How to Make Your Man Better Part 2: Guest Blogger Monica Shepherd

Last Wednesday, Rob posted a blog on How to Make Your Man Better. Since I believe so much in this topic and it received so much feedback, I thought I would follow up with a guest blog about respecting your husband. Rob discussed how men desire and crave respect, but that some women have a very hard time respecting their man. "A respecting wife inspires her husband to greatness. A disrespecting wife is like a swift kick to the crotch."
In the comment section of the original blog, Lindsey asked for a top 10 list of ways to respect your husband, so here it goes!

1. Pray for your husband every chance you get. Pray that he would pursue God, make wise decisions, and have the energy to love you well! I always ask Rob about his day each morning so I know exactly how to pray for him during the day. If he has a Sunday programming meeting, I pray he has creativity. If he has a counseling appointment, I pray God would give him wisdom.

2. Tell him every time he does something well! Even if it is something small like unloading the dishwasher, thank him and make sure he feels appreciated. Believe it or not, it propels him to continue doing things for you! If it is something big at work, avoid negativity and find the good to encourage him with. Rob's love language (how he feels the most loved) is words of affirmation. Don't get me wrong, we give constructive criticism, but it is well received because we pour on the compliments as well. We are each other's biggest fan.

3. Never bad mouth him to your friends or family. This does not mean you are fake if you have a frustration or problem. If you have an issue with him, communicate it with him, not everyone else! It will not get better if you do not talk to him about it fairly. There is nothing more disrespectful for any relationship than to bring it to others before you bring it to the person directly involved.

4. When communicating to your spouse, avoid using the words never and always. The chances of him "always" doing something or "never" doing something are slim. Even if that is how you feel, you have to fight fair. A better way to say something is, "The last two times this happened, I feel like you...." Wait until the 2nd or 3rd time this thing that "always" happens occurs, and communicate fairly and timely to avoid it becoming a bigger issue. Respect him by communicating reasonably. When I conference with parents, I don't just dump everything on the table bluntly. Why would I do this with the man I love?

5. Tell him you love him every chance you get.

6. Tell him how proud you are of him as a husband, father, employee, whatever! Find something to celebrate!

7. Be creative in how you show him that you love him. This is different, and often better, than just saying I love you. I have sent Rob cards at work, flowers, made a picnic of his favorite foods, surprised him with trips and sporting event tickets, and bought him little presents. This leads him to do the same for me and it just perpetuates the cycle! Whenever he surprises me with flowers or something at school, my principal still asks what he did wrong, but that's the whole point of this! We don't wait for something to be wrong!

8. Communication and creativity also play a role in the bedroom! Both are necessary and make for a much healthier relationship! You might not think it's related to respect, but you'd be surprised!

9. Take an interest in what he is interested in! He won't look for other people to share things with if he can share them with you! Before college I could not name a single Laker player besides Magic Johnson. Now, I can name the entire team, all of their past all-stars, and I wear jerseys to the games! I also love watching SportsCenter and PTI now, which started because they were a big part of Rob's life! I don't belittle his hobbies or interests, and this shows that I respect him.

10. Ask him how you can be a better wife or how you can show him more respect. Every person feels loved in different ways, so your spouse's love language might not be listed here. Ask him! He'll be impressed you care! Warning- if you ask him, be prepared to follow through!

It is just as important for the husband to cherish the wife. Wives respecting their husbands is not a one way street, but it does make it a million times easier for your husband to cherish you if you are trying the list above. Finally, tell him what you need! Husbands can't read minds and shouldn't be expected to. That's all.