Friday, April 29, 2011

My Journey To Jump

The following video is real....well parts of it are real. The part of me falling 12,500 feet is real. Just watch the video and you will know what I'm talking about...



We showed this on Easter at Waters Edge. It got a great response from the crowd. The question that I got asked most after the video was "did you really jump?" The answer is YES. I wish we had the technology to fake this type of thing. I also appreciate that people think that we could fake something like this. If we could we would have some really cool videos.
The video was filmed by Phil Poteat. Written by Phil Poteat and Rob Shepherd. The boom mic was held by Josh Fowler. It stars Rob Shepherd and Mr. Anderson.

Would you ever go skydiving?

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Mind Dump



My brain is constipated with random thoughts. It's time to free up some space with another Mind Dump...

  • I have some friends from England and I hope that they don't get offended by the following bullet...
  • I haven't cared about royal weddings since America broke off from England in that little war called Revolutionary. The media is all over this thing. I am happy the prince is getting married and I wish him the best...but I just don't care.
  • This past week my wife and I took our twins on their first walk. It was an adventure. We saw a dog run away from it's home. Now this dog wasn't just any dog. This dog was wearing a diaper. Even though he was wearing a diaper he continued to pop a squat and poo. He did this so many times that the poo started leaking out of the diaper. It was gag nasty and ha-larious.
  • Easter with Waters Edge was FANTASTIC! 5,588 people came to our services, and 757 people became Christ Followers. That's amazing!
  • The following video is how we opened the services. I think it was a very powerful way to introduce our theme...Jump. Enjoy...
  • This past Tuesday I did my very first Tuesday wedding. I like Tuesday weddings. It was at 11:00 AM and it was over by 11:15. I now think that all weddings should be at 11:00 AM on a Tuesday.
  • The movie, Lord of the Rings, has destroyed by ability to tell my baby girl that she is precious. I woke her up this week to feed her before I went to work. I said, and I quote, "good morning precious." I then paused and freaked because of Lord of the Rings. Curse you Gollum...curse you.
  • The Lakers are in the playoffs and it's killing me. Their games start at 10:30 PM. I don't get much sleep these days because of my one month old twins. Trying to stay awake for these games is a mild form of torture.
  • The Summer Movie Season starts on May 6 with Thor. Can you dig it?! I am out of my mind excited about this movie.
  • Last week I went skydiving. It was for a video for our Easter services. I hope to show the video later this week. I also hope to write a post on skydiving in the next couple of weeks. I have some pretty funny pictures that I can't wait to show.
  • I heard a song by The Cranberries the other day. They are probably the greatest band in the history of the world to be named after a fruit.
  • Are cranberries fruit?
  • Speaking of bands...NKOTBSB has released a song together. And middle aged women all over America just passed out.
  • Tornado's touched down in Gloucester which is just a few miles from my house. We drove through and saw the damage over the weekend. It's wild. Just a few hundred yards away from most of the damage is nothing but trees. If it would have touched down there it wouldn't have hurt anyone. It reminds me how fragile life truly is.
  • I am slap tired. Being a dad to twins will do that to you. If I stop moving I think I'll fall asleep. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
  • A friend of the blog, Lindsey, brought me Buffalo Chicken Dip. If my left hand was made of Buffalo Chicken Dip I'd eat it. I'd try to resist but after .5 nano seconds I would be unable to resist the yummy goodness that is Buffalo Chicken Dip.
  • Someone forgot to tell my 1 month old daughter that girls don't fart. She farts like a man.
Whew...I feel better now.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Easy A

On Monday I was off from work for Easter Monday. Since I work at a church and work all day on Easter our offices are closed on the Monday after. Now on this day off I was able to give my wife the day off. She went to a movie and lunch with a friend and I got the privilege of hanging out with my twins. 3 feedings, 3 changings, and yet some how I managed to watch a movie. It took about 5 hours to watch, but I made it through.
Have you seen the movie Easy A? It's a movie about a high school girl who lies about having sex. Rumors spread, more lies are told, and and hi jinx ensues. It's a modest attempt at re-creating the magic of classic John Hughes high school movies, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sixteen Candles etc. It's rated PG-13. Now this isn't a review of the movie. I thought it was ok, but it did make me sad.
In the movie the main character hits a low point and starts searching for answers. She first goes to look at the Bible, but she needs someone to explain it. She then goes to look for help from a pastor. I'm not sure what the makers of the movie were trying to say with these scenes. At first I loved it because she was looking for help from God. That is not something that you see in most movies. But then my heart broke because instead of finding answers she found judgement and confusion. I wish that the church could have helped her out.

The truth is that not everyone will look for answers from God. Some people will look for answers and the Bible won't answer them. Believe it or not but God doesn't answer every question that we have. The problem that I have with this movie is that she went searching and no one attempted to show her how God loves her and has a plan for her life. I think it's a sign of our times.

What if instead of being known for what we are against the church started being known for what we are for? What if instead of beating people over the head with our Bibles we showed people grace? What if instead of pretending to have all the answers we admitted that the Bible doesn't answer every question we will have, but God is big enough for us to still ask the questions? What if a confused high school girl comes looking for answers and instead of finding judgement she finds people who model God's love? That would be a movie I would really enjoy.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Private Life

Your private life is jacked up! There is a part of your life that you don't share with anyone. It could be an addiction, a thought that you don't even share with your spouse, or a weak moment that you don't think anyone will find out about. You have a private life and you should. Wait...do what?

I think all of us should have a private life, but I think that it should look different then it does for most. For most our private life is something that we are embarrassed about. And it should be. It's private because we are not proud of it. But I think we should have a private life that we are proud of. Let me explain...

Jesus said, " “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."

Jesus then goes on to talk about giving to the needy in secret, praying in secret, and fasting in secret. As a Christ Follower there are some things that are Tweet/Facebook worthy, but need to be kept in secret. As a Christ Follower we should have a private life that God is proud of.

Monday, April 25, 2011

I Told My Son To Shut Up

The following will probably eliminate me from parent of the year contention. I'm not sure that is really an award. Even if it's not an award the following will probably make non parents and perfect parents judge me. The following moments are not moments that I am proud of.

Here's the scene: It's 2:00 AM. My son, Hayden, was crying no scratch that freaking out um...still not it...hulking out.  I had tried everything to calm him down. Now he doesn't normally act this way so I wasn't used to this type of behavior. Normally after he is fed he is quiet and falls to sleep. Not this time. This time he screamed. My nerves were all but shot but then he took it to a whole notha level. He pooped. He pooped enough poo to make me yell, "OHHHHHHHHHH!" as soon as I opened the diaper. Now instead of letting me clean him in peace he kept hulking out. He was reacting so much he was kicking his legs into his own poo.

His twin sister is sleeping, I'm tired, and he's kicking his legs in his poo at 2:00 AM. It was rough. I finally clean him up and start to put the clean diaper on him and he sprays pee everywhere. I'm talking on me, on his face, and on his new un-used diaper. It was at this moment that in the midst of him screaming that I said, "shut up." Now shut up is not a phrase that Monica and I use to each other. It's not a phrase that I ever want to say to my kids. In fact it shocked my wife so much that she started crying. My wife doesn't cry so I knew I messed up.

Now Hayden hulked out often that night and into the morning. So much so that Monica called the doctor. I can't remember the official name but apparently Hayden has a baby version of acid reflux. He has to sleep in his car seat, take adult Malox, and he has to be propped up as he eats. I already felt bad about telling him to shut up, but now I felt worse. At least I now knew the reason for his actions.

I've said this on the blog before but hurt people hurt people. People that are hurting and don't deal with their hurt will often hurt others. Hayden was hurting and I didn't deal with it properly.

It makes me think about how I respond to others that are hurting. We tend to be reactionary and if someone is rude to us we lash out at them. But maybe they are hurting. Maybe we should show a little bit of grace. Maybe we shouldn't tell them to shut up. Maybe through caring for them they will get the help they need to not hurt anymore.

You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. - Jesus.

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you. - Solomon.

Friday, April 22, 2011

It's Easier To Please One

I am a bona fide people pleaser. I struggle with saying no. I hate the thought of someone being mad at me. I hate confrontation! I avoid that like the plague. I know all to well the problems that come with trying to please people. One of those problems is the fact that even when you try to please everyone you will let someone down. Try to plan a nice family outing and someone in your family will complain about the destination that you picked. Try to pick a game for a group of friends to play while hanging out and someone will declare their hate for your game. Eating for more than one? Good luck picking a restaurant that everyone will love. It's hard work trying to please multiple people.

It'd be a lot easier to try to please just one.

On the night before Jesus was crucified He prayed in agony over the thought of dying. I can't imagine the extreme amounts of anxiety that He must have felt while He thought about what was about to happen.

Stick with me on this one. Three weeks ago my wife gave birth to twins without an epidural. Her plan going in was to hook up to the epidural and enjoy the ride. About two hours before the twins came the doctor told her that her blood count was really low. He said that they could do an epidural but there is a great chance her blood wouldn't clot, she would go paralyzed, and no one would know until after the twins were born. So she didn't have an option but to not take an epidural. That next two hours was rough on her. It was the anticipation of the pain. My wife was a champ. It wasn't easy but the thought of the pain ended up being worse then the pain. Easy for me to say...I just sat there and watched it all happen. I think she would agree with me though.

Jesus could anticipate the pain He was about to go through because He knew why He was there. He was born into this world to die. He had 33 years to think about dying. I can't imagine that anticipation. For me I'd rather just die. I'd rather no one tell me what is about to happen. It would be awful thinking about what was about to happen. The anticipation of the pain would have led me to smite the soldiers when they came to arrest me. I would have whooped up on some people and showed them who is God. But not Jesus. Jesus went through with it. Why? He was trying to only please one.

Sure Jesus loves us and died for us but at the end of the day what helped Him make it through was His desire to only please one...God. Jesus even asked if there was another way. He didn't want to go through all the pain that He went through but He did it. I think we can learn from this. It's easier to please one then it is to please many.

Jesus was perfect and yet people still got ticked off at Him. At the end of the day Jesus could do what He had to do because He was driven to please one.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Arcade Games

I played the classic X-Men Arcade Game on my PS3 this past weekend. They have a bunch of old games that you can download. That game was awesome at the Arcade. Oh wait...that reminds me of another thing that I will have to explain to my kids. It would go something like this...

Rob - Reese and Hayden back when I was a kid we would go to the mall to play video games.
Reese and Hayden - like at the video game store to sample a game?
Rob - no, to this amazing place called the Arcade. It was filled with video games.
Reese and Hayden - Was it free?
Rob - No my children, you had to pay 50 cents each time you wanted to play a game. When you died the game was over and you had to pay more money.
Reese and Hayden - that sounds awful. What'd you get if you beat the game?
Rob - most of the time nothing. In fact people rarely beat the games because it cost too much money.
Reese and Hayden - that sounds unfortunate. Did you have to do that because you didn't have a game system?
Rob- um...no. I had one of those too. It was called a Nintendo.
Reese and Hayden - so why did you drive all the way to the mall to spend 50 cents on a game when you could have stayed at home and played on this Nintendo that you speak of.
Rob- well...I don't really know.
Reese and Hayden - that's probably why Arcades didn't make it to our time. Your generation was just silly.
Rob - um...well, you might have a point, but the 80's ruled and the cartoons in your day stink! Plus I changed your diapers and Hayden once farted so hard it sprayed poop on the wall.
Reese and Hayden - Good one dad.

So what's one thing from your childhood that your kids won't get to experience?

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

My Wife Is A Super Ninja Rockstar

People ask if having twins is hard. The answer is yes. But it's hard like playing a sport instead of hard like math. Let me explain. Math is difficult because math is of the devil. The Bible says that God is not a God of confusion and math is confusing as all get out. When I was forced to take math classes it was hard work. It was work that felt pointless and it was work that I hated. I'd rather own a cat than do math and I hate the thought of owning a cat.

Playing sports on the other hand was hard work but I loved it. Practicing three to five times a week was hard work. Playing sports in high school involved sacrifice because it takes a lot of time. Playing sports was work but I never felt like it was work because I loved it! That's how it is with the twins. Oh and it doesn't hurt that my wife is a super ninja rock star...

My wife is awesome. Wait...my wife is beyond awesome. Now when I give people a compliment it normally includes a reference to them being a superhero, a ninja, or a rock star. My wife is so legit she's all of them combined. She's a super ninja rock star because...
  • She's mad patient with me. When I get stressed I speak in short sentences and I get intense. We had one of those moments the other night at circa 3:30 AM. My son, Hayden, was crying Hulking OUT. Screaming, yank his head around backwards, turning purple type crying. I was trying to get his musical sound machine to work and it wasn't. I was then trying to take it off the crib and it was attached tighter then a mouth full of Super Glue. I started freaking out and she stayed calm. She's amazing.
  • She thinks ahead for me. I am not great with details. I think about things when I need them. For example...if it weren't for her I'd walk out of the house with the twins but without a diaper bag, formula, pacifier etc. My wife packs all that stuff and thinks through what we need.
  • She preps bottles before the next feeding. Unfortunately for us her milk isn't coming in so we have to use formula. We go through a lot of bottles. When I go to fix a bottle she has already put it together and set it in front of the formula. It makes it so easy for me.
  • We just had our twins' first baby photos taken. I posted some on Monday's post. She wanted to make sure that they got a picture taken with basketballs and that the Lakers were featured. She did that because I love the Lakers! Amazing!
  • She brags on me in public. I am a hot mess as a dad. I am learning as I'm going and that means that I make a lot of mistakes. I hear her talking to others and she always talks about what a great dad I am. All men desire respect and having respect from my wife makes me a better man.
I love my super ninja rock star of a wife. Who do you know that's a Super Ninja Rockstar?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Pushing Through Imperfections

I don't come perfect. If you want me as a friend, employee, husband, or blogger you will have to take my imperfections.

I am a pretty good friend. I make the phone call just to say "what up." I try to take interest in what my friends are interested in. I try to be a good friend, but I'm not perfect. I am sensitive. I potentially will play "Would You Rather" for hours at a time. I will be very judgemental of your movie choices. I will ask for your help when it comes to fixing my house, or car. I stink at fixing things. If you want my friendship it's going to come with my imperfections.

I am a pretty good employee. I try to honor my boss and the other people I work with. I try to say good morning when I show up to work. You'd think that would be easy, but it's not. I try to help others out even when it doesn't fall under my job description. I feel like I bring a lot of creativity and fun to my job. I try to be a good employee, but I'm not perfect. I stink at administration. I will forget some details. If you want to work with me it's going to come with my imperfections.

I am a pretty good husband. I try to serve my wife. I try to be the spiritual leader of our home. I compliment my wife and from time to time I'll even watch one of her girly shows with her. Hello, Vampire Diaries. I try to be a good husband, but I'm not perfect. I often forget to be romantic. I don't take enough initiative around the house. I can't fix anything. If you want me to be married to me (hopefully that only applies to my wife) it's going to come with my imperfections.

I am a pretty good blogger. I blog five times a week. I try to make most of my posts short. I try to mix up my content with humor, personal, and spiritual posts. I try to be a good blogger, but I'm not perfect. I will misspell things even though there is a spell checker. I'll put your when it should be you're. I will mix up then and than. I will have multiple mistakes each day until my wife reads the post and tells me what to correct. Most of the time she reads my blog first thing and I can take care of the mistakes before too many people read it. If you want to read my blog it's going to come with my imperfections.

I think we all know that people aren't perfect but we rarely treat people that way. We like to accept people for the things they are good at but we judge, critique, or put down their imperfections. The truth is that if you want to have relationships it's going to come with their good and their bad. The truth is we need each other because we aren't perfect.

"Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ." - 1 Corinthians 12:12.

I think that if we could fathom how much we really need each other we'd get along a lot better. Your body comes with multiple parts that make up the whole. Each part plays their part. Even though it seems pointless your second kidney is there for a reason. I'm not sure what the reason for the second kidney is since you can donate one and still live...oh wait...maybe that's the reason. We need each other like we need a second kidney, a thumb, a butt, a face etc. I need you where I am weak and you need me where you are weak.

Sure I try to work on my imperfections, but I will never master them. I need others and other people need me. We need each other. 

Monday, April 18, 2011

I'm Glad I'm Not A Baby

I love that I have twin babies. I love it, but it constantly reminds me that I would hate to be a baby. Sure it comes with some good things like being waited on hand and foot, being able to take multiple naps in a day, and not having to worry about matching your clothes because  you can wear a onesie. But I'll take being an adult over being a baby every day.  Here are some things that make me glad I'm not a baby.
  • They scream to communicate. Hungry = scream. Gas = scream. Tired = scream. Bored = scream. Dancing with the Stars is on the TV = scream. Now granted that last one is from me screaming, but you get the point. I like being able to communicate by speaking instead of just screaming.
  • They poo and pee in their pants. Granted sometimes this would save some time, but it would stink (pun intended) to sit in your own poo until someone changes you.
  • They get swaddled in straight jackets. I hate...let me repeat...I hate going to a hotel and getting into the hotel bed. Stay with me on this. It's so binding and tucked in that it feels like being swaddled. I kick like an infant until I get the sheets untucked from the bed. I can't imagine being swaddled as an adult.
  • They get diaper rash and and need butt paste. Okay these could be two separate bullet points, but they kind of go together. I don't get rashes...thankfully. I also don't have to keep butt paste for myself. I didn't know this until this past week, but when you apply butt paste you have to rub it in with your finger. Your FINGER. My wife loves me, but I don't know if she'd put butt paste on me.
  • They only eat liquid. Have you ever been on a liquid diet? I have. It was called fasting. It was for God and it was awful. I am so glad I get to eat Chipotle.
  • They can't see. I don't know how far they can see, but I know it's not far. I like to see.
  • They go cross eyed, their eyes roll up in their heads, and they throw up. As an adult that is a clear sign that you are possessed by a demon or two.
  • They can't keep a pacifier in their mouth. If it didn't cause them to suffocate, I'd be a HUGE fan of a pacifier that could be attached to a babies face. Similar to those contraptions that come with some braces. My twins love a pacifier, but they can't keep it in their mouth. I'd hate to have something I love slip away from me so easily.
Now that I think of it a lot of these things apply to getting really old. That sounds like a blog post for another day.

I'm glad I'm not a baby, but I sure do love the two that God gave me! Enjoy some pics from their first photo shoot provided by Barbspencerphotography.com...







So what'd I miss? What is one thing that babies do that you are thankful you don't have to do?

Saturday, April 16, 2011

A Letter To Hair

Many moons ago I posted a letter to my hair. I was reminded by this post when the wind blew and I then looked into a mirror. This post is just as much true today as it was way back then. In case you missed it, enjoy...
____________________________________________________
Dear Hair,


I really appreciate you. In fact I'd look really weird if my body was completely hairless. You provide warmth for my head, as my eye brows you provide a sweat catcher, and because of shaving you give me something to do in the morning. In other words I'm grateful for you.

With all the good you do I hate to nitpick but there are a few things that I just don't understand. I don't understand why you decide to grow and not grow. Why are you on my back when I don't want you to be? At the same time you're leaving my head where I really want you. Don't you want to go where you are welcomed?

I also don't get what causes you to grow. Why did you decide to start growing on my ears? Are you like a plant who leaves seeds when it falls. Did you fall off my head and onto my ears, and back? Don't get me wrong I don't have it as bad as some guys, but I'm curious.

If there is anything I've done to tick you off and make you want to leave my head then I'm sorry. Please don't take it out on the rest of my body.

Trying to understand,

Rob

P.S. Please stop growing out of my nose. Instead put that same effort into the top of my head and I'll be a happy man

Friday, April 15, 2011

Messy Christianity

Sometimes the story doesn't have a happy ending.

I sometimes think about how it's easy to confuse following Jesus with the American dream. It goes something like this...if you work hard enough then God will bless you. It's the idea that if I just do what I am supposed to do I will automatically get a blessing. While I do think that following God blesses your life I am reminded time and time again that sometimes following Jesus is messy.

Some may argue if the following actually love God, but I know Christ Followers who are addicted to pornography, smoke pot, think about suicide, cut themselves to feel better, gossip, lie, are divorced, on medication to help with anxiety, cuss, get drunk, and think that Moe's is better than Chipotle. All of these things don't fit into the pretty picture of the American dream or following Christ. They believe but they are still waiting for their blessing from God.

Sometimes Christianity is messy.

I know people who do their best to follow and love God and yet still suffer. Have you read about John the Baptist? When you start reading his story he has everything going for him. He's related to Jesus, he's passionate about God, and he is being used to change the world. You'd think he'd have a happy ending, but he didn't. He was beheaded. Sometimes Christianity is messy.

Being a Christian won't make you perfect and it won't guarantee that you won't struggle. Some Christians have a messy life because of the choices they make and some have a messy life because we live in a messy world. It almost feels like a darned if you do darned if you don't.

I wish following God equaled a perfect life without struggle but if it does I haven't found it yet.

What I have found is that Jesus breaks through my mess and heals me.What I have found is a God who is closer then a loved one during times of messiness. What I have found is that even though Christianity can be messy it's worth it.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Mind Dump

My brain is constipated with random thoughts. It's time to free up some space with another Mind Dump...
  • Are you watching this season of American Idol? I think it's the best overall yet. Mad talent.
  • Speaking of Mad...Does anyone else think that Scotty from American Idol looks like the real life version of the kid from Mad Magazine?
  • I hate nutrition. Things that taste good are never good for you and things that taste bad are. Formula for my babies smells awful, so it's probably good for the babies?
  • I blog about what's on my mind and as of late my twins, Reese and Hayden have been on my mind. They are 2 weeks old as of yesterday.
  • One of my favorite things about having twins is all the great food that people have brought us for dinner. I love the good food!
  • A good friend dropped off a GIANT bag of M & M's. Remember when their slogan was "melts in your mouth and not in your hands"? Do you think they changed that cause it's a lie?
  • The twins have already made their presence on the blog world. I LOVE this post by ironicmom.com - surviving the first week with Newborns.
  • They also got a shout in the very funny March Movie Madness wrap-up song. If you've been following the blog then you know I was in a movie tournament called Mark Movie Madness over at educlaytion.com.  My movie, The Dark Knight, was doing great until my twins were born. They were born during the voting and I wasn't able to pimp out my film on Twitter or Facebook in the Elite 8. I lost, but it was still a lot of fun. The video was written by Chase McFadden. If you watch the NCAA tournament you will recognize this song...enjoy
  •  
  • Some people would call what my twins do at 3:00 a.m. as screaming. I like to think of it as harmonizing in the baby monitor.
  • Which show do you think is better, Dancing with the Stars or American Idol? Decide the winner by voting on the new poll at robshep.com. For the record I'd rather be slapped in the face repeatedly by a wet noodle then watch Dancing with the Stars. Thankfully my wife DVR's it and I don't have to watch.
  • I love the Baptist handshake. I first learned about the Baptist handshake when I was attending a Baptist church in college. I didn't grow up Baptist so I didn't know such a thing existed. Here's the scene...someone walks up to you like they want to talk to you. They then shake your hand, but wait! Instead of a regular handshake they sneak some money into your palm. That my friends is the baptist handshake. I received my first Baptist handshake since college at church this weekend.
  • Monica and I watched the movie Unstoppable. That movie was intense! It reminded me a lot of Speed. Speed minus the terrorist, Keanu, and the Bus.
  • I re-watched the new Star Trek movie this past weekend. That movie is action packed and makes you appreciate Star Trek. I've always been a Star Wars guy. If you haven't seen it you should give it a chance. Good stuff. Now I had a thought while watching the movie. In the beginning of the film a girl is giving birth in space. I would think that in a time where we can "beam" people up they'd find a way for women to give birth without all the screaming. Just sayin'.
  • The NBA playoffs begin this weekend. I am excited because I love the Lakers, but I'm also scared. I'm not what you would call a confident fan. I have my doubts until they win the championship. Some people talk junk and have a ton of confidence in their team. Not I. I love this time of year but I get stressed.
  • I love the Amazing Race. It's such a good show.
  • I am slap tired. Besides going to the bathroom in a toilet, the thing I'm most excited for my twins to learn is how to sleep through the night.
  • I just got a copy of Rob Bell's book Love Wins. It's stirred up some controversy. One of my friends, and former blogger, Josh Fowler said that the book should have been called Marketing Wins. I thought that was funny. I've read enough reviews to know I don't like the direction he takes. I am still interested to read it so I can form my own opinion.
  • A week from this Sunday is Easter. Can you dig it?! Check out EasterRocks.com if you live within 722 miles from the 757.
  • So the summer movie season now begins in April? Do what? I saw a commercial for Fast Five (the new Fast and the Furious movie) and they claim the summer movie starts with them.
Whew...I feel better now.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Fatherhood

So I've been a dad of twins for two weeks now. I love it even more then I thought I would. Here are some of my thoughts for my first two weeks of fatherhood...
  • I hated holding other people's babies. Especially when the babies couldn't hold their own head up. HATED it. I love holding my babies. I sit for long periods of time just holding one of the twins.
  • Putting babies in a WWE choke hold move is my least favorite thing about parenting...so far. I know babies need to burp after they eat but I am not a fan of the suggested choke hold. My son Hayden will look up at my after 2 or 3 pats on the back with a look that says, "seriously?" I hate the look.
  • I go to sleep hearing things. I close my eyes and I hear crying. I look at the baby monitor and it's not moving. I close my eyes again and I hear crying. I repeat this 3 or 4 times and then finally fall asleep.
  • I smell baby poop. I smell poop even when there is no poop to smell. I have smelt poop in my car, while jogging, and just wafting in the air at home.
  • Babies startle easy. You know when you wake up because you startled? It's this leg shaking, what the heck type moment. I call it the sleep startles. It happens to babies all the time.
  • I wish that babies snored. I don't like when they cry but when they cry I know they are alive. When it's silent I get nervous. I check on the twins constantly to make sure they are still breathing. This is when I see them get the sleep startles.
  • Beware of Flathead. After being a parent for a full week the doctor told us about Flathead. Flathead? Apparently if you don't give babies belly time they get Flathead from being on their backs all the time.
  • Some advice just doesn't make sense. The nurses told us not to wake the babies for anything. Then she told us that we must not keep them in a dirty diaper. So does the dirty diaper trump the don't wake rule? She also said that they need to stay nice and warm. "You can't keep a baby warm enough" she said. A few minutes later she tells us not to make them too warm because babies stop breathing when they are too warm. Do what?!
  • With all the rules of raising babies I am shocked that human race is still alive. How did we survive before people washed their hands, had hospitals, car seats etc.? I mean seriously, Jesus was born in a stable. A stable. A stable without changing tables, baby wipes, disinfecting pads for their umbilical cord (more on that in a second), diapers, hand sanitizer etc.
  • I cut the umbilical cord, but that thing still takes 7 to 10 days to fall off. Currently it looks like a shriveled piece of bacon coming out of their belly button.
  • I wondered if my son would attempt to latch on to my nipple. When he's hungry he roots around and makes a sucking noise. He often starts eating my arm. I offered him my nipple to see what he'd do and he wasn't even remotely interested. I think it means he's a genius already.
  • Both my kids are escape artists. We swaddle them tighter then a straight jacket and like Houdini they find a way to get at least one of their hands free and on to their face.


So if you are a parent what is the one thought that you resonate with the most? If you are not a parent what is the one thought that surprised you?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Critical People

I have wrestled with this blog for a few weeks now. I feel like I could never get it exactly where I wanted it. I have finally just decided to post it as is and see where it lands. Let me know your thoughts.

I have a theory about being critical. I think that in a lot of cases being critical can be sign of passion. For example a person who doesn't care about basketball is most likely not going to yell at the refs at a basketball game. Why? They aren't passionate about it. On the other hand someone that is passionate about basketball will be more critical of the refs.

I am really critical about movies. Bad movies drive me crazy. I sometimes wish that I could just enjoy movies like most of my friends, but I can't. I am critical. I am passionate about movies so I expect more from them.

I am really critical about church services. I wish I could sit through a church service and not critique everything. I am critical because I am passionate about church.

Some people are critical of fashion, other people's parenting, bad grammar, or overweight people. I am betting that they are critical because they are passionate about those things.

Now the problem with being critical is it tears down something or someone else. The alternative is to not be passionate about anything. Maybe my theory is wrong but I know for myself I am most critical about the things I am most passionate about.

I think that the times I am most critical expose the times that I understand God's grace the least. God loves us not because we perform. God loves us not because we obey. God loves us not because we don't make mistakes. God loves us in spite of our mistakes. God's grace is amazing. And yet when someone else doesn't meet our expectations we criticize.

So here's my thought...if our critical thought can make something better then we should say the truth in love. On the other hand if our thought doesn't make anything better then we should keep the thought to ourselves. When we have a thought that we should keep to ourselves we should replace it with, if not for the grace of God I would be _____. Fill in the blank with whatever would fit.

So what are you most critical about?

Monday, April 11, 2011

I'm Not Afraid Anymore! Do You Hear Me? I'm Not Afraid Any More! AHHHHHHHHH

I've been afraid of...
  • being drafted to fight in a war. I was a kid but I lost some sleep over this one. I think it was after I watched Rambo for the first time at a friend's house.
  • dying at nighttime by a tornado. Again I was a kid but I lived in Kansas and my bedroom was on the second floor. Oh, and I was on the top bunk in a bunk bed. For some reason being in a bunk bed made me that much more scared. I used to ask Jesus into my heart every night before bed out of fear of dying from a tornado.
  • rejection.
  • confrontation.
  • the word moist.
  • mayonnaise.
  • change.
  • getting Aids. Magic Johnson was my favorite player growing up and when he got HIV most people thought it was a disease for homosexuals. Since he was a straight man it opened up fear into a lot of people...including me.
  • jogging more than a mile.
  • failure.
  • missing out. I hate missing out on things that I think would be fun.
  • changing in the locker room. I'm not going to lie this still scares me. I avoid seeing old naked guys bare it all at all costs. That means I don't change at the gym.
  • asking a girl out.
  • babies. Babies can't hold their head up and that scares me.
  • having babies. I was scared I wouldn't be good at being a dad.
  • changing diapers. Up until a week ago I'd never changed a diaper.
There is a scene in one of my all time favorite movies that goes something like this...
"Hey, I'm not afraid any more! I said I'm not afraid any more! Do you hear me? I'm not afraid any more!"
[Old Man Marley approaches Kevin and stares at him - Kevin runs back inside, screaming like a maniac]

The scene is from Home Alone. Kevin McCallister has just conquered his fear of the scary water heater. He runs out to declare his new found confidence only to see his scary neighbor, Old Man Marley. He runs back into the house screaming, AHHHHHHH! I often feel like Kevin McCallister.

As you can see by my list I've been afraid of a lot of things. It seems like every time I boldly declare that I'm not afraid a new fear turns me into a scaredy-kitty.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." - The Bible.

I love this verse! It says that perfect love drives out fear. I was reminded of this as I was changing my son Hayden's diaper. Right before I strapped the new diaper on he farted. You know what it's called when you fart and poo comes out? Yeah, he did that. Except when he did it poo shot out onto the changing table, my shirt, and the wall. The wall for crying out loud! Just a few weeks ago I was scared of this. Not anymore. I love Hayden, and I'm not afraid anymore.

The Bible says that God is love. It's amazing how God loving us can give us confidence to overcome our worst fears. He is perfect love and He drives out fear. I may forget this tomorrow and run screaming back into my house, but for now I'm yelling "I'm not afraid anymore!"

What is something that you have been afraid of?

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Advice For A New Dad: A Series of Guest Posts Part 6

So it's official...I'm a dad. My twins were born last week and that means I don't have time to blog. In my absence I asked some friends, acquaintances, and some people I don't know to guest post. Today's post is provided by the following: Clayton King. God saved Clayton King when he was 14 years old, and the same night he was saved he felt God call him into the ministry. He surrendered to that call and since age 14 has preached to almost 2 million people in 23 countries and 45 states. He, his wife Charie, and their two sons Jacob and Joseph live in Boiling Springs, NC. An extra note about Clayton. Four years ago after Monica and I had a miscarriage Clayton prayed that God would give us twins. He was the first person to say something about twins and yet alone pray it. When he said it Monica and I smiled because it seemed like a bold prayer. This past week God answered that prayer. Our son, Hayden's, middle name is named after Clayton King.
_____________________________________________

Getting married, for me, was easy. Having kids, on the other hand, was the hardest thing I've ever experienced.
Getting married has advantages. You are dealing with another adult. They know how to talk. And feed themselves. And get dressed. And they usually sleep through the night. Babies don't naturally think how inconvenient they are. They come as clean slates ready to be filled up and packed with information, experiences, and love. That is why God gave them parents. We get the blessing of stock piling them with faith, values, beliefs, compassion, tenderness, wisdom, and goodness.
No one taught me how to be a dad in seminary. And nobody warned me that my life was about to take such an abrupt turn that it would result in physical and emotional whiplash. Or maybe they did try to prepare me, and I was just too busy or stubborn to listen. Either way, becoming a dad was a glorious and frightening experience; a real shock to my system.

I compare it to performing brain surgery. In the dark. Self-taught. No prior experience. Without a manual or an instructor.

Okay, that may be a bit over the top, but I am trying to make a point...that becoming a parent is no small thing. As a matter of fact, when you gaze upon your first born child lying in your arms or the arms of your spouse, still set and sticky and new, the realization sets in that the little human you are now responsible is really your best chance to actually change the world.

My boys are now 8 and 5 years old, respectively. I wonder every single day if I am doing a good job. My wife and I talk constantly about the way we are raising them, and there are so many questions we have; are our kids too busy? Should they be playing more or less sports? Are we cramming the Bible down their throats or should be be memorizing more scripture? Is their public school ok or should we be better Christians and homeschool them?

The questions (and the confusion) will never go away. As a matter of fact, it is proof that we love our kids, that we take the responsibility seriously, and that we are constantly being reminded that we must trust God with our children.
All the hard work is worth it. Dirty diapers and sleepless nights are a small price to pay for the fierce, messy, heart-pounding love that you feel when your child grins at you, climbs up in your lap, or prays a still, precious prayer before a meal that makes you choke back laughter.

Charie and I decided to embrace all the joys and struggles of parenting together. We are a team. We are united in our vision to raise two mighty men of God, who are mature, hard working, compassionate Christians that will live out the gospel in whatever direction God leads them to as men.

Never has anything taught me to deny myself like my children. I praise God for them. I love them. I cannot imagine life without them.

Clayton King

Friday, April 8, 2011

Advice For A New Dad: A Series of Guest Posts Part 5

So it's official...I'm a dad. My twins were born last week and that means I don't have time to blog. In my absence I asked some friends, acquaintances, and some people I don't know to guest post. Today's post is provided by the following: Leanne Shirtliffe. Leanne is the mother of six-year-old twins, William and Vivian. She blogs at IronicMom.com, where her motto is “If you can’t laugh at yourself, laugh at your kids.” When she’s not parenting, writing, or being walked to her car, she teaches middle school, where dealing with other people’s kids seems remarkably easier than managing her own spawn.
_______________________________________



In order to offer cutting edge and original advice to a new father, I decided to do some primary source research. I took my six-year-old twins, William and Vivian, out to a restaurant that supplies kids with wax crayons, and I interviewed them.


Here is the transcript, minus the broken crayon tantrum.

QUESTION 1: What would you say to a dad who has just had twins? What is important for a daddy of new twins to do?

Vivian: He should make sure the twins like each other.

Me: How do you do that?

Vivian: You trick them.

William: You have to play with them.

Me: How do you play with them?

William: You play jumping on mommy.

QUESTION 2: What should a daddy do if he’s alone and both babies start crying?

William: Play jumping on mommy.

Me: But Mommy’s not there.

William: Why not?

Vivian: Sing a Rock-a-Bye song.

QUESTION 3: Finish my sentence. Babies are __.

Vivian: Cranky.

William. Mom, do you know how to jump checkers?

Me: Answer the question. Babies are what?

William: Happy.

QUESTION 4: Babies are happiest when __.

Vivian: You lift them up and spin them around.

William: Mom, can we go see Killer Whales sometime?

Me: Answer the question. When are babies happiest?

William: When you make funny faces at them.

QUESTION 5: The #1 job of a dad is to __.

Vivian: Do joking.

William: Mom, can I have a cookie for dessert?

Me: Answer the question. What’s the most important job of a dad with babies?

William: Play games.

Me: What kind of games?

William: Tic-Tac-Toe.

QUESTION 6: Mommies are happiest when __.

Vivian: They go out writing.

William: Mom, can I watch Transformers tonight?

Me: Answer the question. When are mommies happiest?

William: When they’re tickled.

Vivian: Mommies also like compliments.

QUESTION 7: The best way for daddies to help mommies is to __.

Vivian: Give them ideas for writing things.

William: What? I wasn’t listening.

Me: What’s the best way for a daddy to help a mommy?

William: By showing her the way to the car.

So, Rob, whether you’re playing “jumping on mommy” or showing Monica the way to the car, may this advice offer some sort of reprieve from sleepless nights.

And in the words of Anne Lamott, “Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world’s worst roommate, like having Janis Joplin with a bad hangover and PMS come stay with you.”

Good luck with that. Times two.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Advice For A New Dad: A Series of Guest Posts Part 4

So it's official...I'm a dad. My twins were born last week and that means I don't have time to blog. In my absence I asked some friends, acquaintances, and some people I don't know to guest post. Today's post is provided by the following: Matt Orth is married to Shannon (since 1995!) and they have a daughter named Micah (born on 1/1/99) who could grow up to be the next George Lucas, lead a band of South American rebels to freedom, or be president of the United States. In addition to loving good movies and being an aspiring writer, Matt also likes the Philadelphia Eagles, good coffee, J.R.R. Tolkein, ultimate Frisbee, reading, Bill Mallonee and hiking with his family.
_____________________________________________________

Rob,

Thanks for asking me to write this blog for you. . .I'm really not surprised you asked though because I've pretty much been the perfect parent all my life. I recognized my parental greatness way before I even had kids, I just watched how kids that weren't mine acted in public and then made snap judgements about their parents' deficiencies. It wasn't much of a jump to assume from my ability to ascertain others' faults that I had the makings of paternal greatness about me. And then I had my first baby and I knew that I was right.

Since you asked for a post on some tips on being a new parent, here are some of my sure-fire principles for being the awesomest dad ever:

1. Always assume your wife is super-human and wants to spend every waking moment with her new spawn. She really doesn't want to hang out with other humans, especially her friends, and so you should probably just let her stay in the wonderful confines of your home for the first 3 months. Your wife will also be able to keep up with all domestic duties and so you shouldn't worry about having to pick up any slack.
2. Babies don't remember anything for a while. So, before they ruin your life by demanding all your time (once they get mobile and vocal) you should really live it up. Don't worry about building time into your schedule now with your kids, you will have plenty of time to wedge it in later.
3. New babies really make a lot of noise. I've always found it helpful to try and "out-scream" them. This is especially great if I'm concurrently watching a sporting event, it's like multi-tasking. Your wife may think this makes it go on longer and make everyone more stressed, but if I actually took the time to figure out the best technique to calm my child, I might miss some of the Geico commercials during the game.
4. Everybody will give you advice, you should take all of it. Kids are all the same: crying, wriggling, pooping little sausages made of cartilage. . .it may "seem" like the advice is contradictory and all over the spectrum, just ignore that and any so-called "uniqueness" to your kids and listen to everybody.
5. If you have any feelings of inadequacy, that is not normal! You should hysterically call 9-1-1 or shoot over to ParentsWebMD and diagnose this malady immediately. No great parent EVER feels unsure of themselves or overwhelmed by such a teensy little burden. If you are struggling with this, keep quiet about it!! It's embarrassing and everyone will judge you. (I already think less of you just thinking about it)
And if you're having twins, just double these tips. . .and for triplets, triple the advice. More than three kids? Hire a male nanny who can mimic your dad-like properties.

Well, that's about it, gotta go teach my daughter how to juggle knives. She's pretty sharp for a 3 year old.

Matt O.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Advice For A New Dad: A Series of Guest Posts Part 3

So it's official...I'm a dad. My twins were born last week and that means I don't have time to blog. In my absence I asked some friends, acquaintances, and some people I don't know to guest post. Today's post is provided by the following: Chad Childress. Chad was my youth pastor. He's married to an awesome wife who taught me how to make homemade popcorn, and she makes a red velvet cake that will force you to slap your mama. It's that good. He's been my role model for youth ministry...oh and he still owes me a box of ice cream sandwiches because he lost to Chad Johnson (no not the football player) and me in basketball. Enjoy...
__________________________________________
Advice for New Fathers

So, what right do I have to give advice? Well, my wife and I have done the new baby thing four times. Twin boys who turn 15 on April 12th (the original due date for Monica until she gave up and pushed them babies out early), a soon to be 13 year old son, and a 9 year old daughter. I have walked Rob's road before and I have some advice for him and other "new" fathers.

0. Avoid Mission Drift - You are still first and foremost a husband. Don't neglect your wife. You will get your baby(s) home and will be consumed with all the responsibility of being daddy, but you better remember who birthed them. Your wife may go through some crazy emotions, cry about anything...everything....and nothing all at the same time, and even ignore you. Don't let that happen. You were a family before kids, don't let a kid(s) mess that up.
1. Babies are Resilient - That little helpless bundle of joy is not as fragile as you think. They are more like rubber bands than fine china. They will fall off the couch, bed, etc. They will cry and may even stop breathing...only to catch their breath to cry some more. But, they will be ok. We have only had one broken bone among our four kids. That's like lotto ratio kinda stuff.
2. Breathe from the Corner - When changing diapers, and yes you better change diapers, breathe from the corner of your mouth. You don't want any taste of that wonderment by breathing from your nose or breathing straight on.
3. Take Cover - When changing diapers, especially boys, be prepared. You can't leave that thing unattended, unless you want pee all over you and the walls. Have that other diaper ready or put a burp rag over that thing.
4. Watch Advice from Others (with the exception of all I have written above) - Some times, people couch their opinion under the slick guise of advice. Watch out for those people, they didn't breathe from the corner. There are also a lot of people who must not like being a parent of their kid. That's sad! They probably got peed on. Get good counsel when you need it and figure the rest out on your own...there will be way more stories later.
5. Pray like Crazy - You need God. They need God. Pray.

So, there ya go.

Chad Childress

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Advice For A New Dad: A Series of Guest Posts Part 2

So it's official...I'm a dad. My twins were born last week and that means I don't have time to blog. In my absence I asked some friends, acquaintances, and some people I don't know to guest post. Today's post is provided by the following: Ben Arment. Ben helps people launch great things. He's the founder of Dream Year and STORY in Chicago. He wrote a book called Church in the Making. His lives with his wife Ainsley in Virginia Beach and they have 3 cowboys, Wyatt, Dylan and, Cody.
___________________________________
Advice to a New Father

As the father of three little boys, I've learned much of my fathering wisdom by trial and error. Rob, to save you the time and effort of learning how to do it, I've put together a list of the most essential truths of parenting:
1. By now, you should have realized that just because your wife wanted a milkshake while she was pregnant doesn't mean you should have gotten one too. She's been feeding an extra life form inside of her. I'm sorry to say you don't have a similar excuse. Time to hit the gym.

2. Never engage in any activity that appears with great frequency on America's Funniest Videos (whacking piñatas with large wooden sticks, jumping on trampolines or trying to hurdle over above-ground pools). Much of your antics with the child will be recorded on video. Avoid appearing on that show at all costs.

3. Keep a stack of diapers in the trunk of your car along with some magazines. When your wife suddenly shouts, "Rob, we're out of diapers!" take this opportunity to park around the corner and enjoy some much-needed time of relaxation. These might be your only opportunities.

4. The baby will sleep soundly for several months. But your boss does not need to know this. Use this stage of life to hand off less than desired assignments and justify frequent trips to Starbucks during the workday. You only have about three months of empathy, so take advantage of it while it lasts.

5. Avoid lugging that big car seat around. Invest in a small pop-up stroller that accommodates the car seat and saves you years of back pain. Don't try to be a hero.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Advice For A New Dad: A Series of Guest Posts Part 1

So it's official...I'm a dad. My twins were born last week and that means I don't have time to blog. In my absence I asked some friends, acquaintances, and some people I don't know to guest post. Today's post is provided by the following: Tyler Tarver. Tyler is a ha-larious blogger who passionately dislikes all things Hayden Christiensen, makes funny videos at whatthejazz.com, teaches math for a living, and has a son named Titus with his wife Amanda. Enjoy!
______________________________________________


When Rob asked me to write a guest post I went straight to my computer and procrastinated. Then I looked up at the last minute and I’m finished, and I don’t remember writing it. So…let’s hope for the best.

All my advice is for people with boys up to 8 months, because past that I’m walking with my eyes closed like a Daredevil on a treadmill. That’s a comic book and exercise reference combined, you don’t see that often. You’re welcome Internet.

Advice for New Dads

The 3 C’s: At the 1-3 month stage this kid’s real fresh. You’re pretty much keeping the thing alive. Don’t expect much response from the kid. Also, he’s not great at catch so just put the slider on hold there Greg Maddox.

What you can expect are the 3 C’s:

Crying

Consumption

Crapping

Expect all 3 more routinely than you can expect to see Brangelina on a magazine on the checkout aisle.

My advice, master the diaper technique quickly, a well-constructed defecation constrainer is like gooey green music to her ears.

The Golden Retriever: A dad’s job for the first few months is a glorified Fed Ex worker. The wife needs a water? Get it. Baby? Okie dokie. Sandwich? Here ya go. Sprite when none is located in home? Ten minutes to a gas station at 1 am, be right back.

Titus had been sleeping through the night for about a week or two cause of this whole Along the Infant Way book (which is like excellent baby advice on crack for Christians), and my wife woke me up to go get him like she did every morning at 6.

Well, I pick up T and start my delivery, when my wife comes in looking at me like I just shot her favorite pick on The Bachelor. Turns out, it was 3 in the morning and she wanted me to go tell the dogs to shutup. Took me an hour and a half to get him back to sleep.

What did we learn class?

Make sure you follow all commands from the Mothership precisely. Lose focus for one minute and you’ll find yourself singing the only line of “Rock-a-by Baby” you know 164 times at 4 am.

Keep your Cool: Most likely, she’s gonna freak about anything and everything. He sneezes, he’s got malaria. Pees too much, he’s got malaria.

You gotta keep your cool like Justin Timberlake building a snowman. Your chillness will counteract her spazziness, which will hopefully land you right where you need at the corner of Concernedness and Calmville.

Anybody else got any advice?

Ps Rob, since you’re having twins, just read this twice.
 

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Blogging Advice and A Few Shout Outs

I wrestle with giving blogging advice. I have been blogging for 3 years this month, but I don't feel like I'm good enough to give advice. Lately I have been asked more and more for some advice from people who are just starting to blog. I started thinking that since I am being asked I might as well post about it. So here is my best advice...
  • If you want to blog then you have to blog. A lot of people love the idea of blogging but after a few weeks they stop blogging. They add to the junkyard of un-updated blogs. I once heard a blogging expert say that the best advice he could give to bloggers is to blog. Even if your content stinks, blog. There are people out there that will enjoy your stink'n blog.
  • Don't feel like you have to hit a home run with every post. Even the best baseball player strikes out...and they strike out a lot. The point is that if you want to homer you have to get up to bat. In other words it's better to try and hit consistent singles than to wait for that home-run post. Eventually you will get a home-run, but don't wait for it.
  • Track your stats. When I first started blogging I couldn't buy a comment. Even to this day sometimes I post and when I look at the comments I hear the sound of crickets. Stats tell you if someone is coming. Even when I don't get a comment I can tell that someone is reading the blog.
  • Read lots of blogs. I have learned a lot just by looking at other blogs. I see what I like and don't like and then attempt to make my blog better.
  • Make time to blog. I write two to four posts every Monday morning. I get to go into work at 9:30 instead of 8:30 on Mondays. I use the extra hour to blog. A lot of times I write out a blog and I hate it. I save it for later in the week and tweek it when I have time.
  • Use bullets. A lot of people don't like to read long posts. You can fool those people by making short bullet points in your posts. I still try to not have too long of posts, but I have heard that people like my site because I do a lot of lists and bullet points.
  • Write down your ideas. I now see the world through a blog. Every adventure, mistake, or funny occurrence can become blog material. When I see something funny happen to a person without a blog I think, "sucks for you." If they only had a blog they could turn that funny story into blog gold. The problem is that I often get ideas for posts and then I forget them. Because of that I write down ideas when I have them. I have a notebook in my car, house, and office. Now because I have a smart phone I also take notes on it. It helps for days where I have writer's block. I go to my list and then write from one of the ideas.
  • Write for a bigger audience. My blog has decent stats. It now consistently gets over 200 unique visits a day. It's not huge but it's still growing. When I started I was lucky to get 20 people to read. When I had 20 people I would write like I had an audience of 200. I try to remove insider language, I explain things for first time guests, and I wrote as if I had 200 people reading. In other words I wrote everyday like my blog was a big deal. Even when no one cared I kept writing. Now that my blog has 200 readers I am thinking of ways to write for a larger audience. This includes changing up my blog host, adding more guest posts, and changing my blog's look.  These changes are hopefully coming soon.
  • Take a break. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I have found that by taking most weekends off I am re-energized by Monday morning to blog.
  • Leave comments on other sites and link to blogs you like. If you want comments then you need to leave comments. Also when you link to a site that you like the writer will notice and they might even visit your site.
  • For the best advice I've found go to Blogrocket.com. Bryan Allain is a blogging ninja and you can get a lot of free advice from his site. He also posted 10 Tips For Beginning Bloggers on his site. Check it here.
Recently I have discovered a whole slew of new bloggers. I kept seeing their names in the comment section of a couple of the blogs that I read. I decided to click on their names and it has opened up a whole new level of blog fun. Here are some recent blogs that I have enjoyed reading...
  • The Seeking Pastor. This is my favorite new blog. It's not new to the world, but it is new to me. He also leaves great comments on my site so that doesn't hurt my love for his stuff. He's funny, engaging, and a very consistent blogger.
  • Wes Draws. I found Wes' site because he gave one of my posts a shout on his blog. When I was a kid I wanted to be a cartoon artist. It never panned out for me so I live vicariously through his blog. He puts great cartoons to his posts. I love his site.
  • Stuff Christians Like. This is the mothership of all Christ Followers who blog. Jon Acuff's blog is funny, challenging, and he gets a tra-zillion comments. His site is three years old but I didn't start reading it until this year.
  • Tyler Tarver. WesDraws.com gets the assist for me finding Tyler's blog. He was featured on Wes' "Friday Faves." I went to Tyler's site and I laughed. Not at his site but at his content. He not only blogs but he also loves movies. Speaking of movies...
  • Educlaytion. I don't remember how I found Educlaytion's blog. I do know that he loves movies. He did a post asking what the best movies of all time where. I put down Die Hard, The Dark Knight, and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Next thing I know I was entered into March Movie Madness. Unfortunately my movie, The Dark Knight, lost to the Matrix in Elite 8. Oh well. He has a great site.
  • Tyler Stanton. Ok if you are a regular at robshep.com then you know that I didn't recently discover Tyler Stanton's blog. I pimp it out with some frequency. His blog is where I kept seeing a lot of the names mentioned above. It's my blogging goal to one day have Tyler do a guest post for me.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Who Needs Sleep: Our Twins' First 24 Hours

"Who needs sleep? Well, you're never gonna get it. Who needs sleep? Tell me what's that for. Who needs sleep? No you're never gonna get it. There's a guy whose been awake since the Second World War." - Bare Naked Ladies (this is a music group and not a porno).

If you are new to the blog then you should know that my wife just had twins. Catch up on all the action by following me on Twitter.

So the first 24 hours of having twins has been intense. It's been so for two reasons...1. Monica is doing good but she lost a lot of blood. At one point they mentioned that she would have to have a blood transfusion if things didn't change with her. I think we are good now, but anytime the doctor gets concerned I freak. Her blood count was so low she couldn't get an epidural. That means that those jokers came O (WORST PAIN EVER) Natural.  2. I'm not really familiar with this baby thing.

Both twins are doing good but since they were premature they went to NICU. Yesterday I went to show them off to their grandparents and I got accosted. Now since they are my kids it's probably not accosted but I hadn't wrapped my mind around changing a diaper for the first time and feeding. Now don't get all crazy on me. I've been prepping myself to change a diaper, but I didn't think it was going to be while they were in their incubators. I was willing to jump in I just didn't expect it to happen like this....

On my way out of the NICU the nurse says, "hold on a second. Do you want to feed him?" Now of course I wanted to feed him, but Monica was upstairs. I didn't want to do it without her. I tried to call but my cell phone was dead. Next thing I know I am taking Hayden's temperature, changing his diaper (wait a minute...I got duped), and then feeding him. On a scale of Michele Duggar (19 Kids and Counting) to Kate Gosselin (John and Kate plus 8) I was was a Kate Gosselin. In other words I freaked. I surveyed his change and feeding only to be reminded by the nurse that I have a second child. What the???

Reese is really little. 3 lbs to be exact. To compare our twins difference rent the documentary "Twins." It's the true life story of a genetically superior baby and his twin brother. I kid I kid. Reese really is small though. It was scary enough taking care of Hayden but she's smaller than a Cabbage Patch doll. I freaked, but I made it through.

Hayden ended up doing so good he got to stay the night in our room last night. Yay! They told us that it could be up to three weeks before Reese can come home. So for now we sleep, freak out when they need their diapers changed, try to feed them, and sleep some more. Here are some pics of their first 24 hours.

Pictured Above: Mark and Dodi (Grandparents), Nicole (Aunt), Courtney (Amazing Friend), Marcia and Bob (Grandparents).

Pictured Above: Only thing that Monica could eat were Popsicles and ice chips. Good thing she loves Popsicles.

Pictured Above: Courtney, Lindsey, Danielle, and Monica all looking pretty.

Pictured Above: Larry and Jessi, Danielle and Dan, Lindsey, Courtney, Stu and Tab, Mark, Marcia, Bob, Nicole and Jon.

Pictured Above: Hello Hayden.

Pictured Above: Hello Reese.

Pictured Above: Reese and Hayden.

Pictured Above: Hayden our wide open child.

Pictured Above: Reese our modest child.

Pictured Above: Monica with Hayden.

Pictured Above: This was the first time Monica got to be with Hayden.

Pictured Above: Monica and Reese.

Pictured Above: Rob being duped into a diaper change.

Pictured Above: Is this how this thing is supposed to go?

Pictured Above: Our first family pic.

Pictured Above: Monica looking beautiful with the twins.

Pictured Above: Rob feeding Hayden.

Pictured Above: Hayden and Carlyn.

Pictured Above: Jamey and Hayden.

Pictured Above: I think I figured out how America can get some oil. Eww gross.

Pictured Above: Rob trying to figure out the diaper thing and Jamey supervising.