I wanted to follow up on my blog post from this morning. I felt I needed to flesh out what I was talking about.
Some people see things with a negative slant. I know multiple people who after a church service, movie, eating at a restaurant etc. will find something negative. The problem with the negative person is not that they observe what they observe, it's that they dump their negativity on others. Negativity breads negativity. But the truth is sometimes the glass is half empty, has smudges, and the drink is gag nasty. The truth is that what they feel is sometimes or even often right. What if the negative person (or the next time you feel negative about something) took a deep breath, found a solution to the problem, and then presented it to someone who could do something about it. If there isn't a solution then keep your thought to yourself.
When someone complains they are often looking for someone to agree with their negative view point. Most people don't want to solve a problem...they just want to complain about it. What if instead of being negative you became a part of a solution. If there is a problem and you see it find a solution and then only talk to someone who can do something about it.
My point is that some people tend to be naturally more negative then others. They should use their perspective for the good by bringing a solution to the thing they see a problem with. If they did that they'd be using their negativity for good.
I thought your point was clear in the first post. I think your suggestion is good. But I would like to add one thing. Being a negative person is more than just finding fault with something and then spreading that negativity like some sitcom stock character. I know because I am a very negative person. A good example of how my mind works is as follows. I sit in my car at lunch time to enjoy a few moments of reading. Yet I tend to people watch. But I have negative thoughts about everyone I see. That one is fat. That one needs to choose a different hair style. That one dresses like a bum. That one walks like they have a stick up their butt. These thoughts are not conscious. They just bubble up and are evil. I can also assure you that they are not welcome. I try to chide myself and gain control of my mind. I pray and seek guidance. Yet when the very next person comes along, more crap runs through my head. I am wired for negativity. I wish there was a way to cut the wires that make up this circuit. I want no part of it.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog topic, Rob. I think I'm going to share this with our girls tonight if we have a few extra minutes. We touched on the subject during the toxic thoughts lesson, but negativity is a major epidemic, so I think it could use some revisiting. I really like the method of keeping quiet if you have no solution.
ReplyDeleteI get told often by people that they appreciate my positivity. But I have plenty of negative thoughts and observations. I just don't verbalize them. I used to be a very whiny person. I noticed myself being very complaintant and I was a total "debbie downer". So in order to do something about it, I decided that before I said something negative out-loud, I would ask myself two things: "Does it matter?" and "Can I fix it?" If it won't matter in an hour, and/or I can't do anything to solve the issue, then I keep my trap shut.
Lindsey: Thanks for these great tools "Does it matter?" and "Can I fix it?" I will work hard to use them in my own experience. If more folks would apply these filters the world would be much quieter and happier.
ReplyDeleteI can't help but think of the book of Ecclesiastes in regards to wisdom and negativity....it seems to me that the wiser you are in this life, the more negative you are.
ReplyDeleteSean, interesting point. I almost quoted some Ecc. for this post, but I couldn't find exactly what I was looking for.
ReplyDeleteLindsey, ever thought about starting a blog. That was a great, and practical comment. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rob! And haha, no, I haven't really given much thought to starting a blog, but a couple of people have suggested that recently. Maybe I'll give it a shot one of these days!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed these posts. Maybe because I am positive to a fault at times. I enjoy a "negative person" who likes to solve because you are right they see things that I never even consider. BUT, it is so frustrating to be with people that are negative JUST to be negative. And, yet I bet those same type of people get annoyed with me being positive JUST to be postive.
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