Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Maiden Name Debate

Last night at dinner I was talking with some friends who said that most women replace their middle name with their maiden name when they get married. I knew some women did this but I didn't think it was the norm. I was quickly crucified by my comments. The four people I was with said that every girl does it and it's definitely the norm.

I didn't argue because I was out numbered. When I got home that night I asked my wife and she said she didn't think it was the norm. She didn't do it and most of her friends didn't do it either. Later that night my friend DP stopped by and I asked him. He said it definitely wasn't the norm.

Let the fun begin. What do you think? Which one is the norm?

29 comments:

  1. I'm not sure how you define the norm. I know more people who kept their middle names, but I know a few that changed it to their maiden name. I kept my middle name.

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  2. Kiefer head-butted a fashion designer and broke the guys nose. Maybe he got arrested? You can't write this stuff!

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  3. What Nik??? I know only one person who has kept her maiden name as her middle name, and she is in her 40's. I know of nobody else, personally. I know that if I had done it, Moore Peters does not make a good name.

    Oh, but my sister gave her son our maiden name for his middle name. Kind of like many Hispanic Cultures do.

    But to sum up my long comment, not the norm.

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  4. Sorry, I commented to the wrong topic before. That was for the Brain Dump topic earlier about who got arrested from '24'. Thats gonna keep things interesting. Anyway, not the norm. My beautiful wife kept her middle name. Allison is much prettier than Galbraith.

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  5. my wife changed her middle name, keeping her maiden...don't know that it means anything as I know people that kept all of them and now have 4 names...wish i could have seen the crucifiction as i have only seen them in movies...hands or wrists?

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  6. Well I think that maybe it's more the norm in our parents generation. When I got home I talked to my mom and both grandmothers and they have their maiden name as their middle one. I think it also might be regional and more normal in the south. My grandmother told me it was "the legal way to do things" but she is kinda crazy. Let's just call it 50/50.

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  7. oh and it was not a crucifiction

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  8. When I was considering a name for our first child, a friend advised me not to bother giving a middle name to a girl because she would probably change it to our family name once she married. That's sort of a nice tradition, but I gave our daughter a middle name and she has kept it, even though she is married. I think it is simply a matter of choice. Who knows what the "norm" is in today's independent, diversified culture.

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  9. Being that I have a double name, *Austin-Lee*, I dropped my maiden name -which wasn't the most glamorous sounding of names anyway haha- and just kept my middle name, since I kinda need it. Too bad my dad STILL can't remember what my new last name is 4 years later...:)

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  10. Danielle, Moore Peters makes me giggle every time I hear it. Funny stuff.

    Nik, thanks for the update and the update to the update to let me know the update was on the wrong page.

    Mon - I love you.

    Brian, as Cout mentioned it was not a true crucifiction...but people passionate. One person even bet me I was wrong.

    Court, whatev. I was left all alone and ganged up on by four people.

    Mim, I used our family as an example to make my case.

    Austin-Lee, what is your middle name?

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  11. Ok, so I don't hear a single person here that says it's the case Court. You say your mom and your grandma, maybe it's in your family?

    DO you personally know anyone who's done this? I don't. I heard Brian's wife did, but I don't think I ever met her.

    NOT the norm anymore and definitely not 50/50... I thought you were a math person? Let me know when you come up with someone. Oh wait, cause Carlyn wants to be Henry Menser... ha. She should rethink too.

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  12. I took my maiden name as my middle name, one daughter kept her middle name and dropped the maiden name -- the other dropped her middle and kept the maiden -- now she is divorced and got back both her middle name and her maiden name. I could go on and on. So, whatever floats your boat. That would be the norm.

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  13. Ok Dan I think you need to simmer down and stop blasting me on the board. This is a form of cyber bullying which I learned about in a professional delevopement class so do I need to take some action. Think about it. You don't want to mess with this.

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  14. Dropped my maiden name and kept middle. I dont know anyone my age that kept their maiden name.

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  15. I kept my middle name. I am Bethany Rebekah Poteat. I would like to use my maiden name if I have a son. It is Emerson.

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  16. Nicole Crayton ShepherdMay 6, 2009 at 5:30 PM

    I dropped my middle name and kept my maiden name. I kept my maiden name because there aren't any boys in my family to carry on the family name. We have discussed using Crayton in a kids name in the future like Danielle said her sister did. However, I am one of the few people in our generation that I know of that has done this.

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  17. WOW! So many comments!
    I'll just go on record as saying I kept my middle name. I was named after my dad's mother, and I wanted to hold onto that more than my last name. Plus I thought the last name as a middle name just sounds weird.

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  18. Good reason to make the change, Nicole.

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  19. My wife kept her middle name AND her maiden name. Jessica Michelle Walker. I was slightly offended that she did not want to take my last name. She's not really women's lib, but kind of.

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  20. Take your action Court, I'm practicing freedom of speach, I know my rights.

    I think you got up to about 25% of the people that posted here (or people that know or are realated to people) based on my comment, you should be thankful I bolstered your case.

    I state all my thoughts more passionately than I really feel. Doesn't matter to me either way. It's not you, you're just the one who insisted on quantifying a false statement about what's the modern norm. OTHER than Nicole, I don't know of anyone... it was a good reason Nicole.

    I just did a search, apparently it's fairly common in the South... I am from the North.

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  21. I AM GOING TO BE CARLYN HENRY MENSER IN 15 DAYS AND I DONT CARE WHAT YOU PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY ABOUT IT. I was going to hyphenate but that didn't seem to go well. I need to keep Henry because all of my starring roles have been under Henry what if I lose my fan base.

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  22. that's funny Carlyn, I like hyphenating myself. What middle name are you losing?

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  23. I think keeping your maiden name is a southern thing, that's what I have grown up thinking. My mom dropped her middle name and kept the maiden name.
    I have thought about this before. I would like to keep my maiden name and drop the middle name because I like the reputation it has in my "Mennonite" circle. But Brenneman is long and not a good middle name.
    But I don't have to make that decision yet!

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  24. I don't know what the norm is. I'm from the south and could not wait to get rid of my maiden name because I hated it. But then I would have been messed up if I dropped my middle name because that is the name that I actually go by. So, I kept my first and middle name and dropped my maiden name.

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  25. With a maiden name like Pavlischek....I was glad to leave it behind and replace it with Caskie. My thinking is, my dad has 2 sons to carry on the last name....he doesn't need me :)
    On a side note, we are expecting in October. If we have a boy, we are thinking of naming him Lincoln Myers Caskie. Lincoln is Dan's mom's maiden name and Myers is my mom's maiden name.

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  26. I dropped my maiden name because Toni Montgomery Gonzales seems like a mouth full. Tab, however, kept her maiden name- Tabitha Montgomery Hodges. I was named after my uncle (Tony/i) and dad (Ray/e) so I figured either way, I was dropping my dad's name so I went with the one that sounded better. Toni Rae Gonzales is much easier to say! I do think it is becoming more popular to drop the maiden name. The norm WAS to drop the middle name. Al and KK Gilbert didn't give ANY of their girls middle names so that when they were married, they would then keep their maiden name as their middle name.

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  27. I am Carlyn Meredith Henry now........ Dan

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  28. I know this was posted months ago, but I recently got married and a friend of mine thought it odd that I'm not using my maiden name as my middle name. Honestly I had never heard of that before I moved to the south, I'm from the north. So, I definitely think it's a regional thing. I did some research to make sure I wasn't completely out of it and it led me here... I'm looking forward to confidently using my new last name, while keeping my middle name!

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  29. April, it's not weird. My wife didn't use her's and she has a bad middle name (in her opinion it's bad...not mine). Thanks for stopping by the blog.

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