There are two types of people in this world, those that cuss and those that don't. Now those that cuss and those that don't cuss fall into multiple sub-categories. For those that cuss you have a handful of categories. For example...
- Potty mouth cusser - this person will cuss and it doesn't matter who is around. They could be around a little kid, their mom, or the Pope himself. It doesn't matter who they are around, cuss words will be a flying.
- Cuss like a sailor cusser - this person is similar to the potty mouth cusser with the exception that sailors have some respect. This person would show some cussing restraint when they are around little kids or their mom. They might still cuss at the Pope.
- Reactionary cusser - this person chooses when to let their choice of cuss words fly. This person feels that for some occasions no other word adequately explains how they feel.
- Stub thy toe cusser - this person would claim that they don't cuss, but when they stub their toe a cuss word, burried deep within their soul, comes flying out.
- The shock cusser - this person uses cuss words to shock others. Typically this person hangs out in church going circles. They choose their choice words and let em fly to get a reaction.
For those that don't cuss you have a handful of categories. For example...
- The substitute cusser - this person doesn't cuss, but they say all the substitutes for the cuss words. They say things like "Shut the front door," "frick'n," "dang," "shoot," "crap," & "bull poop." I would probably find myself in this category. I have been heard calling someone a "jack hole." It's only when I'm really upset and it normally involves sitting in traffic. I know that all I've done is take the first word of a particular cuss word, subtract the actual cuss word, then add the ending of another cuss word, minus the first word that actually contains the cuss word. It's a complex formula, but it gets me out of actually saying a cuss word. I'm not proud of it.
- The strict no cusser - this person won't even say words that are substitutes for cuss words. This person would probably even blush if they heard the word shoot or dang. When this person gets mad flowers bloom, rainbows come out, and little kids sing about unicorns. Picture the real life version of Barney the Dinosaur.
Did I miss any categories?
I'm a stub and sub
ReplyDeleteI hear ya, Billy.
ReplyDeleteGiven only two categories, I would then be labeled as a cusser. Yet my category is a mixed one. I cuss when things that I should be able to accomplish easily become fouled up. I cuss when I am super angry or frustrated as all of my filters and decorum norms go bye-bye. I cuss when I hang out with "the boys". I would never cuss in front of my daughter or the "pope". I try to manage my tongue under most circumstances.
ReplyDeleteWith all of this stated, I have known some substitutionary cussers who made me laugh so hard with some of the things they uttered.
Ha ha ha! I love this post. I think you can be a mixture of two categories. Stub and Sub seems to be the common mixture that probably most people fit into.
ReplyDeleteThere's the stealth or silent cusser--one that cusses inside their mind, but it never escapes the lips. Upon the rare occasion it does, that would be a momentary lapse into the Stub thy toe cusser.
This ties in to your last post about the quote from Die Hard. Sometimes a cuss word just fits and gives just the right emphasis on the moment more than a substitute cuss word. However, I wouldn't name your kid the real word from the quote (though you could use initials MF).
stub, for sure. but i am known for letting "Dang" fly rather freely. but i really say "Dang" in my head--is that subbing?
ReplyDeleteOOh, mother father, I don't know what category I'm in!!
ReplyDeleteYou bring up a great point. MF Shepherd has a ring to it. I kid I kid.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny.
ReplyDeleteYeah that subbing. And welcome back. You were in the lead for the most comments, but now Daniel Carman is running away with it.
ReplyDeleteI'm in the strict no cusser category. That does not mean that everything I say is great and beautiful or that rainbows and halos surround me. I do hate it that our culture has become so punctuated with cuss words and that people have become so desensitized to what was once considered vulgar language. I've bee influenced by Eph.4:29 "Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth..." and Matt. 12:36 about giving account for every idle/careless word. I figure I have enough just thoughtless speech to give account for without adding cuss words which don't even work as shock value anymore.
ReplyDeletewell, we can't have that :)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely am a combination. Primarily shock and maybe a bit of sub... I don't really swear and am against it for the most part, but I will for shock value.
ReplyDeleteI find the idea of vulgar words interesting... they change over time and from culture to culture... The idea that Shakespeare was being shocking with the use of words like "villian", "cur (later dog)" or "coward"... what is vulgar is constantly in flux.
You left out the closet cusser. I, uh... know a guy...
ReplyDeleteI used to be a strict no-cusser! I remember the days of high school when someone would say anything beyond "shucks" and I'd get that same cold rush you get when you nearly miss a car crash.
ReplyDeleteNow I'd say I'm a closet cusser.
I like your blog. Then there is the "screw" word as in "S-you" or "S'd-up" etc. And these are sometimes uttered form the pulpit during a sermon.
ReplyDeleteO crap I've been found out!
ReplyDelete