Hurt people hurt people. That sentence is not a mistake. When someone is hurting they often hurt others. About a month ago Monica and I received a doctor's report that said we were a threatened miscarriage. The doctor said that 95% of the time nothing happens to the baby, but all I could think about was the 5%. On the outside I was not showing any sides of cracking, but on the inside I was hurting.
On my blog I often make mistakes. I don't mean to, but it happens far too often. When I do I appreciate it when friends kindly correct one of my mistakes. I don't enjoy it when someone jokes on a mistake, but I love it when someone cares enough to help me out. My good friend Dan Peters sent me an email letting me know that I used literally wrong. He explained how it should be used and even wrote that many people make the same mistake I did. I think I wrote that my life would literally suck without Jesus. It was near the end of the day when I received his email. I was hurting. I sent him a quick and somewhat rude response and then I went jogging.
While I was jogging I started crying. I've often heard women say that sometimes they just need a good cry. I've never experienced that. I was so overcome with love for my babies that I just broke down.
After the jog I thought about my email. I realized that because I was hurting I didn't respond like I normally would. It's not right, but it's what happened. Hurt people hurt people. When someone is healthy and whole they don't hurt others with their words and actions. When someone is hurting they often react by hurting others. A hurt self image results in hurting others' self images. A hurting heart results in hurting words. Sometimes people are just jerks, but more often then not you can trace a person's negative actions back to their hurt. Hurt people hurt people. Talking about it to a Christian counselor helped me a lot. Sharing my fears with someone made the hurt...well not hurt so bad. Hurt people hurt people, but I don't want to hurt others. When I started dealing with my hurt I stopped hurting others. If you find yourself hurting the ones you love maybe it's because you are hurting? Oh and everything is going great with the babies. The doctors are no longer concerned!
Wow, now you've got me tearing up. I once treated a friend of mine in a way that was really negative. I was also hurting a lot at the time, but he took it in stride. He said that he does not judge folks by their worst moments. He knew my negative tone was not directed at him personally, and he quickly and easily forgave me when I talked to him later. I try to take ownership of his advice in my own life. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteSo true! I also appreciate Daniel's insight. Learning to let people vent and hurt W/O taking it personally is the essence of love and forgiveness in action.
ReplyDeleteRob I was trying to make it a day without tearing up!!! You have the God given gift to put complicated thoughts and feelings into simple form. This is a great post and one that will apply to so many, me included. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate you willingness to be vulnerable in these posts!!
ReplyDeleteI so appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable in these posts!!
ReplyDeleteI thought I was the only person who ever cried while running, well for reasons other than being in pain. ;) Love this post, Rob. So true.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post, Rob! So true! Thanks for sharing and being willing to open up about it! So thankful for your babies! And I LOVE how much you love them already!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree Rob! Well said! Thank you for being so vulnerable and at the same time being so encouraging. This post helped me to really think more as I deal with my students, so many who are hurting for many different reasons. Also, I'm so thankful that God really has wrapped his arms around you, Monica and those little boys! Prayers continue to come your way!
ReplyDeleteGood blog.
ReplyDeleteApparently it's been a long time since I've read your blog, since I never read this. I didn't really think the e-mail was rude, I did wonder about your abruptness though. It was uncharacteristic of you, and I did wonder if I made you upset.
You did clarify in person later.