25 Things I'd Rather Do Than Sit In Traffic

Over the weekend I sat in traffic not once but twice while going to VA Beach. While sitting in it the second time I started thinking about other things I'd rather be doing than sitting in traffic. Here's my list...

1. Watch Twilight without Monica. I hate Twilight but I will watch it with my wife. It's awful but I'd rather watch it then sit in traffic.
2. Read Twilight books. The movies are bad but I'd always pick the movie over the book. Reading this would be awful but I'd rather read it than sit in traffic.
3. Go to the doctor. I like that we have doctors, but I hate going to them. They poke and prod you and then make you take gross medicine. I dread going to the doctor. It's awful but I'd rather go than sit in traffic.
4. Get a rash. Rashes are gross but I'd rather get one than sit in traffic (as long as it went away).
5. Take my shirt off in public. I'm not a fan of having my shirt off in public but I'd rather do that than sit in traffic.
6. Babysit a cat. I'm not a pet person. I think animals were created to be enjoyed outside and on dinner plates. No offense pet lovers. There's not much I like less than cats, but I'd rather babysit one than sit in traffic.
7. Listen to a baby cry. A crying baby is not fun, but I'd rather do that than sit in traffic.
8. Sneeze and fart at the same time. Have you ever done that? It's awful. It kind of hurts. I don't think that much force should come out of both ends of your body. It's rough but I'd rather do that than sit in traffic.
9. Eat broccoli without cheese. I like broccoli with lots of cheese. Without I'm not a fan. But I'd rather eat it than sit in traffic.
10. Watch a reality dancing show. I like reality TV but I don't like reality dancing TV. It's boring to me, but I'd rather watch it than sit in traffic.
11. Run. I hate running. I run because it helps me lose weight. At least when I run I am doing something productive. I'd rather run than sit in traffic.
12. Have a tickle fight with a stranger. I'm not a touchy feely person. To have a tickle fight with a complete stranger would be awful, but I'd rather do that than sit in traffic.
13. Smell the cheese. Who cut the cheese? I don't know but I'd rather smell it than sit in traffic.
14. Get my back waxed. I've never waxed my back but it looks painful. As long as it took less time than the time I sat in traffic this past weekend I'd rather have my back waxed than sit in traffic. 
15. Suffer through the Buffalo Wild Wings Blazin' challenge. 12 blazin wings, 6 minutes, no water, and no wiping your face in any way. It's torture but I'd rather suffer through that than sit in traffic.
16. Watch a New World. Have you seen that movie? It's like having your life move in slow motion. If I am ever told that I only have two hours to live I'm watching that movie because it will make my last two hours seem like an eternity. It's boring but I'd rather watch that than sit in traffic.
17. Wear a suit. I hate wearing a suit. I wouldn't own one if it weren't for the fact that most weddings and funerals require them. I hate dressing up in a suit but I'd rather do that than sit in traffic.
18. Change a poopy diaper. I change a lot of those these days. Some make me gag. Others make me gag violently. I'd rather change diapers forever than ever have to sit in traffic again.
19. Floss. I don't like to floss. It hurts. My gums bleed. I forget to do it until two weeks before my dentist visit. I hate flossing but I'd rather do that than sit in traffic.
20. Drink Diet Mtn. Dew. Diet Mtn. Dew shouldn't exist in my opinion. It gives the amazing beverage that is Mtn. Dew a bad name. I'd rather dink Diet Mtn. Dew than sit in traffic.
21. Watch an episode of Barney. Is Barney still around? I hope not. I don't want my kids having to suffer through that. Barney is low quality TV but I'd rather watch that than sit in traffic.
22. Go skiing. Some people like to ski. Those people are not me. I went once and I fell a lot. I don't like falling. I like trying to get up on skis even less. I'd rather go skiing than sit in traffic.
23. Root for the Celtics. Being a Lakers fan it goes against everything in me to cheer for the enemy. But I'd rather cheer for the Celtics than sit in traffic.
24. Go camping. I hate camping. Camping is not vacation. It's going backwards to a much less civilized time. Sleeping on the ground in a hot tent is awful but I'd rather do that than sit in traffic.
25. Pluck my nose hairs. It hurts to pluck a nose hair. It hurts like a mother. I'd rather pluck a nose hair than sit in traffic.

Now as I was compiling my list I Jesus Juked myself. I started thinking about why I didn't use that time to pray. Instead of complaining I could have spent the time talking to God. I hate that I wasted an opportunity to talk my creator. Maybe next time.

So what would you rather do than sit in traffic?