Things I Just Don't Understand

• The lyrics to Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson. I don't have a fat clue what he says in parts of that song.
• Why people leave comments joking on a spelling mistake I've made on Twitter or Facebook. I'm not a good speller. It's a weakness. Show me a little grace.
• Why there is so much space around the door of a public bathroom stall. I don't want to see people through the crack in the side of the door and I certainly don't want them to see me. Was it really that much more expensive to make a door that almost went to the ground and that didn't have a space on the sides?
• Why people talk while going to the bathroom. What happens in there is private. I try to keep all of my talking to before and after I take care of business.
• Why we are forced to take Algebra in school. It's so not practical. I'd rather every student take a course that taught how to budget money or balance a check book.
• Math in general. The Bible says that God is not a God of confusion. Math is confusing and therefore it's from Satan.
• Why people like The Bachelor. I get Reality TV. I get the drama. I just don't get how watching one dude kiss a bazillion different ladies doesn't hack girls off.
• Why the words live and live are spelled the same. One word shouldn't mean two totally different things. It should be live as in "Live with Regis and Kelly" and liv as in "Liv like you were dying."
• Why no one has invented microwavable popcorn that pops all the kernels in the bag without burning the popcorn.
• Why Americans don't call their language American. Have you ever tried to watch a show from England. It sounds nothing like American English. No offense but when we rebelled we should have renamed what we speak.
• Why God blesses me even though I don't deserve it.
• What they were thinking when they made the fourth Indiana Jones, Rocky V, and Spiderman 3.
• People who have email but never check it.
• Why we don't put deodorant on our feet or belly buttons. They can stink just as much as the pits.
• Why Facebook and iTunes change their layouts so much. I like em both, but I just wish I understood why they change every few months.
• How the news doesn't get sued for showing big butts when they talk about obesity.
• Why we can't tickle ourselves.
• Why anyone wouldn't like Papa Johns Pizza. "Better pizza, better ingredients" and yet I know multiple people who don't like it. I love it by the way.
• Why people say everything tastes like chicken. I've never eaten anything that tastes like chicken...except chicken.
• Speaking of eating things...why people say certain things have no flavor. I've heard lettuce, and water have no flavor. Really? They taste like lettuce and watter...that is their flavor.
• Why every magazine at the grocery store has an article about sex. On the front cover of almost every magazine is a line that says something like, "765 ways to improve your sex life." It doesn't matter the magazine either...Glamour, Home and Garden, Cat Fancy. Sure sex sells, but don't other things sell just as well?
• Why hair decides to grow where it grows. It should be simple...on the head = great. On the back = gag nasty.
• Why people don't like to watch old movies. Have you ever had a group of people over to your house to watch a movie? It's been my experience that the crowd will refuse to watch a movie unless it is rented or newly bought. Even if they haven't seen the movie they don't want to watch it if it's old. I've had people reject me on "Back to the Future," "The Fugitive," and "The Matrix."
• Why guys wear speedos.
• Why God blessed me with the mind to rhyme and two hyped feet.
• Why people didn't get that the last one was a quote from "U Can't Touch This."
• Why I fall asleep while watching movies. I love movies. I don't want to sleep during them but I often do.
• Why I think the word duty is so funny. Pretty sure I'll laugh if someone says they have..."bus duty, ship duty, multiple duties, or civic duty." It just sounds too much like doodie.
• Why people lie and say they've been cow tipping. I lived with a family that owned many a cows and they told me it's impossible.
• Why people follow me on Twitter even though I don't know them. I don't mind and I'm not saying that they shouldn't...I just don't understand. It's more that I'm just curious.
• Why there are so many things that I just don't understand.

What are some things that you just don't understand? Leave a comment.