I need to see a professional counselor.
I'm a pretty laid back guy. I don't lose my temper very easily. I get along well with people. I feel like I have a rational mind.
All of that changes when I fall asleep. When I fall asleep I become a totally different person. Last week I fell asleep on the couch watching TV. My wife (Monica) gently tried to wake me up multiple times. Each time she tried to wake me I responded like an angry drunk. I don't remember any of it, but according to her I snapped at her and yelled "leave me alone." I've never yelled at my wife. I respect her way to much.
A few weeks ago I started yelling in my sleep "GET OUT", "YOU DON'T BELONG HERE!." It woke Monica straight up and she jumped out of bed and started walking out of the room. In her sleepy state she panicked because she thought she was in the wrong bed. Once she opened the bedroom door she realized that she was at her house, and I had just gone crazy again.
I'm not a real fearful person. I don't scare easily. Yet there are many mornings when Monica tells me that during the night I sat straight up in the bed and in a panic said, "whose there...whoooose there?"
One time a few years ago I had a dream that I was laying on an airport runway. A plane was about to land so in my dream I told myself to roll out of the way. It was very realistic.
So realistic I woke up on the floor rolling around back and forth.
It happens to me when I'm exhausted, but that doesn't excuse my irrational behavior. I need to see a sleep counselor. If they exist maybe they can tell me why I become a totally different person in my sleep. In my sleep I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, hallucinations, and anger. Does anyone else become crazy while they sleep?
I sometimes drool on my pillow, but this is about the craziest that I get during sleep. Well, that's not completely truthful, there was that one incident with the thumbtack, but we don't need to go into that now.
ReplyDeleteGood news for you, I am a counselor now. The professional term for your condition is wacko. Suggest laying off the movies before bed and playing Yanni while you sleep.
ReplyDeleteyowza... the worst i've ever had is the random sleep talk, or the rare loud proclamations... i can't imagine doing anything active like rolling around, or even getting up and walking around. would these moments possibly happen after being fresh off an episode of 24?
ReplyDeleteI think you need to stop drinking so much before you go to bed.or monica needs to beat you up one good time so your body knows not to mess with her.
ReplyDeleteIt's the action movies replaying in your subconscious. If I watched action thrillers, I wouldn't be able to go to sleep. You handle them well in a conscious state, but they creep up and grab you when you let down the guard in sleep. Interesting how the mind takes something we have seen or heard or felt and creatively fashions it into a dream. Dreams are fascinating.
ReplyDeleteI find it mildly amusing when I am already awake. When he wakes me up with this madness I am so confused. If he wasn't so agressive in his sleep, I would totally mess with him. He'd win.
ReplyDeletehahahaha oh man! i love those stories. thanks for sharing! :) I once unscrewed the light bulb from the lamp by my bed and threw all the pillows on the floor. I know this cause i woke up pillowless and a lightbulb sitting on my side table. WIERD!
ReplyDeleteTab is a sleep walker/talker/fighter and we have lots of amusing stories. Like once, we were spending the night at a friend's house. She walked down 3 steps because we had 3 steps in our house, they had like 12. She started screaming bloody murder. They had to wake me up to ask me what to do. Then there was the time we were sleeping in my mom and dad's waterbed at the lake. A friend, who is deaf, was sleeping between us. Tab woke up and started hitting our friend and screaming at her. Our friend couldn't hear what was going on but the hitting made it clear that something was going on with Tab in her sleep. My mom and dad used to have to put a chair in front of the door at the lake because they were afraid she would leave the house and end up IN the lake. There are tons more stories. Really, the best thing to do is get MORE rest.
ReplyDeleteshock therapy. The collars are $175and are available at any Walmart or Pet supply shop. Monica has a button that she can make beep or shock.
ReplyDeleteAfter a few shocks it should cure you, or there is a slight possiblity it could turn you into sleep Rob in real life.
why scott hasn't left a comment on THIS post yet I don't know. We will have to entertain you and Monica next time we see you by sharing our sleepy time stories. Because Scott is a night owl, he often comes to bed 30 mins-1 hour after I've already laid down. He insists on talking to me when I am in my "already asleep but not enough that I won't respond to you" state and gets requests like.... "babe, will you put your hand in the bag and turn off the light?" OR " Drew-Face (which meant "close the closet door). Yep, I'm not violent, but I am crazy!!!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nancynadolski.com/
ReplyDeleteHAHA!
You are a mad man! I don't think I have too many stories about myself... but I have a few about my friends I'll tell you sometime.
ReplyDelete--Terrace Crawford
http://www.terracecrawford.com
http://www.twitter.com/terracecrawford
Selleck woke up on Thursday morning and said, "Mommy, why did the police man open the car door and paint your lips?" I hope this isn't the beginning of inherited sleep schizophrenia from his Uncle Rob!
ReplyDelete