How Would the A-Team Handle the National Debt?: A Guest Post By Burrill Strong

Burrill Strong and I met on the world wide web. We were introduced by Ricky Anderson. He has since become one of the top commentors at robshep.com and one of the best Twitter followers. Check him out on Twitter. You won't regret it.
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Of all the important questions we should be asking right now, this is one that seems to have been forgotten. But thanks to my years of painstaking research (read: hours of watching episodes of the A-Team), that’s an easy question to answer.  If asked to take care of the national debt, the A-Team would:

1.)Thoroughly screen the potential client.
Who would be the client? All of us U.S. citizens, I suppose. One of us would have to talk to Mr. Lee and a few other Hannibal Smith disguises to prove that we’re not affiliated with or being followed by Col. Lynch. The A-Team is careful about its clients.

2)Drive to Washington and immediately taunt the debt.
This taunting likely would end in a brawl. Face would get punched in the face a few times, but in the end B.A. would throw the debt and its henchmen over a bar or out a window, leaving them humiliated, angry and vowing revenge.

3)Devise a crazy plan to vanquish the debt for good.
Everybody knows nothing gets Hannibal on the jazz like debt. This outlandish debtconquering plan would involve a few explosions and hundreds of bullets, none of which would injure a person but several of which would flatten tires. It would also include at least one spectacular car flip. But don’t worry: when the A-Team flips a car, nobody gets hurt.

4)Have its plan thwarted and end up captured by the debt.
However, like so many other villains the A-Team has encountered, the debt would make the mistake of locking the team up in a barn, shed or garage with an old vehicle of some sort, plenty of sheet metal and a wide variety of objects that could be transformed into weapons. Naturally, this project would involve B.A. welding something. He always welds something. Maybe in this case he’d weld a federal budget.

5)Use its homemade weaponized federal budget to thwart the debt.
There would be copious amounts of gunfire from the debt and its henchmen; there would also be plenty of explosions from the A-Team’s homemade weapons. Another vehicle or two would flip, and eventually the debt would take a swing at Hannibal. But Hannibal would duck the punch and lay out the debt with a solid punch of his own.  That might not have been Hannibal’s original plan, but it would all come together anyway. And remember: Hannibal loves it when a plan comes together.

6)Leave the debt and its henchmen locked up for Col. Lynch.
Having brought down another villain, the A-Team would speed off in its iconic van just before Lynch arrives, leaving him to arrest the debt while fuming at yet another infuriating escape by Hannibal, Face, B.A. and Murdock.

In summary:
The A-Team’s method for conquering debt is shockingly similar to that of Dave Ramsey, give or take a few explosions and automatic weapons. (But Dave Ramsey definitely would punch debt in the face.) And we could be confident that the A-Team would have the problem solved in approximately 45 minutes...unless we had to endure commercial breaks, in which case they’d have the problem solved in an hour. Either way, that’s admirable efficiency.

I’m ready to hire the A-Team. Who’s with me?