COMING!", I'd only have around 47 dollars, but if I would've invested in Apple then, it'd be worth quite a bit.

Evil Betty? Can you think of a better full movie joke lead in to the introduction of a final fight sequence to the turn of Black Betty? No, I didn't think so scrub, you're just a guy who thinks he's fine oh no.

This movie can not be bad because it is good. Logic? Yes, and fact. If you can sit through this whole movie and never laugh then don't bother coming over to my house in the morning ever for French toast and scrambled eggs and bacon.

The only reason people might think it's bad is because of the CGI cow fight sequence, a CGI can make or break a film, luckily this film was too great to be broken, like the unbreakable Egg, or like, something that's not an egg.

So, I have one final thing to say to all you who want to make a mission of tearing down the epic masterpiece of humor and art and wonder and comedy and art: "You'll never make it. Never make it. Never make it. Never make it, never. Don't you see you can't make it?"