I love my wife. At least I think I love my wife...
My wife is an amazing person and very easy to love. She loves me well. In fact she goes above and beyond to show me love. That makes it easy to love her. I say I love her but...
We have a rule that says we won't have a TV in the bedroom. We have this rule because the bedroom should be a place of communication and intimacy. When a TV is in the room couples zone out, stop talking, and according to statistics have 50% less sex then couples with a TV in the bedroom. So on our second year of marriage we got rid of the bedroom TV and haven't looked back.
Enter the iPod. The iPod is great for those nights where I can't sleep. About once a month I wake up before God. I'm kidding, but I do wake up early. Like 3:30 AM early. Before the iPod I would go to the other room when I couldn't sleep, so I wouldn't wake Monica. I would still end up waking her because she's a light sleeper. In August I got an iPod touch. I love it. I've developed a nightly routine where I play "Words with Friends," and check "Facebook." Recently this routine has been bothering Monica. It's bothering her because she is all about quality time. That is time without distractions.
Now, my first thought should have been, how sweet my wife enjoys time with just me. Instead I thought it's not that big of a deal. I mean it takes five minutes and it helps me wind down. Plus I don't care when she gets on her iPod for a few minutes. That thinking is the problem. You see I say I love my wife, but at the first sign of having to love her the way she wants to be loved I get annoyed. Now it's not drastic and it's not a major problem, but it made me think. Love is not just loving someone when they do what you want. And it's not loving someone the way you want to be loved. True love is sacrificial.
So I really do love my wife, but I need to put away the iPod to show it.
I feel like I have to fight daily, sometimes moment to moment with my inward self to remember this...and still fail...I was thinking just last night about how Paul says in Gal 5:23 that there is law against the fruit of the Spirit...now of course we will never be perfect in that but if we are yielding to the Spirit and allowing Him to work those things in us, our wives WILL BE loved like they ask and how Christ loves His Bride, us. It sucks for us cause our House is microscopic (our bedroom is the functional dining room, living room, kids playroom, and our bedroom, so we (and I mean mostly me) need to fight to secure the quality time...thanks for the reminder, Rob.
ReplyDeleteSome good wisdom here. I wish had could have had a much greater level when I was younger. I definitely would not be in the same pickle of a fish I'm in now! Argh.
ReplyDeletethat is "no law against"
ReplyDeleteRob, You are a wise man....thanks for the words of wisdom you share with everyone.
ReplyDeleteGreat reminder! I remember you telling us about the "no television in the bedroom" idea during our pre-marital counseling and Michael and I try to keep distractions (i.e. tv, laptop, etc) to a minimum so that we can focus on each other.
ReplyDeletethis is the kind of stuff I admire you for, and learn from... cuz i know it's definitely stuff i'lll have to deal with in squashing my selfishness and becoming more sacrificial. God bless you and Monica, and congrats on the boy/girl discovery for the upcoming twins!
ReplyDeleteOk, so what do you do now? We have this problem, but we use our phones for alarms, so we can't just keep them in another room. Do you have suggestions? What are you going to do? Great post!
ReplyDeleteNicely put! We keep a TV out of the bedroom for the same reason (that and we only have 1 tv!), but then realized that we still get on the computer in the bedroom... so we've mostly stopped that, now, too!
ReplyDeleteSusan, very cool.
ReplyDeleteSince it's an iPod and not my phone I don't need it in the room. I do still keep it in the room but I wait to get on until after she has fallen asleep. I have it in there just in case I wake up at a crazy early time. If it's your phone I suggest turning it off and seeing if the alarm will still work. Or just don't use it while the other one is awake. Thanks for the great comment!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jake! You the man! By the way did you see the Green Hornet?
ReplyDeleteI like to see you are living what we talked in premarital counseling! You guys rock.
ReplyDeleteKim, thanks! I wish I was wise enough to see this coming before she had to say anything.
ReplyDeleteDaniel, I like the Argh at the end. It reminds me of a pirate.
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure Billy.
ReplyDelete