What If God Wired You To Be Negative: Extended Edition

I wanted to follow up on my blog post from this morning. I felt I needed to flesh out what I was talking about. 

Some people see things with a negative slant. I know multiple people who after a church service, movie, eating at a restaurant etc. will find something negative.  The problem with the negative person is not that they observe what they observe, it's that they dump their negativity on others. Negativity breads negativity. But the truth is sometimes the glass is half empty, has smudges, and the drink is gag nasty.  The truth is that what they feel is sometimes or even often right. What if the negative person (or the next time you feel negative about something) took a deep breath, found a solution to the problem, and then presented it to someone who could do something about it. If there isn't a solution then keep your thought to yourself.

When someone complains they are often looking for someone to agree with their negative view point. Most people don't want to solve a problem...they just want to complain about it. What if instead of being negative you became a part of a solution. If there is a problem and you see it find a solution and then only talk to someone who can do something about it.

My point is that some people tend to be naturally more negative then others. They should use their perspective for the good by bringing a solution to the thing they see a problem with. If they did that they'd be using their negativity for good.

What If God Wired You To Be Negative?

Some people are naturally bent towards negativity. It's not that the glass is half full or empty...it's more that the glass has smudges, and the beverage in the glass is gag nasty.  Now a negative person may spend more time devoting to all things negative, but even the most optimistic person visits negative land from time to time.

What if negativity was a God given reaction? What if a negative bent is actually the way that God wired you? What if optimistic people actually need negative people?

It's my experience that negative people often see a side of life that positive people miss. Call it a critical eye or just a gift of being critical. What they see if often right.  The problem with being negative is that it often doesn't come with any solutions. Whether you live in negativeville or just visit it from time to time try harnessing your negativity for something good. Be part of the solution instead of part of the problem.

You can either be part of the solution or you can add to the problem. It's hard to control our emotions...especially when they turn negative, but if you committed to fix the problem you'd actually be using your negativity for good.  The next time negative thoughts take over your mind find a solution to the problem.  Complaining doesn't change anything. It just spreads negativity and makes things worse.  Before you complain think of a solution and then present it to someone who can do something about it. That's they way you become part of the solution instead of part of the problem.

Back Off That Ledge

This post is not about basketball.

Last off season Lebron James and Chris Bosh joined Dwayne Wade in Miami.  A huge over reaction occurred immediately. The media went crazy, fans formed opinions, and most people crowned them the next NBA champions.  One analyst went so far as to say that they would beat Michael Jordan's Bulls record of 72 wins in a season.  Currently their record is 8 and 7 and they have lost 3 straight.  Now the analysts are on a ledge and declaring panic. The problem is that they play 82 games and we are a long ways from the playoffs. How quickly the analysts forget last year's Boston Celtics. The Celtics were not good last year during the regular season and yet they were one game (and an injury) away from winning the title.  But this post isn't really about basketball...

Most of us live out on the ledge. We panic too quickly. We rush to conclusions. We climb out the window, stand on the ledge, and threaten to jump because it's just too bad.  I've been there.

The problem is that most of the things we freak out about aren't really that big of a deal. In fact most of the things we worry about never happen. Think about it...what was the last thing you worried about? Most of the time it's hypothetical worries that consume us. What if she leaves? What if they don't like me? What if I lose my job? What if I fail? We create scenarios and then freak out about them. We create drama because we forget that the outcome hasn't been written.

Whenever I'm on the ledge it is a clear picture that my perception is out of whack. It shows that I'm overestimating my problem and underestimating my God.  I overestimate how bad things really are or will be and I underestimate an all powerful being. The God who parted the Red Sea, helped a Shepherd boy slay a Giant, and even raised the dead is the same God who can handle our situation.  What are you freaking out about? Take a deep breath and back off that ledge.

I'm hoping that the Miami Heat don't win a title. I'm a Lakers fan! At the same time I think it's too early to hit the panic button. We don't know how it's going to end. Like I said though...this is not about basketball.

Run Fat Boy Run

So yesterday I jogged in my first 5K. I had some thoughts as I huffed along...

• I was glad they posted signs that showed where to jog. I don't have a great sense of direction and I was afraid I'd end up in Williamsburg. That's about 30 miles away from the race for those of you who don't live in the 757.
• I was definitely in the top 5 fattest participants. For those of you who skim I wrote fattest and not fastest. If you count the people who walked then I might fall out of the top 5.
• I jogged with my brother. I've been training for about 2 months. He was supposed to train with me, but he only made it out once. That was two months ago. He still finished before me. I did find out that when he ran track in high school he ran a mile in 4 minutes and 30 seconds. I asked him if we do a 10K next year if he'd skip the training. He said no.
• Pretty early on in the race my brother stepped in dog poo.  I know this because he was in front of me for most of the race. Not only could I see it, but I could also smell it.
• I cramped up really bad around 1 1/2 miles. I woke up at 6:00 AM and made the poor choice to eat breakfast. I thought it would digest by race time at 8:30. I had Frosted Flakes. They're Gr-rr-reat!!!...except on race days.
• Some people take 5K's way too serious. One guy yelled at two girls to get out of his way. 
• Around the mile marker we saw people running back towards us. I told my brother that they were running the wrong way. He told me that they had already made it to the halfway mark and were running back towards the finish line.  
• Some people jog in costumes. I can't decide if those people are gifted or crazy. I sweat way too much to add a costume.
• It was a lot of fun seeing friends at the race. I ran into some high school friends, our neighbors, and some church friends.
• My wife and sister in law surprised us with a home made sign to cheer us on. I loved having their support.
• My parents also came to support us. I felt very loved by all the support.
• Lots of people asked if I was now addicted. I'm not. I enjoyed it and I hope to make this a yearly tradition, but I'm not addicted.
• My time was 32.30. That's fast for me. Here are some pics of my first 5K...



Pictured Above: My nephew Connor rock'n his bear outfit.

Pictured Above: Nicole and Connor followed by my Dad and Mom.



Pictured Above: Rob and Jon posing before the race.

Pictured Above: And we are off

Pictured Above: The former Waters Edge Intern - Thomas. He killed it.

Pictured Above: My brother Jon crossing the finish line.

Pictured Above: Rob looking really tired as he crosses the finish line.

A Special Announcement From Robshep.com

As promised I have a special announcement. The Beatles are now on iTunes and my favorite Beatles song is Help. I kid I kid. Last week Apple created some great hype when they posted on iTunes "Tomorrow is just another day...that you'll never forget." Their big new news was that the Beatles are now on iTunes. I thought it would be fun to play off all of that hoopla. I digress.

So there is a curse at the Waters Edge office. Now it's not really a curse and please don't get mad at me for calling it that. I've said for years that whenever a WEC staff member has a baby while on staff it is always a girl. Lead Pastor, Stu had a son, but then started WEC and had two girls. Worship ninja Phil had two girls while on staff. Former WEC employees Bill Sprouse and Ambre Delongchamp both had girls while working at WEC. Jake and Kristi miller got pregnant while on staff and it was a girl. I will be eternally thankful for whatever genders we get, but I would enjoy having a boy.

We are having a boy. We aren't supposed to find out until Dec. 6, but Monica (my wife) is a ninja. She talked to a friend at church and arranged a sneak preview with an ultra sound machine. Baby A was wide open. He was kicking Baby B and spreading his legs for the world to see...or at least the four of us viewing the ultrasound. Baby B was more modest. He or she wouldn't turn over so we couldn't see the gender. I guess we will have to wait until Dec. 6.

I was in such a good mood I decided to dress like a Pilgrim for Thanksgiving with my parents. We celebrated Turkey Day last night. We wanted to wait to post it online until after we told our families. We told my family last night and Monica's today at 2. I hope that you enjoy your Thanksgiving! This is one Thanksgiving that Monica and I will never forget.

Pictured Above: Rob rock'n his Chuck Taylors in a pilgrim outfit.

Pictured Above: Rob and his nephew Connor.

Pictured Above: Rob and Thanksgiving feast...at least part of the feast.

Happy Thanksgiving

Today at 4:00 PM Eastern Standard Time robshep.com will be making a special announcement. Until then enjoy the funniest Thanksgiving video in the history of Thanksgiving videos. Enjoy.

Mind Dump

My brain is constipated with random thoughts. It's time to free up some space with another mind dump...

• Tomorrow is just another day...that you'll never forget. At 4:00 PM Eastern Standard Time robshep.com will be making a special announcement.
• Tomorrow I'm jogging in my first 5K. My goal is to not come in last. In order not to come in last I'll take out a senior citizen, a kid under the age of 11, or anyone else that I can trip. 
• I'm trying to prep myself to not bolt out the gate when the gun goes off. I'm pretty competitive so I can see myself sprinting and then not finishing the race.
• A handful of people have asked what motivated me to start jogging. It all started when a friend of mine got bit by a bat. I was scared that she might get rabies, so I formed a 5K fun run to raise money for the cure of rabies. Oh wait...that's from an episode of The Office.
• The real reason that I started jogging was because of a video I saw on Tyler Stanton's blog. This video is very inspirational...
• I've been fat my whole life. I'll probably always be fat, but this video inspired me to start jogging. So far I've lost 7 lbs and as you know I'm about to jog in my first 5K. That's huge coming from a guy who believes that the only reason someone should run is if someone is chasing them. And the only reason someone should train to run is if you know in advance that someone is going to chase you.
• I had to pay $25 to jog in this race. It kind of felt like buying bottled water. I have water for free and yet I've often paid high dollar for water in a bottle. I can jog for free, but why not pay $25 to run with a bunch of people?
• Are you going shopping on Black Friday?
• If you ever see NBA 2K11 for PS3 Facebook, Twitter, Text, or leave me a message. I can't find that game anywhere. I had a gift card that I was going to use for it, but it's been sold out everywhere.
• There are not many things that I HATE in this life. I try to be a lover not a hater. I do hate lima beans, having to do something twice (like when I bend down to pick something up and it slips out of my fingers), and the thought of wearing a thong. It's not on my list yet, but PC computers are quickly gaining ground for things I hate. This post was supposed to be up by 7:45 AM, but do to massive technical difficulties it did not. Out of frustration I told Monica that from now on it will be worth it to save the extra money and buy a Mac. Uhhhh!!!!
• This week is a week to be thankful. I'm thankful for DVR, people who mow lawns for a living (if I had the money I'd never take care of a lawn again), the hair that is left on my head, and the person who came up with the phrase - righty tighty, lefty loosey. That guy has saved me a lot of time over the years.
• I love wings. I used to not like hot wings, but I'm now a fan. Where is your favorite place to get wings? I really like Quaker Steak and Lube. Maybe I can get some wings on Thanksgiving.
• Have you ever tried to sell your gold jewelery? There are a lot of commercials that make me feel like I'd become rich if I sold my high school class ring. I don't know anyone who has made any money by selling gold jewelry.
• Have you ever plucked a nose hair? It not only hurts, but it makes you sneeze like a Snuffaluffagus. You know that hairy thing from Sesame Street that looks like an elephant? I don't know how he sneezes, but I bet it's crazy. My nose hairs grow like I snort Rogaine. I have clippers but every once in a while one will slip out and I have to pluck it.

Whew...I feel much better now.

Things I'm Thankful For On This Thanksgiving

In some ways this has been a difficult year. After much prayer we decided to use IVF to try and get pregnant. This was an expensive decision. My wife and I hate debt. We have no credit card debt and we like it that way. I lost sleep thinking about the amount of debt that we'd incur through IVF. After seeking some Godly wisdom my mind was put to rest. This was the right move for us.

God blessed our decision and after six years of trying, we became pregnant on our first try with IVF. It is a miracle that Monica is pregnant. It's just as big of a miracle that we have been able to stay pregnant. Through the last 18 weeks we have had multiple scares. Hearing Monica yell out "Rob I miscarried" was an awful experience. Thankfully the babies have remained healthy and the scares have been...well, just scares.

Dealing with the ups and downs of this pregnancy led me on an emotional roller coaster. So much so that I think it was what triggered a three week struggle with depression. I sought help through a Christian counselor, and things have been great ever since.  We are so blessed that I don't want to come off as complaining about the few ups and downs that we've had.  I know that compared to some our struggles have been mild. For us though it's been the hardest year of marriage. 

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect and give thanks. As I reflect over our year I can't help but thank God for the amazing blessings that I have.  On this Thanksgiving there are some things that I'm extremely thankful for...

1. Eating large amounts of amazing food on Turkey Day. Now this isn't really any different than a typical day for me, but the difference is that over eating on Thanksgiving is expected and acceptable.
2. I'm jogging in my first 5K on Thanksgiving. I'm still not sure why they call it a 5K. I think it means 5 thousand laps. I hope it's a short track.
3. My wife is pregnant on Thanksgiving! We have to wait until Dec. 8 to find out the genders. This week Monica has been on a mission to find an ultrasound machine to find out the genders a little early. If she accomplishes her mission this will be an extra special Turkey Day.
4. My family. I love Thanksgiving because our families get together. We have a tradition where we celebrate Thanksgiving with my family on Wed. and then we celebrate with Monica's family on Thursday. It helps spread out the yummy goodness. And no matter what happens my dad will declare, "I think this has been the best Thanksgiving ever."
5. Thanksgiving = Christmas. The Christmas season officially begins on Thanksgiving. As soon as Santa appears in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade it's officially acceptable to celebrate Christmas. Christmas tees and decorations are displayed, Christmas music is played everywhere, ugly Christmas sweaters come out of the closet, I send out my Christmas list, and the holiday movie season begins. It's the most wonderful time of the year!
6. Waters Edge Church is at the best place that's it's ever been. That's saying a lot because it's always been a great place. This Thanksgiving I'm so thankful for the new staff that we've been able to hire. With their help we are taking Waters Edge to a whole notha level! I'm thankful for Cara, Carlyn, Josh, Bishop Larry T, Mr. Anderson, and Josh Fowler. Welcome to the team!
7. Noodles. Now that may sound strange and I understand that. Who has noodles for Thanksgiving? I do. It's a tradition that I think my grandma started years ago. These noodles are strands of lip smacking joy. I can't wait for the noodles.
8. Hanging out with Ruth Peters. Ruth is, my buddy, Dan's mom. She's 2 legit to quit and she's in town. We get to hang out with her on Friday.
9. Friends. I love my friends. I love having some time off so that we can hang out. Love em.
10. Catching up on movies. I'm off Tuesday - Saturday and good portion of my time will be spent watching movies. DVD's, classics, and movies in the theater. Can you dig it?!!!!

I've given you ten things I'm thankful for, and now it's your turn. What is one thing that you are thankful for this year?

Thanksgiving Porn

Do you like porn? Chances are you or someone you know does. Now they might not be proud of their love for porn, but the stats don't lie...

• 40 million Americans regularly visit porn websites.
• In the U.S. Internet porn makes 2.84 billion $'s.  It makes 10 billion total.
• 25% of all Internet searches are for porn. That's 68 million in a day. On a side note if you blog add naked, sex, or porn into a title of your blog and watch your stats rise.
• There are 116,000 searches for child pornography every day.
• 20% of men admit to watching porn at work. I bet they don't work in a cubicle.
• The average age in which a guy first sees porn online is 11 years old. That's 5th grade.
• The most popular day to watch porn is on Sunday.
• The least popular day of the year to watch porn is Thanksgiving.

Chances are those that view porn fall into a few categories. There are those who watch it and feel guilty about it. This guilt leads to isolation and depression because they can't beat this addiction.  Then there are those who watch and don't think twice about it. Except for on Thanksgiving. I think it's interesting that the least popular day to view Internet porn is on Turkey Day.

To like porn is unfair for your significant other. They can't live up to the images that you view. And I bet that you would hate it if they spent hours a day fantasizing about someone else. Fantasizing about someone who meets their needs, does whatever they want, and has bigger private parts then you.

Porn is easier to get to today then ever before. So what can we do? There are no easy answers and there are no  quick fixes. In fact most people aren't willing to get crazy enough to beat this addiction. The following are some things that I know have worked...

• Be honest with someone. Having a person who you check in with is crucial to overcoming any addiction. I know a guy who overcame a porn addiction and if he looks at porn he has to write his accountability partner a $1,000 check. 
• Never be alone. I have a friend and whenever his wife goes out of town he has a friend stay over at the house. He doesn't trust himself alone, and he's not willing to allow this addiction to win.
• Internet protection. XXX Church offers a free online accountability. You can set it up so a friend gets sent a copy of all the websites you look at online. I also have a friend that won't own a computer. He told me that you can't watch online porn if you don't have a computer. He was right.
• Seek help. This is such an easy thing to get addicted to. I have a friend who first became addicted at the age of 4. Nudie magazines were in his house and it took just a couple of looks to get him hooked. No addiction is easy to overcome. With help though all addictions are beatable. After ten years of giving into a pron addiction a friend of mine went to see a Christian counselor. It was this move that saved his marriage, ministry, and state of mind.
• Protect your man. If you are a female then protect the men in your life. Get the mail and throw away the Victoria Secret Catalog before he gets home. Oh and spill something gross in the trash so it ruins the magazine.
• Outsmart it. Read reviews of why movies are rated what they are rated. If it has nudity in it don't go see it. If a visually stimulating image pops up on the TV cover your eyes so that you won't see it. Don't believe the lie that you can handle it. Guys can't.
• If you are a parent of a boy talk to him about it and set up a means of accountability. Protect your son! I know it's awkward, but not as awkward as getting caught watching porn with your pants down by your ankles, by your parents.

Like I said there are no easy answers. The thing that stinks about this addiction is that there is such easy access. Porn comes looking for you. This post is not meant to make anyone feel bad. I know it's hard, but protecting your mind is worth it. With a lot of work everyday can be Thanksgiving when it comes to viewing porn.

Influence Shout Out

Influence: a power to affect persons or events.

Who has influenced you? I am who I am because of the influence of the following people...

• My dad and mom - my dad has influenced my love for movies and having a sense of humor. My mom has influenced my writing. She is the one who signed me up to write movie reviews for the Daily Press. I wrote for a full year while in high school. I enjoyed it so much that when I started a blog I continued writing movie reviews.
• Tripp and Tyler - I don't know Tripp and Tyler but their videos and sense of humor have had a great influence on me. They are ha-larious. Waters Edge has had a good handful of videos that were inspired by these guys. Whenever I need a little humor inspiration I watch one of their videos.
• Pat Pettit - When I was in 9th grade I met Pat. He was my Sunday School teacher and then he became my youth pastor. Pat was the first guy that when he preached I paid attention. He was engaging, passionate, and funny.
• Monica Shepherd - my wife has influenced my confidence and ability to speak my mind.
• TobyMac - I like to rap. I wouldn't lead with that in a conversation or put it on my resume, but I enjoy preforming.  I've been watching Toby in concert since I was in 6th grade. I'm not to his level by any means, but I pretend to be when I get a chance to rap on stage at Waters Edge.
• Stu Hodges - Stu is a type A personality. I'm not. His work ethic and drive have greatly influenced me.
• Rosie O'Donnel - Do you remember her daytime show? It was funny and very entertaining. There was a time in my life where I started being embarrassed about some of the things I loved. I get really excited around celebrities. I love super heroes. I still enjoy watching cartoons. It was during my first year of college that I started feeling embarrassed about things I liked. I felt like I needed to grow up. Watching how much fun she had on her show made me think that it's possible to be an adult and still enjoy things from your childhood. So in that regard she definitely influenced me.

So who influenced you? Give em a shout out in the comment section.

Toxic Thoughts

I've never been a prisoner of war.  OK I've never been in war or prison, but I have watched all of the "Rambo movies." I've also seen the Chuck Norris classics, "Missing In Action." Ok the "Missing In Action" movies are not classics, but don't tell Chuck Norris that.  Now the thing that both of these franchises have in common is that the hero spends some time as a prisoner of war. It should be mentioned that "Missing In Action" ripped off an early script (from James Cameron writer of Rambo II) of "Rambo: First Blood Part 2." Hence the exact same plot. I digress.

Now you have to be pretty BA (Bad Attitude) to capture Rambo and Chuck Norris. SPOILER ALERT: Considering that Rambo and Chuck Norris escape and then both single handily destroy most of the Vietnamese army, it's pretty impressive that they were captured.

Toxic thoughts attack like an invading army. Whether it's negative thoughts about someone else or about ourselves, toxic thoughts bombard our minds.

The language that the Bible uses to describe toxic thoughts is violent. "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." - 2 Corinthians 10:4-5.  Did you catch that? We take captive every thought. Our weapon of choice is the Bible.

In this scenario thoughts are more like Rambo or Chuck Norris. You've got to be pretty BA to capture them. The problem is even when you capture them they still keep coming. Oh and they don't stop...Rambo has made 4 movies and Chuck made 3 "Missing In Action" films. 

Practically this is what capturing thoughts should look like...

• A lustful thought attacks the mind - beat it up by quoting "If you eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away." - Matthew 18:9. Now this verse isn't being literal, but it is painting a picture of how serious we should be against sins of the eye.
• And for everything else - "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Philippians 4:8 I use this verse often. When negative thoughts attack my mind I say this out loud. I take thoughts captive by making them obey this verse.
• Oh and Philippians 4:4-7 is amazing for this. This verse promises that if we pray with thanksgiving Jesus will guard our hearts and our minds.

Fighting toxic words isn't easy. War never is. I don't know about you but I don't want to lose this war. I want to fight back with a weapon of mass destruction. Thank God for the Bible. Not even a Rambo or Chuck Norris sized toxic thought can withstand it.

My pastor did an amazing job talking about this subject on Sunday. It was like a steak from Ruth's Chris...it's so good it doesn't need any sauce. You can listen to it here.

Starving For Words

Have you seen the TV show "Undercover Boss?" It's a pretty good show. The premise is to have the owner or CEO of a major company covertly start working at their own company. In the process they see how their company is really run and they meet the little people who work for them. 

A few weeks ago one of the owners of the Chicago Cubs was on the show.  At the end of the show they reveal who they really are to the employees they work with.  I couldn't help but notice how malnourished the employees were.  They weren't lacking food. They were lacking positive words.  As the boss was praising the employees for their hard work it was evident that they hadn't heard positive words in a really long time.  They ate up his words like a fat kid on the day before fat camp. 

I can't prove this theory, but I feel like most people are starving for positive words. I once heard a pastor say "if you ever think something good say it." For some reason we think twice about saying positive words and yet we don't think twice to tear someone down. There is someone in your life and you are the only one who can feed them positive words. Like a newborn baby they can't feed themselves. It's easy to forget to give positive words to co-workers, bosses, neighbors, friends, and especially family.  The question is, who do you need to feed?

Mind Dump

It's been brewing for some time now. The following is a massive mind dump of all the random stuff going on in my head...

• Question: Do we really need a video game based off the TV show The Bachelor? I saw it the other day and I couldn't help but wonder if anyone ever bought this game.
• No Shave November is in effect. I know two people who are participating. One has really blond hair and the other is a high school student who...well it doesn't really look like he's participating. Do you know anyone?
• Next week is Thanksgiving! Love it!
• I love the TV show "Chuck." It's one of the best shows that no one is watching. What I mean by that is the ratings aren't great, but it's still a great show. Do you have a favorite show that's not real popular?
• I saw a sign that said "Slow Children At Play." Now typically the sign is read SLOW. Children at play. Most of the time the slow is written really big and the other words are underneath it. This sign was not written that way. When I read it I thought...that's not a very nice thing to say about some kids. They can't help it if they are slow. What's next "Nonathletic Children At Play." I then read the sign again and understood what it was supposed to say.
• Speaking of slow...I jogged almost 6 miles for the first time in my life. 3 thoughts...1. That's the furthest I've ever jogged. 2. Nobody was chasing me. 3. Fat guys shouldn't jog that far.
• I had heard that if you can jog 3 miles then you can do 6. I wanted to test that theory out. Apparently it's true. What they didn't tell me is that I'd be sore for more than 3 days. I feel like I'm 107 years old. I waddle when I walk. Once I get moving I'm ok, but it's getting started that hurts.
• I wish that I could do something else while I was jogging. Like if there was a way for me to blog while I jogged I'd be set. I have a lot of thoughts while jogging and I often forget them by the time I get home.
• Now that I've jogged 6 miles my next goal is to jog with Danielle Peters. She's like Forest Gump. Let me clarify: she is nothing like Forest Gump with the exception that she runs really far distances. She has run multiple marathons.
• With the holidays coming it's time for the "Winter Movie Season!" I have been slacking big time on seeing movies. I can't wait to get some theater time in the next few weeks. If you like the movie reviews at robshep.com then get ready...they are coming.
• Mr. Anderson has started his new job as the Community Group Manager at Waters Edge. I'm so thankful to have him on the team!
• Now some have asked why I call him Mr. Anderson. 2 reasons 1. The Matrix. If you haven't seen the first Matrix then you are probably one of the ones who asks that question. "Mr. Anderson" is one of those very memorable lines from that movie. 2. I give almost everyone a nickname. I don't know why, but I do. If I've given you a nickname then you know it because I'll most likely only call you by that name.
• Oh and his name is Steven Anderson.
• Mr. Anderson made his debut at Waters Edge on Sunday. You can watch it here. We did something at church that we've never done before. It's within the first 5 minutes of the service.
• If you like video games then you should help settle a debate by voting on the new survey at robshep.com.  My buddy Dan Peters claimed that nobody plays PS3. I claim that it is a superior system to the XBox 360. It comes with a blue ray player and you don't have to pay extra to get online. The PS3 is the Cadillac of gaming systems.
• This Wednesday we will be 17 weeks pregnant. There is a small chance that at our appointment on Wednesday we will be able to find out the gender. I doubt it, but there is a small chance.
• Speaking of being pregnant...my wife looks pregnant. That's a good thing because she is, but over night she started looking really pregnant. Now don't get all sensitive on me. I'm not saying my wife looks fat. She looks pregnant and that's a good thing. In fact it's a God thing. We've waited 6 years for this and we are loving it.
• It is kind of weird though seeing everyone touch her stomach.  People we don't even know walk up an rub her belly like it's good luck. 
• Have you seen the Geico commercial with the woodchucks? Ha-larious. It's still my favorite commercial on TV. In case you haven't seen it...
• A close second is the new "Call of Duty: Black Ops" commercial. It features Kobe Bryant and it makes me want to play that game. Click here if you want to see it.
• Speaking of that game I've never really played it. It's sweeping the nation. Most my friends play it. I don't know how they play "Call of Duty" without laughing. I mean when doody calls you've got to answer it, but I'm not sure I want to play a game with that name.
• Speaking of doody...this "Mind Dump" is over.

Whew...I feel much better now.

Mrs. Robert Christopher Shepherd's Birthday

Today my wife turns 31.

• At the age of 31, French Egyptologist Jean Francois Champollion deciphered the Rosetta stone. I'm not sure what that is, but my wife often translates Spanish words before they get explained in movies and on TV.
• At 31, British physician Thomas Wedgwood produced the first photograph.My wife loves photographs. Thanks to her I have every second of my life documented through pictures. Love it.
• At 31, Eli Terry produced clocks with interchangeable parts. He also introduced the free-trial, no-money-down sales method. My wife doesn't have interchangeable parts, but she does know how to tell time. She's often very patient with me when I'm running late.
• At 31, Gregory Pincus achieved in-vitro fertilization of rabbits. Later he invented the birth control pill. My wife experienced in-vitro fertilization and like a rabbit she's producing multiple babies.
• At 31, Dennis Kucinich was the youngest person ever elected to lead a major American city (Cleveland). No offense, but it's Cleveland. How major of an accomplishment is that? Lebron James. Nuff said. Anyway my wife is the youngest person living in my house.

I've heard it said that people use their 20's to figure things out. It's in their 30's that they really start living. Monica didn't wait to hit 30. She's driven, accomplished, and fabulous. Monica is an amazing wife. At the age of 31 she will receive her Masters degree, birth not one but two babies, and celebrate 10 years of marriage. Those are not small accomplishments. In fact I'd say they are amazing accomplishments. Some people fear getting old. I look forward to getting old with Monica. She makes every year significant. Happy Birthday wife.

Beautiful People

It's been said that it's not easy being beautiful. I know. I'm the best looking over weight, balding, average height guy I know.  For me I think it has to do with where I was born. Springfield Missouri just produces pretty people. Brad Pitt is from there. Technically he was born in Oklahoma, but he was raised in Springfield. That should count for something.  I digress.

Some people are just naturally beautiful. If a female ever catches my eye there are a few things I will do to protect my mind from doing anything else other than appreciating her beauty.  I've bounced my eyes. That's where I drastically turn the other direction to not allow a second glance. There have been times where I look at my wedding ring to remind me of what I have. I have also been known to remind myself that, no matter how pretty, she still farts. I know that sounds crass, but for some reason knowing that something beautiful does something gross helps. 

It's this realization, that beauty still comes with gas, that helps keep my mind in reality.  The reality is that no matter how pretty someone is they still come with faults. A lot of times we create an imaginary reality in our minds. It feels real, but it's unrealistic and unhealthy. Nobody has it all together. Nobody is perfect. Nobody is flawless. I want to get to know people past their made up selves. That means that I have to keep my mind in reality.  It means understanding that no matter how good looking someone is they will come with farts flaws. 

To Cuss or Not To Cuss...That Is The Question

There are two types of people in this world, those that cuss and those that don't. Now those that cuss and those that don't cuss fall into multiple sub-categories.  For those that cuss you have a handful of categories. For example...

• Potty mouth cusser - this person will cuss and it doesn't matter who is around. They could be around a little kid, their mom, or the Pope himself. It doesn't matter who they are around, cuss words will be a flying.
• Cuss like a sailor cusser - this person is similar to the potty mouth cusser with the exception that sailors have some respect. This person would show some cussing restraint when they are around little kids or their mom. They might still cuss at the Pope.
• Reactionary cusser - this person chooses when to let their choice of cuss words fly. This person feels that for some occasions no other word adequately explains how they feel.
• Stub thy toe cusser - this person would claim that they don't cuss, but when they stub their toe a cuss word, burried deep within their soul, comes flying out. 
• The shock cusser - this person uses cuss words to shock others. Typically this person hangs out in church going circles. They choose their choice words and let em fly to get a reaction.

For those that don't cuss you have a handful of categories.  For example...

• The substitute cusser - this person doesn't cuss, but they say all the substitutes for the cuss words. They say things like "Shut the front door," "frick'n," "dang," "shoot," "crap," & "bull poop." I would probably find myself in this category. I have been heard calling someone a "jack hole." It's only when I'm really upset and it normally involves sitting in traffic. I know that all I've done is take the first word of a particular cuss word, subtract the actual cuss word, then add the ending of another cuss word, minus the first word that actually contains the cuss word.  It's a complex formula, but it gets me out of actually saying a cuss word. I'm not proud of it.
• The strict no cusser - this person won't even say words that are substitutes for cuss words. This person would probably even blush if they heard the word shoot or dang. When this person gets mad flowers bloom, rainbows come out, and little kids sing about unicorns. Picture the real life version of Barney the Dinosaur. 

Did I miss any categories?

Yippe Ki Yay Mr. Falcon

What is your favorite classic movie line? There are some great ones out there. "I'll be back," "Here's Johnny," "Yo Adriane!," "Here's Looking At You Kid," and then my personal favorite "Yipee Ki Yay Mr. Falcon." 

One of my all time favorite movies is "Die Hard." If you are not familiar with Die Hard it's about a cop named John McClane. He's portrayed by actor Bruce Willis.  Now in "Die Hard", John McClane is a hero, but he doesn't want to be. He just happens to be the right guy in the wrong place. There are two things you can count on from a "Die Hard" movie. 1. John McClane will get beat to a pulp. 2. The movie will end with him saying "yipee ki yay mother f*****," or if it's on TBS, "yipee ki yay Mr. Falcon."

There is something amazing about that line in the movie.  John McClain has defied all odds. He should have died multiple times, but he just keeps going. He's taken the bad guys best shots and he's still coming. When he finally gives the classic line it's given with an exclamation point. It's saying I took your best shot and now I'm finished with you. It's saying I should be done, but I kept coming.  It's saying I win.

This line is so powerful I'm tempted to name my twins Yippee Ki Yay and Mr. Falcon.  There have been worst names. No offense to La-a (pronounced Ladasha) or Nosmoking (an actual name based off the no smoking sign in a hospital).  I don't think my wife will go for it, but it would be an awesome set of names. Who would mess with Yippee Ki Yay Shepherd and his or her twin Mr. Falcon?

Nobody likes going through heartache or pain. Nobody enjoys going through difficult situations. Nobody enjoys struggling.  Nobody enjoys pain, but God can use difficult situations to draw people closer to Himself. Without struggle we wouldn't have happy endings. Without pain we wouldn't appreciate healing. Without John Mclane getting a serious beat down we wouldn't appreciate "yipee ki yay Mr. Falcon."

I hate pain, but I love how I feel when I overcome it. If there is a hard situation in your life hold onto God and when you get through it you will be a better person. And when you get through that pain make a declaration. That difficult situation gave you it's best shot, but it couldn't shake you. You may have been hit hard, but you are not done! You're still coming! You won't quit! You will win! Yipee Ki Yay Mr. Falcon!

How To Make A Marriage (or any relationship) Work

Conflict arises in relationships because of unmet expectations. Think about the last time you got mad at someone. Wasn't it because you had an expectation and a person didn't meet it? You thought they would call and they didn't. You expect them to respect you and they don't. You expect people to not be rude to you and they are.You expect them to not text, and eat a Sloppy Joe, while driving down the interstate.  When expectations aren't met it causes conflict. 

You can apply the following to any relationship in your life. It's magnified in a marriage relationship because you spend so much time with your spouse.

If you want to make a relationship or marriage work then ask the following questions when someone doesn't meet your expectations...

• Have I communicated this expectation clearly? Your spouse can't read your mind. If you expect them to not leave their underwear in the middle of the bedroom floor, then you need to clearly communicate it. It's not fair to get upset with someone if you have never talked about your expectations. 
• Is this expectation realistic? Is it realistic to expect your husband to be McDreamy when he's more like McRib? Is it realistic to expect your wife to be in the mood every time that you are?  The answer is no. Some expectations need to change because they are unrealistic.

Now this only works if both people involved in the relationship are willing to work on it. If you clearly communicate your expectations and if you change your unrealistic expectations then you will have less drama in your relationships.  The hard part is forcing yourself to communicate when an expectation is unmet. That's where I struggle. It's not easy, but applying this to your relationships is how you can make a marriage (or any relationship) work.

You May Now Call Me Kobe

Have you ever thought about changing your name? Sean Combs does it on a regular basis. He went from Puff Daddy, to P Diddy, to Diddy.  Facebook started out as The Facebook. Before she became "Friends" with everybody Jennifer Aniston was known as Jennifer Anastassakis. It's not a major change, but up until high school everybody called me Robert. I didn't plan on the change. Some friends of mine just started calling me that and it took.

In the Bible names were changed on a regular basis. Abram became Abraham.  Saul was a murderous, persecuting, Pharisee before God changed his name to Paul.  Peter was one of Jesus 12 disciples. I'm pretty sure it was Jesus who changed his name from Simon to Peter.  I have never read anything about the significance of God changing some one's name, but it happened a lot in the Bible. I bet Judas wished that someone would have changed his name after he betrayed Jesus.

Having your name changed is like getting a fresh start. It's a constant reminder that something major has changed. In seminary I was introduced to a lot of students from Korea.  One of the students told me that all the Korean students had both a Korean name and an English name. John was the name of choice for most the guys.

I don't know what last week was like for you. There is a great chance that in some aspect of your life you blew it. Maybe you let someone down. Maybe you let yourself down. Maybe it's time to change your name. I blow it on a regular basis. Thank God I'm forgiven. Maybe you are not where you thought you'd be in life. Maybe you lack direction. According to God you are chosen. No matter what your name is if you know Jesus you are Forgiven and you are Chosen. Maybe today it's time to start living like your name is changed.

When talking about this with a couple of friends they quickly called me Kobe. I'm not sure that's the name I'd pick, but he is the greatest basketball player in the world.

Mind Dump

The pressure's been building. The following is a massive mind dump of all the random stuff going on in my head...

• If you live in the 757 there's a great chance that you've seen a slew of geese. They are everywhere. Now the problem with these geese are A. They walk across streets. I feel insulted that they can fly and they decide to walk across the street. B. They don't fear man. These things strut in front of cars and force them to stop. Now I'm not saying that I try to hit these birds with my car, but I do try to put the fear of Rob in them. I often speed up or drive up on them to make them move faster.
• I went to the movies for the first time in months. I love going to the movies, but with Monica on bed rest I haven't made the time. I love going to the movies.
• Tonight is the recording of WEC's first CD. Can you dig it?!! I can't wait to sing with Phil Poteat and the Waters Edge Band.
• My wife and I do crazy things in our sleep. This week we had another exciting adventure. At 12:22 I woke up to "Rob," "Rob." It was a calm but serious tone...to be continued...
• One thing that I've tried to train my wife to do is not react BIG when she is scared. Now I know you can't really help how you react, but her reaction would scare the poo out of me. There were times when we were walking and her reaction to a bug would make me think I was about to be man napped. When you are a kid it's called kidnapping...since I'm a man...you get the point. There were also times where she would be concerned as I was driving. Her reaction would lead me to feel like we were about to get run over by an 18 wheeler.  She'd slap the side of the door and gasp. In my mind we were dead.  In reality we had got a little too close to the curb.  I've asked her that whenever it's possible to stay calm when she's scared because I react crazily to her reaction.  She's done a great job at this. It should be impossible, but she now stays very calm when she is scared.
• So back to the crazy sleep...Monica was very calm, but I could tell she was scared. She then said, "someone is in our room." I quickly looked around the room and I didn't see anyone. So I tell her "There's nobody in the room." She then says, "Yes there is. I just saw them put something on our door and now they are standing on the stairs." I responded by asking, "Are you asleep?" She says, "No. I'm not. I saw someone put something on the door and now they are on the stairs." I get out of bed with my dukes ready to punch anyone on the stairs. I walk out, turn on the light, check to make sure the doors are locked, and wait a few seconds for someone to jump out at me. No one did. I get back to bed and Monica lets me know that she woke up telling me that someone was on the stairs.
• Apparently I cussed on my blog this week. I'm not a great speller. Thanks to spell check I catch a lot of mistakes. I was trying to spell assess and I left off the final s. I don't know how many people noticed, but only one person mentioned it in the comment section. Now I don't cuss, so when I read that I laughed. It was a mistake, but I made it three times on my blog.
• Do you play "Words With Friends" for the iPod, iPad, or iPhone? If you play look me up...robshep.com. It's a lot of fun.
• Have you seen Lebron James new commercial? It's a mini movie. You can watch here.

• I think it's a genius commercial. Whenever you do something different people are going to crucify you. I don't have a problem with what Lebron did. He may have made a bigger deal about it then what it deserved, but so does almost every football player after they score a touchdown. I think if he wins people will forget about all the negativity surrounding "the Decision." I'm still hoping they don't win. I'm a Lakers fan.
• My friend Stephen Haggerty posted a very funny review on a new App. It's called "Phone." Check it out here.
• I'm liking the band Gunger. I heard them at the conference Catalyst. I like the songs, "Beautiful Things," and "The Earth is Yours." If you'd like a sample check em out here.

Whew...I feel much better now.

This Is Worth Fighting God

I don't recommend fighting with God. He's got that all powerful thing going on for Him.  He's also got that three in one thing going for Him. When you fight God you're fighting the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Three to one isn't good odds even when you are not fighting someone who can call down a plague of frogs on you. 

There is however one thing that I think is worth fighting God over.  There are people who strongly hold to the belief that everything that we do in this life is predestined. In other words God has a plan and every action that we do is already marked out for us. That includes people who are destined to spend eternity in Hell.  There is even Biblical evidence to back up their belief. Romans 9 makes a pretty strong case to support this line of thinking.  I believe in the Bible so I agree that God is in control and has a plan. But if God created some people to be predestined for destruction then I'd want to fight Him on this. 

There was a time when God got really ticked off at His people. He had just rescued them from Egyptian slavery and while He was talking with Moses they create a god in the image of a cow. I'd be pretty upset myself. I mean at least make a god in the image of a lion or tiger or bear, but a cow...oh my.  He threatened to destroy them but didn't because Moses asked Him not to.

In my opinion this idea of predestination is worth fighting with God over. I'm not saying you have to cuss God out or tell Him to put up His dukes. I'm just saying that it should cause us to argue on others behalf. Something inside us should cause us to beg God to move in our friends and families lives. I don't want anyone to be separated from God for all eternity. If someone is predestined it's worth fighting God over.

So My Shrink Said...

Yesterday was my first appointment with my counselor. Two weeks ago I was dealing with some depression. I posted about it here. The first session was mainly him listening to what was going on. Nothing profound happened, but talking about things energized me.

I understand why going to see a counselor has got a bad rap. Nobody wants to give the impression that they are crazy. In fact I was a little sad to not see any padded rooms, drooling patients walking in hospital gowns, or straight jackets. I was hoping to see something out of the movie 12 Monkeys or One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. I guess all that stuff is hidden in a back room. I kid I kid.

I'm not a handy type of guy. I don't fix things. I don't know how to fix household type of things and I don't enjoy fixing household type things. When my car breaks down I proudly go to a mechanic to have him fix it.  When I ask for help with my house or car I'm not embarrassed. In fact I think it would be silly for me to try to fix it on my own.  Why not entrust my house and car to a professional who can fix the problem.  This is the same way I feel about Christian counseling.

Maybe it's because of the stigma of crazy. Maybe it's because of pride. Pride to admit that you don't have all the answers or that you need some help. I'm not sure what it is, but I'm not afraid to admit that I need a little help from a Christian counselor. As a mechanic analyzes the cause of the problem I'm looking for a different set of eyes to analyze what was going on with me. 

In the first session he told me about change points. They assess a certain amount of points for changes in a person's life.  He said that if a person has a major change like a death in the family they will assess a large amount of points. He then said that at 100 points there can be cause for concern. He said with all the changes going on in my life he'd assess that I was at 300 points. I'm excited to continue this journey and figure out what I can do.

Olympic Run

On Thanksgiving I'm planning on jogging in a 5k. The last time I moved as a part of a race it didn't go so well for me.  I was in the third grade. It was for the Boy Scouts, and it was the annual Boy Scout Olympics. I was living in Germany and the BS Olympics were held in Munich. The Olympic stadium in Munich is famous for the terrorist attack during the 1972 Summer Olympics.  Oh, and just to clarify, for this blog BS stands for Boy Scouts. 

For some reason I didn't get the memo that we didn't have to wear our BS uniforms during the BS Olympics. It doesn't makes sense to me now, but as a third grader I guess it made sense to wear the official uniform. I entered many events, including a relay race. I don't remember the distance that we ran. The only thing I remember, is that when it was my turn to run, my BS pants kept falling down. During the race I had to keep hoisting them up the entire run.  It must have been pretty noticeable because I remember people laughing. I also remember hearing about it when I went back to school. I'm hoping that this Thanksgiving 5k turns out better than the BS run. I'm thinking I'll wear suspenders just in case. I'll keep you posted.

Why Do They Call You Christian?

I often wonder about things. I don't know the reason, but I enjoy knowing why. I want to know why a jean company would put pant sizes on the outside of the jeans for the world to see. I want to know why it's impossible to pop all the kernels in a bag of microwavable popcorn? I'd love to know why I'm 5"10, and I love basketball, while at the same time my lil brother is 6"1 and could care less about basketball.  With it being Halloween weekend there were multiple scary movies on TV. My wife mentioned that the movie Halloween 3 was on, and that it didn't have Michael Myers (the main villain) in it.  I wanted to know why, so I googled it.  The point is that I like to know why.

Now this is something that you might not care about, but have you ever wondered why people were first called Christians? It started during a severe time of persecution. Christ Followers were so severely attacked that it lead many to leave their homes and relocate to different parts of the world.  There was a group in Antioch who was making so much noise people called them Christians.  Now when I write noise I'm saying they were yelling like a bunch of banshees.  They were making a difference with the way that they lived. They were telling people about Jesus and so many people were affected that they were called Christians. 

Many believe that the name was meant to be a derogatory name. The Bible says, "They were called Christians." - Acts 11:26.  They were called this name because of the way they lived.

If someone looked at my life I wonder what they'd call me? It's easy for me to get wrapped up in my life. It's easy for me to spend most of my time thinking about me. It's easy for me to call myself a Christian and yet live completely for me. 

I want to live a life where people call me Christian. I don't want it to just be something that I call myself. I want my life to make such a difference people can't help but notice my God. 

Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. - 1 Peter 2:11-12.