Monday, March 22, 2010

I'm Not A Nice Person

I try to be a nice person. I've even heard people describe me as a nice guy. It may seem that way on the outside but there are a handful of things that show I'm just not that nice.
  • I hang up on telemarketers. I used to feel bad for them because their job stinks, but then they just kept harassing me. If you call me Mr. Shepherd, Robert Shepherd, and or you pause before you ask to speak to someone then I'm hanging up on you. Those are all signs that you don't know me, but you want me to buy your product.
  • When I was a kid I blamed my brother for stealing one of my G.I. Joes. I found it right before my parents started spanking him. Even though I found it I still let them spank him.
  • I kill bugs in my house. Until recently I thought everyone did this. I'm meeting more and more people who will actually catch a bug in their house and take it outside. Not me. I don't feel sorry for the lil guys. If you trespass in my house you will die...bugs that is.
  • I get really impatient with people while I drive. I try not to cuss and I've only said one cuss word in the last 21 years of my life. However, I have been known to say substitutes for cuss words. If someone upsets me my word of choice is Jack hole. I don't know why I started saying it. Sometimes I just call them Jack. I'm basically taking the proper name of a donkey and mixing it with hole. It's like the beginning and end of two separate cuss words without the actual cuss word. I'm not proud...it's just what I do.
  • I'm a people person, but there are times when I will walk the other way so I don't have to talk to some people. I know it's not nice. Most the time I don't do it, but there are times when I pretend to not see someone.
  • I openly share my opinion to people who like movies that I think are rubbish. I don't mean to be a jerk about it. I know my taste in movies isn't the end all, but I just can't stop myself.
  • I once squirted random people with Super Soakers from the back of a station wagon with my best friend Chad (not the football player) Johnson.
  • I laugh when people fall.

You see, I'm not a nice person. I'm thankful that I don't get to Heaven based on being nice. God doesn't love me because I'm nice or not. He loves me despite of it. In fact He makes me want to love better which in turn makes me nicer. I'm still going to kill insects in my house.

11 comments:

  1. Honest and illuminating post, but you're still a nice guy. It's actually not a bad thing to be known for. By the way, I met your wife last night for the first time. We got to chat for a moment before service. She seems very nice as well.

    Now all of this niceness is starting to cause me a tummy ache. Back to work. Have a great day.

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  2. Confession is good. Seriously. We are all flawed in various ways. Those who don't know it or can't admit it are the ones to steer clear of.

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  3. By the way, you are also HONEST, transparent, quick to make amends, and forgiving.

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  4. seriously,, cant think of a nicer guy...

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  5. He's the nice one in this relationship! :)

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  6. Not sure if it was supposed to...but this made me laugh. :) I especially laughed at your substitute cuss words. No one is always nice, except maybe my sister Anna. ;)

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  7. People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.

    For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the sex organs and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, striking them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulus in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be sexually abusive, but I won't list them all here. One can use the resources I've posted if they want to learn more. All materials listed may be accessed at the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at www.nospank.net.

    Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:

    Child buttock-battering (euphemistically labeled "spanking","swatting","switching","smacking", "paddling",or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

    Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

    I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.

    There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

    Plain Talk About Spanking
    by Jordan Riak,

    The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
    by Tom Johnson,

    NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
    by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.

    Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional or intentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads-visit the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at www.nospank.net.

    Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea:

    American Academy of Pediatrics,
    American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
    American Psychological Association,
    Center For Effective Discipline,
    Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
    Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
    Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
    Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
    United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.

    In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

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  8. Is that last one a joke... did they read this post? Hahaha.... You're not nice... I'm not nice... dude above me, just because you like to get spanked and feel it's not for children, it doesn't mean you should post your thoughts on random peoples blog... get a clue tard, you're not advancing your cause, you're just annoying.

    Congrats Rob on getting a random wierdo to post.

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  9. You ARE a nice person. Always have been. And this made me laugh. A lot. And just so you know, I say "shut the front door" and "mother trucker". Not good. But, hey...I guess I'm not all that nice, either ;-)

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  10. DP, thanks for saying what you think. I love that you have my back on this blog.

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