I'm at Student Camp with 120 high school and middle school students. While I'm away I asked some of my friends to guest post. Dan Peters is one of my closest friends, an occassional reader of robshep.com, and a ninja realitor. Dan has said something about me for a while now. I hope you think it's as funny as I do.
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I’ve known Robshep beyond the blog world for quite some time. Although I enjoy his friendship and his blog greatly, I have come to the conclusion that he’s a vampire. He’s my only vampire friend. It might seem like a bold and somewhat shocking statement, but let me explain what has led me to this realization.
He keeps his house colder than any warm-blooded human ever would. Seriously. I can often see my breath when I’m over there and if he opens the door to his bedroom, you swear he’s opening up a walk-in refrigerator. I think I may have seen him pull hamburger out of his dresser drawer for a bbq one time… actually I think that was a dream, but I did hear Monica, his wife, wears a snow suit to bed.
If you’ve ever been to his house, you’ll note that the blinds are always shut. ALWAYS. He has a great view of the woods outside his living room window with deer and everything, yet the light is kept out at all costs. Monica loves the beach, Rob despises it… it’s the light. There’s a reason why one of Rob’s favorite things in the world is watching movies.
He posts blogs at crazy times… like 3:30 AM… I think that means he doesn’t sleep at night.
Rob is very pale, his hair is very dark with a bit of a widows peak and his eyes are piercingly blue. If I were to make up a description of a vampire, it would be him.
His wife loves Vampire movies, books, and TV shows. His wife loves him. Coincidence? I think not.
He has some pretty sharp incisors (teeth, the "vampire" ones)… it’s an odd thing to notice, but I have. Taken alone, I wouldn’t say it means anything, my wife has the same sharp teeth, but when combined with the other evidence, it’s tough to ignore.
Have you noticed anything vampire like about Robshep? Has he ever tried to suck your blood? Do you eat garlic before you go to his house? I do, that’s why I’m asking.
I think you've got a point Dan
ReplyDeleteLove the humor Dan and thanks for the insight into Robshep, my former new friend. :)
ReplyDeleteWow, I can't believe that I never put the pieces together before. It all makes so much sense. Now I know I have a box of wooden stakes around here somewhere ...
ReplyDeleteOur house is absolutely freezing! I think it's a fantastic concept & a funny blog. Hope he turns me soon before I get old!!
ReplyDeleteDid you know that Rob's middle name is Edward?
ReplyDeleteJust sayin'.
At least he's not sparkly. Then he'd be a Twilight vampire, and I'd have to ban myself from reading his blog.
ReplyDeleteThanks. Just be sure to watch him around children.
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't often take off his shirt... even at the beach...
ReplyDeleteOh Snap! I thought I could defend robshep.com because of his profession, ya' know, being a pastor and all, but turns out he works at a church that doesn't display any crosses and worships in a dark and windowless room, looks like you're on to something Dan.
ReplyDeleteThis just made me think of all the things Rob, um, sucks at.
ReplyDeleteHe sucks at forgetting to post at least once in a while. It makes the rest of us look bad.
He sucks at losing competitions.
He sucks at being a bad dad and a horrible husband.
Oh my gosh Dan-that was hysterical. I will be WAY more cautious around Rob now.
ReplyDeleteWe have these things in common bro!
ReplyDeleteThat's funny... a vampire! Bahahaha.
//TC//
at community group robshep used to make "Bangarang Koolaid" it is red in color and delicious in taste. I feel like this could of been robshep's way of gradually turning all of his students into blood drinking vampires like himself.
ReplyDelete