- Changing diapers. I talk about poop. Talking about poop is funny. Cleaning it up on the other hand is gag nasty. I'm scared to clean the poop.
- Not having alone time. I'm a people person, but I need a little bit of alone time. I recharge with alone time. Kids don't allow you to have alone time.
- Being tired. I don't do well without sleep. I get cranky. I get really cranky and then I get sick.
- Jacking my kid up. Every kid has a wound created by their parents, but I'm scared to create one in my kid.
- Kids music and TV. I tried to watch Yo Gabba Gabba and I wanted to punch myself in the throat. I don't know how parents put up with things like Barney, Hannah, and the Wiggles. I'd rather pretend that TV wasn't invented then watch those shows.
- I can't say no to my wife because I love her. I'm scared that I will spoil my kids, and that I won't be able to discipline them because I want them to love me back. I know it's wrong, but I'm scared I won't be strong.
- Having girls. I don't know how to deal with girls. I was a little boy once so I feel confident that I will be able to relate to a boy. Sports, action figures, and super heroes are all things I can relate to. Dress up, dolls, and tea parties scare me to death.
- Having multiple kids at once. I would like to have multiple kids, but I'm scared to have them all at once. If we do have multiples I would like to have my own reality TV show called "What the Flock!" My last name is Shepherd so having a flock of kids would fit the title of the show right?
- Multiple girls at once. Monica keeps talking about having girl triplets. No offense girls, but girls are drama. I don't know what I'd do with three baby girls. When Monica asked me what we would name the third, because we only have two girl names picked out, I responded with we don't have to come up with a third name because we can just let the adoptive parents name the third one. It was a joke...but not really. I'm scared of girl triplets.
- Having an ugly baby. Despite what people say about all babies being cute...it's a lie.
- Being spit up on. I'm scared of the spit up.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
I'm Scared To Be A Dad
This is a HUGE week for my wife, Monica, and me. This is our final week of IVF. If all goes well we will be pregnant in two weeks. I want kids, so what I'm about to say may seem contradictory to that statement. I'm scared to death to have kids. To quote the movie "Batman Begins" "We always fear what we don't know." I don't know kids. I know babies even less. I want kids, but the following are some things that I'm scared about...
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O.K. this post makes a couple of things super clear to me. 1). You are a loving and caring husband. 2). You will be a great dad if you and M are so blessed. 3). You will do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. These are not just idle observations. I have observed you long enough to get a sense of these things.
ReplyDeleteBut, one question. What if M becomes the next octo-mom?
i wil say this...it was the scariest most exciting time in my life...and you will do fine rob....
ReplyDeleteDaniel, if that's the case we are def having our own reality show called What the Flock.
ReplyDeleteHey Rob,
ReplyDeleteNothing to do with your post but to answer your question this past year we decided to take the kids to M-FUGE which is through Lifeway (and yet surprisingly, it was good!) It is a mission/camp all in one and was one of the most amazing experiences. I loved it because they got a worship band, and speaker, and skits and drama and games and fun just like camp...but they spent 6 plus hours a day on mission meeting real needs of people, spreading the Gospel in inner-city settings! I believe that is the track I am on with the youth for the foreseeable future. I want them to do more than just camp...
P.S. For what it's worth, I think you WILL be an awesome Dad!
-Brian
I could write a book to all your fears...it truly is an adventure every second (though for the 1st 4 months all the seconds run together!) The 2 biggest things Jesus uses us to realize our desperate need for Him, marriage and being a daddy...I can't wait for yall to be parents! you will be great! Concerning poop: the first few days it looks like tar (called meconium) but my advice for however long you are cleaning up poop, just breathe through your mouth (I've changed thousands of diapers like this...makes it tolerable)...by the way I suggest that you DO change THOUSANDS of diapers (will make Monica appreciate you even more)
ReplyDeleteNo one is ever really prepared ...no matter what they say, every experience is different.
ReplyDelete1) Diapers are minor in the grand scheme of things. We live in a world where you can dispose quickly you will learn to do it fast as lightning so it won't be your turn next time. You will absolutely love diapers when they start potty training because it was so much easier than taking them to a nasty nasty public restroom ...remember your fear of camping bathrooms well with kids its magnified by 10 ...you will love diapers then.
2) You will find alone time, you will learn to sleep with one eye open. You will learn that sometimes alone time is over-rated.
3) It just happens and when it does you will suddenly become superman.
4) You can hate all the shows you want but when that little baby who has been upset for hours suddenly starts coo-ing or laughing at bright colors and sounds ...you will put a wig and a orange jumpsuit on and become the number #1 fan of yo gabba gabba. Sorry Rob Lakers will not bring a smile to a unhappy baby :(
5) Disciple comes naturally ...babies its hard because they know nothing of consequences. You have a hard times saying no but when he or she is sticking her finger in a socket you thought you protected you will learn to say in a stern voice NO!
6) I don't have girls but what I do know is this ....they mature faster than boys and they problems you are worried about with girls will be honing you into the dad that protects them as the guys come over in their camaros in about the year 2026.
Love the idea of your future show and I expect to see it in HD on WEC multisite casting :P
Well, your baby will be beautiful to you, even if not beautiful to anyone else. Also, many not so pretty babies turn into gorgeous grown ups, and adorable babies and toddlers also leave me saying "what happened?" when they grow up. I'd rather have them good looking when they are older any day!
ReplyDeleteI'm excited you for you both!
ReplyDeleteLove all the fears!! hahaa... once you have YOUR baby in YOUR arms... the "fears" change!
I'm still chuckling about the fear of poop and spit-up! I've been soo covered in both of those at some point since being a parent... sure it's gross, but at least the source is cute;) And it can totally be washed off;)
Too funny! You'll be the best daddy ever! I love you & I am super excited!
ReplyDeleteBeing a parent is ridiculous. In the best way. You will find yourself doing things that you never thought possible. Like cleaning up puke and picking boogers. But for some reason, when it's YOUR baby, it's not so gross. The tired thing is the worst thing for me...I need a lot of sleep. But you get through it...especially if you work together. And don't worry...your baby could look like a basset hound and you will think he or she is the next Gerber baby. God did that on purpose I'm sure...so we don't leave the hospital screaming. ;)
ReplyDeleteI love this post. And I am a big mush, it made me cry. I have always thought your baby would be a boy. But I am ALWAYS WRONG! So... sorry about that... girls are drama, that is for sure! Believe me, I know! But it is amazingly sweet drama that will drive you to tears and to laughs all at the same time! I am praying and hoping for you and Monica! You will be great! God gives you what you need to make it through! Love you guys! And I don't have cable but I would totally get it so I could DVR "What the Flock?" I can hardly wait!
ReplyDeleteA little fear is a good thing. Pity the parent who has not taken time to count the cost. Reality is often more tolerable than the extent of one's fears. Having had a Dad gives you an edge. Being happily married gives you another edge. Working with youth is great preparation. "Don't sweat the small stuff".
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for the comments!
ReplyDelete