So I had my yearly dentist checkup this week. My gums ended up bloody and I was told to floss, but I am holding on to 32 1/2 years with no cavities.
This dentist appointment actually snuck up on me. I normally start my going to the dentist routine a week or two before my visit. This routine includes things that I don't do on a normal basis. Things like flossing. My thought is that I can trick the dentist into thinking that I take care of my teeth. If I floss two times a day for a week I can get the bleed out and my gums and teeth will look good before the dentist sees it. Why do I do this? Maybe it's because I want the dentist to think that I am better then I really am.
I think most people admit that they are not perfect and yet most people also pretend to be.
What would people think if they knew your secret sins? How would your boss respond if he saw how you spent every second of your day? What would your spouse think if they could read your mind? What would your friends think if they saw everything you looked at online? Our reputations would be destroyed if people found out about the sins we hide, so we hide our secret lives and pretend to be perfect. We work really hard for a few weeks in order to fool our dentist that we are better then we really are.
I'm not sure that we are supposed to live this way. I don't think that we need to have full disclosure with every human being, but we should have it with someone. For example I don't think you need to tell the mailman about your addiction. I don't think it would be beneficial to announce on Facebook your secret sin. It's probably not a good idea to confess your sins to your boss. It would be silly to tell your waitress that you don't floss. At the same time we need someone who we can confess to.
We need someone who sees the real us and doesn't judge. We don't seek this type of relationship out for two reasons...
A. We enjoy our secret sin too much. If we really wanted to change we would. Sure you probably hate how you feel after your secret sin, but you'd rather pretend to not struggle then confess it to someone. If you confess it then you might actually have to change.
B. We are afraid that someone might actually see our imperfection.
The downside to pretending to be perfect is that you never change. Sure someone might judge you, but even if you were perfect someone would crucify you. Whether it's Weight Watchers, Alcohol Anonymous, or group counseling people who need help do it with others. Sure you confess it to God, but God uses other people to help you beat your secret struggle. Is there a Flossing Anonymous? I think I might need to find this group.
Do you think it's possible to have full disclosure with another human being and would it really make a difference?
Man this is the kind of straightforward, punch you in the face, type of blog that is your trademark. I love how you show yourself instead of hiding. I have never had full disclosure with anyone ever in my life. Not putting up airs or puffing up with pride, just hiding the crap that brings shame.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has shameful secrets. Not always of their doing. Sometimes people feel that if they told someone every one of those, that they would think less of them. A tool of the enemy. Keeping secrets. The enemy loves it when we do that.
ReplyDeleteGreat post Rob! Very true. (I did laugh about the flossing, though, because I do the exact same thing. I have never had a cavity, but still try and impress the dentist with my two weeks of flossing before I go)
ReplyDeleteI think that it is possible (to an extent--there are things you may forget completely or forget to mention) and I think that it is/can be beneficial. However, we must be careful who to bare all to. Some will use it to manipulate, others to scorn.
ReplyDeleteI like how Steven Covey broke it down years ago. We have a public persona that everyone sees, a private persona that our friends and family get, and then the secret us that no one sees. Well, no one on this planet.
ReplyDeleteHey Rob, I got you in for The Dark Knight on the new bracket! Details on yesterday's post. Thanks for offering great suggestions. Should be fun.