- Chipotle is diet food. And don't tell me that there are some things there that are not that bad for you. I'm talking about a burrito with extra cheese and a large Coke...can you dig it?!!!
- I have more hair on my head then on my back.
- joggers nipples didn't exist. I haven't had this very often, but the other day I went jogging in the rain. After five miles of jogging in soaked clothes I looked like Andy Bernard from "the Office"...
- jobs were on the college schedule. Summers off, a month for Christmas, plus a spring break. At a job you have 15 days of vacation and you have to request for time off. In college I took 2 or 3 classes a day. My afternoon was spent eating lunch, taking a nap, playing basketball, staying up till midnight or later, and then repeating it the next day. College schedule rules.
- I was as good at basketball in real life as I am at playing a basketball video game.
- movie companies would ask my opinion before they released movies. I'm not trying to be arrogant, but I feel like I could have saved some movies like Pirates of the Caribbean 2 & 3, X-Men 3, Superman Returns, Speed 2, both Transformers movies, and anything else that had potential to be great but failed miserably.
- I could take a nap for 30 minutes a day no matter what day of the week it was. I hate that I get slap tired some days. Or better yet...
- I don't get tired until bedtime.
- farts were acceptable and smelt like clean laundry. Most my friends have never heard me fart. I would hate to do it in public. It's hard work keeping it in. It's even harder work tyring to find a corner of the room where no one is standing and that is close to an animal or someone who is fatter then you and that you can blame the stank on. If they were acceptable and smelt like fresh clean laundry it would make my life easier.
- babies never cried, spit up, or had to have a diaper changed.
- I was 6'3" tall.
- money grew on trees.
- the Super Bowl was a national holiday and no one had to work on the Monday after. I ate myself into a food coma and had a very hard time waking up the next day.
- I knew how to "Dougie" and I could teach others.
- I could teleport to hang out with friends.
- houses cleaned themselves.
- Red Roof Inn actually had a red roof. Whenever I pass one of these hotels it drives me crazy because the roof is never red.
- words that mean different things were never spelled the same. Like live and live. One is live and the one is live but they are spelled the same. Just in case you are not with me...I want to live to be old enough that I have experienced life, but not so old that I poo myself vs. I watched the basketball game live.
- people snored on key. How great would it be if snores sounded like sweet melodies?
- sweat smelled like Curve cologne. Amazing smell.
- I could eat what I want and never gain weight.
I wish I lived in a world where all of this stuff happened, but I don't. I can imagine it, but it will never happen. Instead of dreaming about things I can't change I need to spend some time working on some things that I can. I can live in a world where I forgive those that hurt me, love like God loves me, and inspire others to be better. Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I think that we can change people's worlds.
So now it's your turn. What does your dream world look like?
I want my sports teams to always win. I have an ulcer from watching UCONN last night! (Oh, and no more cancer for anyone. ever.)
ReplyDeleteWow, your list is disturbing on several levels, but all of them funny. Actually I did shout out a hearty "Oh Yes!!" (with two exclamation points) on several items on your list, so I guess that I am just as disturbed as you. ... But in my dream world, love is something that isn't taken away and we never have to say goodbye.
ReplyDeleteI'm really digging the 'houses clean themselves' part!
ReplyDeleteI helped at a water stand during a marathon once. The # of people who looked like that had taped gauze to their nipples was startling. Of course, that is probably better than the alternative.
ReplyDeleteVery true. Out of fear of ripping tape off my chest hairs I avoid the tape and guaze. I'd rather bleed. Wait is that too much info?
ReplyDeleteSusan, me too.
ReplyDeleteDaniel, I like the idea of your dream world.
ReplyDeleteMelissa, I am all about the no cancer for anyone. The sports team one...I don't know. Part of the fun is knowing that you could lose. I hate when my team loses but it makes the win that much better.
ReplyDeletein my dream world i have somewhere to always play basketball and people are always there looking for a pick-up game.
ReplyDeleteAlso, in my dream world i have a 6 pack..just saying
In my dream world, neither of us have to work and we just hang out all the time. Also, my ankles and hands are normal, and it doesn't take 5 minutes to roll over.
ReplyDeleteMichael, that would be a most excellent dream world.
ReplyDeleteThe first part of your dream world would be fun. The second part is coming. Just hang on for 2 months.
ReplyDeleteIf your sweat smelled like Curve, it would be nasty... think about dumping a whole bottle of curve on you... not pleasant.
ReplyDeleteI can't really think of what my dream world would entail... more kindness I guess, but that's lame. I kind of like the world we have with the exception of the hate, depravity, disease and death... if great things came easy or without cost, I don't know that I'd appreciate them any longer.
In my dream world Fat Free and Sugar Free foods would actually be good.
ReplyDeleteAt 55 your body would still look like it did at 25.
Gray hair was not wirey.
I would have hairless legs.
Puppies were born housebroken