Are you a good neighbor? I don't think I am. From time to time I try to be. One time I mowed all of my neighbors front yards. They were all looking pretty rough. I live in a town home so it didn't take too long. Afterward I didn't get a thank you. Not that I did it for a thank you, but I would have at least liked for it to open up the door for conversation. Another time my wife and I invited our whole block to an open house. We made a buffet of desserts, passed out invitations, and waited patiently. Finally one couple showed up. I think they showed up because they felt bad for us.
I have two neighbors that are friendly. They at least say hi. I have others that look the other way when I wave. I think part of the problem is that we host two Community Groups at our house. Every Monday and Wednesday cars and people gather at my town home for a couple of hours. I don't think my neighbors like this.
If this was the first time I didn't click with my neighbors I would put it on them. The truth is that Monica and I have lived in 4 different homes and the result has always been the same. We just don't click with our neighbors. I hate not being a good neighbor. I hate that I don't know the names of the people that live right down the street from me. I hate that one of my neighbors died and I didn't know about it until a month later. He was hit by a car while on a walk. He was one of the few neighbors that would talk with me. The only reason I knew he died was because I made a point to ask another neighbor about him. I hadn't seen him in a month and I was curious to know where he was. Come to find out he was dead.
So if you are a good neighbor what advice would you give me? What can I do to get to know my neighbors?
Although I agree that being a good neighbor is important I have also noticed that increasingly people aren't into being neighborly. We live in a society that is much more isolating than ever before. So, I don't know that the fact that you have had it happen in more than one neighborhood necessarily means that you are the common thread.
ReplyDeleteI don't do more than wave at my neighbors as I
ReplyDeletedrive up or down my street. If I am working in my yard and they walk by, I will look up and say and quick hello and then get back to the task at hand. But, if I saw some suspicious activity going on, I would not hesitate to call the police. So, I am not entirely useless.
Rob, I agree with Jill. Society has become more and more isolated. I am going to assume that because you live in a town home, majority of your neighbors are under the age of 50. Correct me if I'm wrong. I think that neighborly friendliness is a dying trend. Stephanie and I live in an old, well established neighborhood. Majority of our neighbors are over the age of 50 and retired. They have been more than kind to us since the day we moved in. They made time to introduce themselves when we first moved in and regularly check in on us to make sure we are doing okay. Now when we lived in our apartment, where most of our neighbors were our age (25) or under the age of 50, we didn't hear more than a couple of words from them most of time. Its unfortunate, because there is nothing better than great neighbors. I would say that you are doing great and we can only hope that people will see how great of a neighbor you are being and be motivated to follow your example.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget we made a welcome basket with fresh baked cookies, a beautiful serving platter, and tips for Yorktown for the newest neighbors! They never mentioned anything about it and sometimes they wave. We try....maybe not as much because we keep getting shot down. We're about to get two new neighbors...maybe they'll like us. I'm pretty sure they all hate us because we have two community groups a week at our house & steal all the parking! :)
ReplyDeletetake them cookies rob...play cornhole with them...come on you got the skillz...
ReplyDeleteI live in a townhouse as well. My two neighbors and I get along really well. However, the other 4 homes in our block are not as friendly even when you say hello. There are others on different blocks that are friendly as well. I think the problem in our neighborhood is that we have quite a few rentals. Therefore, the people change frequently. I try to make some cookies and write a welcome note when I can, but I don't always get a response either.
ReplyDeleteThey might be annoyed at the two CGs, especially if the parking is limited. That doesn't mean you aren't a good neighbor, and sounds like you are making a good effort.
ReplyDeleteI'm not as neighborly as my husband is. All the neighbors know him, and he knows them (at least the ones on our end of the street). He spends a lot more time outside doing yard work, so sees them. I'm more of an introvert (and inside), and it's hard for me to just start a casual conversation with those I don't know too well. Some neighbors I know well enough, but others I don't know at all. I have to agree with most of the other posts, that society is more isolated. I know I should make more of an effort, but it's hard to go out of that comfort zone.
It's sort of the same with friends. You have to make an effort to keep the friendship going, and that is hard to do sometimes, so we lose touch, never making a conscious decision to do so. I need to work on that, too.
Basically, I don't have any advice for you, since I'm not good at it. Sounds like you make more effort than most.
not much connections with my neighbors!
ReplyDeleteGood Luck!
Currently my neighbor is Chip and one of the reasns we moved from our last neighborhood was because we didnt like our neighbors being butt heads. No advice here sorry.
ReplyDeleteRob, it sounds to me like you are a good neighbor.
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I think you've gone the distance... and quite honestly, its a little further than I've gone. I have convos with my neighbors... but I haven't done much else.
-Terrace Crawford
www.terracecrawford.com
www.twitter.com/terracecrawford